General Question

dopeguru's avatar

Why do women crush on me more than men?

Asked by dopeguru (1377points) January 12th, 2018

I’m bisexual but women are more often “infatuated”, in their own words, by me than men are. Its very hard to meet a man I really like who also wants a relationship with me. But with women, I am the one doing the rejecting because I’m not interested in many who are into me. After just three dates, girls would delete their dating apps for me, tell me they’re falling in love, constantly text me day and night… With men, nothing. Nothing. None of it. Some reciprocate, but not as intensely as I do.

Why is this?

This made me think that men generally have more options than women do when it comes to finding a partner. Is this true?

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9 Answers

anniereborn's avatar

Lesbian and bisexual woman probably have far less to choose from than hetero males do.

elbanditoroso's avatar

I don’t know you, so this is just a guess.

Maybe your appearance, facial expressions, etc., are subconsciously sending out signals to men that are off-putting. Even though you say you like men, you could easily (and not purposely) sending “stay away” messages which are interpreted that way by men.

It may also be that men are not comfortable with dating a woman who also dates other women.

rojo's avatar

I am just gonna throw this out there but if I had to guess I would say because men are less prone to want or tolerate drama in their love lives.

marinelife's avatar

Do you tell the men that you are dating that you are bisexual? I would save that for later as the relationship progresses. Are you concentrating solely on having a relationship with men? If so, your profile should reflect that.

gorillapaws's avatar

I think you’re attracted to jerks. I don’t know why this is (but it probably has to do with your Mom somehow—I’m basing this on things you’ve mentioned a while back). There are probably lots of decent guys who might be interested in you, but you aren’t interested in them. As for the lesbian thing, I really have no clue and I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going on in their minds. It’s 2018, you can have whatever kinds of relationships you want, but what I would say is that you seem to be unhappy and want something different from what you’ve been getting. If that’s the case, you should probably do some “recalibrating” in terms of the kinds of people you get involved with.

I think it’s worth speaking with a professional therapist about your relationships.

johnpowell's avatar

Dating apps == men just want to fuck you and move on

tinyfaery's avatar

There is a joke that goes: What do lesbians take on a second date? A U-Haul.

Women who date women tend to get into serious relationships rather quickly. It could be a gender thing. Women tend to be more comfortable with emotions and committing to someone. I don’t think this is the same with men.

I am bisexual and never had a problem with dating either sex. I had more serious relationships with men than women before I married my wife. I do not know why you seem to have a problem.

Kardamom's avatar

Wow! Now you’re a bisexual! The details just keep on coming don’t they?

When you first got here, you said you had no interest in being in a relationship. That evolved into why you couldn’t get any of these men you have slept with to fall in love with you. That evolved into what you could do to get these men to love you and want to have a relationship with you, even though they’ve told you they aren’t interested in you. That has now evolved into you being bisexual and having all sorts of women having crushes on you.

I really wish I had a score card, so I could keep track of all the men you’ve slept with, and how often you’ve either changed the story a bit, or added more juicy details.

Who knows why women have crushes on you. Maybe they think you are hot, or mysterious, or they like the thrill of the chase. Who knows why the men don’t. Maybe they like to have sex, but don’t have any feelings for you. Who knows?

A lot of us would love to actually give you some real advice, but since we don’t really know what the story is, or can’t even follow it without a score card, we can’t. Each of us would probably give very different advice, for all of these different scenarios that you have presented to us, over time. Unless we actually know what the real situation is, I don’t think we can help you.

I will re-iterate for the hundredth time, though, that you seem to have a lot of problems and issues related to sex and relationships, beyond what most people do. I really think you need therapy and I hope you are able to get it.

LostInParadise's avatar

Since you are bisexual, shouldn’t you be equally satisfied with a relationship with a woman as with a man?

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