Boyfriend is depressed and told me to leave him for sometime?

I think 3 yrs is enough time to know a person well. Do you know what might be possible reason for his depression? Are you in contact with his friends who can help you with it if you’re unaware?

Family member sudden death family problems on hes on medication ,he has tendincies to push me away . I don’t really interact with his friends .

Time for you to take care of yourself. You can send him a goodbye note that says, “I’ll listen to your advice and move on with my life, but remember if you need help to reach out.”

I suggest you disconnect from this non-boyfriend (he really isn’t one if your relationship is as you describe), gently but firmly.

Unless he gets help, and you are actively involved with that, including going to at least one therapist visit with him (as a couple and helpmate), this will continue, and probably get worse if you stay with him.

He already suffers frim depression, and doesn’t seem to be being helped by the medication (if he’s taking it), and he most likely also needs to be seeing a therapist, which I gather he isn’t. And his psychiatrist or primary care doctor may need to change his medication, or change the doseage.

He’s already shown a tendency to push you away when things get rough for him. That’s not likely to change.

If I were you, I would want to get in contact with his immediate family, to see if they are aware of this situation, and if they are doing anything to help him.

In the meantime, if he’s not talking to you, I would write up a note to ask him to accompany you to a doctor appt, to get him some help.

If he either doesn’t answer you, or doesn’t agree to get help, I would urge you to move on with your life without him, and not sit around hoping for him to come back, or change. He might come back, but without getting help, this situation will continue.

So sorry this is happening to you. Best of luck.

I think he wants time alone to sort out his feelings and resolve his depression. I would not try to force him to go to a doctor with you. I would not necessarily break it off if you love him but I would live my life as if we were broken off. Try as much as possible to put him out of your mind and enjoy other things. Perhaps after a month or two, reach out to him and see where he’s at and depending on his response, make a final break if that’s what you want.

If you feel he may be suicidal and know someone who might help him, you could contact them although you say you don’t really know his friends.

He is giving you a clear message; I would honor that but also take care of yourself and see if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in.

Talk to others in your mutual circle of friends and family. See if they are getting the same message; if he has also distanced himself from them also or if it is just you.

Maybe he is depressed, maybe he just wants space, maybe he is trying to break up in an odd and non-threatening (to him anyway) way

It strikes me as odd that you have dated him for 3 years and don’t really know his friends or interact with them.
Maybe he isn’t the boyfriend for you. I would follow his wishes and leave him. I do know that is easier said than done. When you love someone, right or wrong, that person is your world. Good luck.

Give him some space. It sounds like he wants to sort his life out some before making any plans with you. Have you been pressuring him about something? Lay off. Give him that space! Let him contact you when he’s ready.

If he is on meds for depression, his doctor absolutely needs to know about this.
Antidepressants carry clear warnings that if depression worsens, or if feelings of suicide are present, to notify the doctor immediately.
For that reason, you SHOULD either tell his parents, or go with him to see his doctor.
Oftentimes, the side effects cause the individual to avoid telling their doctor, so someone should make certain the doctor knows of this latest occurance.

it’s hard to know exactly what’s going on but normally when people are depressed there are some signals…they just seem down and not themselves. Maybe seem sad. I don’t know if you picked up on any of this. Maybe you might know of anything going on in his life? If you’ve been together for 3 years…you must know him pretty well, I would think..if he’s not hiding anything.

Asking you to leave him alone for some time and nothing else is a little puzzling since you’ve been together for 3 years. I would give him space for a day or so but then I think he should communicate with you and tell you what’s going on or what he is experiencing without leaving you in the dark or ignoring you. If after this conversation you see that he is genuinely depressed then ask him what he wants/needs. But maybe if he is depressed then you could help to make him feel better. A problem shared is a problem halved. Often bottling up our feelings can be destructive.