Social Question

jdcricket13's avatar

Do you think it is selfish to decide not have children?

Asked by jdcricket13 (11points) January 9th, 2018

Do you think it is selfish to live your life for yourself and not have children (when you are able to)? Rather focus on your career or have rescue dogs (that you treat like children)? Does your viewpoint change if you are last blood line of your parents (no grandchildren from any siblings)?

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34 Answers

canidmajor's avatar

Any decision about choosing, or not, to be a parent is selfish.

chyna's avatar

That was the choice I made. To not have children. I don’t think I would have been a good mom but I didn’t really want kids. I don’t think it’s selfish. I think it’s selfish to have kids you really don’t want and not treat them well.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Selfish to whom? Who is suffering? Are you going to defend the idea that an unfertilized egg has rights to be fertilized?

Are you supporting some sort of Sperm Defense League that stands up for sperm that don’t get their chance to fertilize an egg?

No – there is no selfishness involved. You make the decision that’s best for YOU in your circumstances.

Mariah's avatar

I would argue that it is the opposite of selfish. The world is overpopulated enough. No one would be harmed by your decision to not bring another human – with all the risks that come with that – into the world.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The premise is ridiculous. No one should be obligated to bear children.

Kardamom's avatar

No, people that do not want children should not be parents. No one should be forced to have children against their will, or be forced to give them up for adoption, because they didn’t want them in the first place.

I am curious to know why you would think it would be selfish for someone to choose not to have children?

tinyfaery's avatar

All the reasons people have kids are selfish. The choice not to have kids can be selfish, but not always. And what’s wrong with being selfish?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Of course not! Why would it be selfish? We’re saying the long good by to our two dogs, and I don’t ever want to get another dog. Is that selfish of me?

KNOWITALL's avatar

Absolutely not, it’s actually the most unselfish thing imo. We’re on an overcrowded planet with limited resources, orphanages across the world are full, and bad parents abound.

People may look at you askance when you don’t need the validation of a mini-me, because so many people do, but life is full of opportunities to foster change, to volunteer to help others, to learn, to travel, to create- we aren’t offered only ONE path in life. And yes, I have two dogs that needed homes, and four birds, and ⅓ of a city full of children that I try to help.

My dna isn’t that spectacular and I’m not afraid our species will die out, just be you and do what makes you happy. Just remember, it’s not always easy on your parents, or yourself to make the choice not to have kids, people may say you’re abnormal, or there must be something wrong with you, but as long as you know your reasons, it’s really no one else’s business so you aren’t required to answer.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So glad to see you’re back @KNOWITALL! Rick’s going to be in your neck of the woods today, too. And I think your DNA is perfectly spectacular!

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Dutchess_III Oh, I bet he’s chilly then, it’s nasty and foggy and freezing here. Well thanks, you’re pretty good yourself lol

marinelife's avatar

No, it is not selfish. First of all, we can never know the reason that someone makes that decision or even if it was a decision and not a situation where the choice was taken out of a couple’s hands.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s a very, very serious decisions and you have to make the right one. Lives are at stake.

Zaku's avatar

No, I don’t think it’s selfish. Or rather, I think people should be allowed to choose whether to have or raise children or not, for themselves. I think it’s a major imposition for anyone to presume to make that choice for someone else, even passive-aggressively as some family members do. That’s one big part of my objection to anti-abortion proposals.

Also, I think with the massive amount of suffering that seems about to happen due to rapidly increasing human over-population, I think NOT creating new humans would be a great thing for most people to consider.

Of course that perspective is my own and/or a cultural one. There are cultures and people who feel making children and continuing family lines is a major duty.

Dutchess_III's avatar

And it’s always the male line they’re most concerned with. >_<

flutherother's avatar

It’s a personal decision. If you don’t want children then you shouldn’t have them.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Accidents happen.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

It was decided by my wife and I both that kids would not be a thing for us. I don’t particularly see that as selfish, I see it as responsible.
People who have kids without regard to finances, living conditions or any real plan whatsoever are indeed..selfish.

Bloodlines are silly, in a couple generations the amount of other people your descendents are related to are staggering. Every gene in my DNA already exists in the population so…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Speaking of which I got my DNA results.

si3tech's avatar

@jdcricket13 The man and woman in the relationship/marriage MUST agree!

elbanditoroso's avatar

@Dutchess_III – are you human? I’ve had some doubts.

Dutchess_III's avatar

YES I’M HUMAN! Mostly UK human though. Not showing anything out of the Netherlands, and my grandparents on my mom’s side were born and raised there. They immigrated in the 20s.
Don’t want to derail this thread though…and I’m out of questions.

kritiper's avatar

No. You do what you gotta do. Not having children is a logical decision. Selfishness doesn’t figure into the equation.

johnpowell's avatar

It is very selfish to deprive your friends on Facebook a constant stream of baby pictures. Really, it is the reason people use Facebook, to see a constant wall of your fugly baby.

Dutchess_III's avatar


Darth_Algar's avatar

If anything people have children for entirely selfish reasons.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

The people here have given you some great answers.
My wife and I were hounded for years by her side of the family saying we HAD to have children,from things like who will carry on the family name, to who will look after you when your old type thing and everything in between.
Children can be the biggest blessing one can ever imagine ,and on the flip side they also can be the biggest curse.
DO NOT let anyone try and force you into having children, NOT family, NOT friends,NOR people on the internet.
It is a decision between you and your other half alone.
NOT having children was the best thing my wife and I ever did, and people said we were selfish for not having any I always defended our choice and asked why does that make us selfish? not one person could say why.
I will say if you do choose to have children then go into it 1000% there is no turning back weather you have one or ten you are a parent for the rest of your life, and be the best you can be.
And if you choose not to then be happy with that as well.

Kardamom's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 I’d like to give you 10,000 lurve for that answer : )

Darth_Algar's avatar

Ah yes, I too got the old “carry on the family name” argument from time to time. There’s like 20,000 people on this planet with my last name. I don’t think it’s in danger of dying out any time soon.

AshlynM's avatar

Nope. It’s completely your own choice and you shouldn’t be looked down upon or made to feel bad because you made such a decision. I do not have children nor do I plan on having any. I’d rather get a dog.

Blackberry's avatar

Are people automatically just supposed to have kids?

I honestly didn’t know that.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Blackberry Try being a female in the Midwest, it’s a given, I’m a FREAK! haha

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh, the pressure can be subtle, but yeah @Blackberry, it’s assumed they will. And good to see you!!

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