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sheila94's avatar

How do you deal with the pain of letting go of someone you love?

Asked by sheila94 (32points) March 14th, 2018

How do you deal with the pain of letting go of someone you love? I let go of a great guy because my personal issues (anger, depression) came between us. I decided to then end the relationship because of my instability.

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8 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

I let go of a friend of 7 years because she became too toxic. It was very hard at first. I didn’t want to let her go, but at the same time I found myself filled with anger every time I was near her. Every time I thought of her I had to say to myself: “It’s the best for both of us”. She is no longer in my life now, but I don’t miss her as much.

Zaku's avatar

I let myself express and be with the feelings, because they need to be expressed. By not trying to not have those feelings, I have been able to better understand what the feelings are really about, and instead of relating to them as an awful situation about a specific person that I don’t get to have in my life, at some point the way I relate to them has shifted to mainly something not about that specific person at all, but about my capacity and hope for a good relationship in the future. At that point, it has shifted to feeling like just one person I’m not with, and that what I’m really attached to is my own ability to love and be in a great relationship with someone, and then I can work on myself so I can do my best to be a good person to be in such a relationship.

That point of shift has occurred for me like a night & day shift of realization, but has required allowing myself to clearly feel all the upset feelings that were there and that I was tormenting myself about by relating to them as a personal tragedy.

Good job assessing yourself and not wanting to keep a relationship going that isn’t working and to take responsibility for your part in it. Notice that a great guy wanted to be with you despite serious anger and depression. Consider how awesome it will be once you have a handle on those issues and feel good recommending yourself to someone great!

CWOTUS's avatar

One day at a time, sometimes one breath at a time; one step at a time. It’s difficult. The way that I’ve done it – because I have – is to realize that people have done it from time immemorial, and reminding myself that “if they can do it, then so can I”.

Good luck to you.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sometimes if you truly love someone and are self-aware, the best thing you can do to show love is to let them go, or give them the gift of your silence. Doesn’t mean you can’t love them, or keep in touch on occasion if they’re okay with that, or pray for them but after that intensity is gone, it’s a bittersweet feeling sometimes forever. Good for you for thinking of someone other than yourself, that’s rare in this world.

kritiper's avatar

Time. You have to give it time. Set your sights on 6 months from now and how much better you’ll feel then.

wisegirl's avatar

Everyone has issues. Did You share these feelings / issues with that person? If not, then You will never know if that person was willing to share your issues or lend u support at times when u need it most. Real ” Love does not alter when it alterations finds, No. It is an ever fixed mark that does not bend with its remover to remove…”
Shakespeare said it in 1600’s, but it still applies today.. Love is constant If it was real at the start, it will always exist no matter how u try to remove it or wish it away. Love does not change,. People try to change love around. try to Alter it to fit their whims, wants and ideals
You Could have Broken that person’s Heart…and They may never know Why…No Closure for them. Just saying one second of Certainty, beats a lifetime of Doubt.

AbstractGenius's avatar

If you search for ways to eliminate the thought of thinking about him then you are doing it the wrong way. Those who can get rid of these emotions, do get rid of them, those who search for ways, never.

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