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LuminousLight's avatar

[NEED ADVICE] Leaving a job to relocate for personal reasons after only 3 months?

Asked by LuminousLight (31points) April 2nd, 2018

I’ve gotten myself into an extremely awkward situation and I wanted to know what the smart people of Fluther think.

So, after a breakup with my gf in the last quarter of 2017, I moved to my current city and have been here for 7–8 months. After getting physical distance from her, we re-connected via text messages and Facetime and it turned into a LDR with visits in between. We’ve found ourselves missing each other and wanting to give the relationship another shot. I know how that sounds. However, I have also decided that I don’t want to continue living in this city even if it wasn’t about giving the relationship another shot. I’ve come to realize that this city just isn’t a good fit for me and I don’t really have a future here. I feel like the city I was in before was a better fit (even without the relationship, so if it were to fail again, I’d be in the city I like).

Unfortunately, I didn’t finally, fully realize this until about a month after starting a new job here. I’ve now been working here for three months and I want to give 4 weeks notice to relocate to the city I was in before (where my partner is). The job itself is good experience for my field. However, the company is very small (I prefer bigger companies), and I feel that the culture is a mismatch with my personal values. They have been having problems with firing/laying off employees with short notice, so turnover seems high. However, they’ve recently had a change of management and are trying to show that the company cares about its employees. All of this makes me feel worse about wanting to leave. Not to mention, this month is their year-end so it is busy (I plan to leave at the end of the month, which will be after the busy-ness). I don’t think working remotely is feasible because it is a small company and a lot of the work requires paperwork. Taxes/cost of living situation between this state and the one I want to move to would make staying very financially disadvantageous for me. As for my work history, I’ve only been out of school for just over 4 years so it’s pretty short. I stayed at my first job for 2.5 years and had a one-year contract. I did have one FTE job that I left after eight months because it was a bad situation and was making me miserable. Otherwise it’s just this new job. So, my questions:

1) How do I sell this relocation thing to my current workplace and to potential employers? It’s not technically for family or anything, which I know sounds a bit better. Can I just say it’s for “personal reasons” and not give any further details?

2) I know it’d be ideal to stay at least a year, but I can’t see myself wasting another year here for the sake of work.

3) How do I deal with my current employer? Should I tell them ASAP that I want to leave? I’m afraid they’ll just fire me and the bridge will be burned. How do I do this gracefully? My end date is set so the longer I delay it, the less “notice” I’ll have to give them.

Please help.

TLDR; I relocated to new city after a breakup with my gf. After careful considering, I’d decided I’m moving back to work things out and also because the old city is a better fit for me, however I’ve started a new job and it’s only been 3 months. I plan to give 4 weeks notice to relocate back to old city. How do I tell them? This will be so awkward.

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10 Answers

janbb's avatar

Welcome to Fluther!

I would be honest with your boss and tell him/her sooner rather than later. You can tell them that you need to relocate for a relationship that is growing. These things do happen. Be as positive as you can about the job and regretful about leaving. Two weeks’ notice is the standard but depending on how important your job is (how hard it might be to fill), you might want to give longer notice. It is possible that they may ask you to leave sooner so be prepared for that.

Three months is often called a probation period at many jobs and people do sometimes leave after three months. It isn’t the best thing in the world resume-wise but life happens.

Good luck!

chyna's avatar

Great advice from @janbb. She is correct that there is usually a 3 month period that both the employer and employee decides if it is a good fit all the way around.
The fact that they have management issues is a red flag, too. Just because they have new managers doesn’t mean they won’t lay you off with out a notice, so I wouldn’t be too concerned about leaving if you do it as you say you are going to. Good luck and welcome to Fluther.

rojo's avatar

You have a couple of things going in your favor; you are willing to give four weeks notice and the company has been having high turnover.
While your company may not like you leaving after such a short time, they should appreciate that you are willing to stay on for a month and train a replacement. Make the offer. Also, what is the downside if they let you go earlier? Is there any? Do you have other commitments that would keep you in the city longer (lease, etc)? If you give a letter of resignation for a date four weeks in the future I suppose they could fire you on the spot (but that might open them up to litigation) or they could say no, two weeks is fine. Either way, you have made the opening gambit making a reasonable, rational move but you cannot guarantee their response. A future employer can be told the circumstances if it goes south.
As for future potential employers, you can truthfully say you had to relocate back for personal, and if things work out with your gf, family reasons. I don’t think you need to go into greater depth.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’d make sure it’s not all about the gf, tbh. We don’t care here, but the fact you added it to your explanation would make me question you if I was a friend of yours.

LuminousLight's avatar

@janbb thanks for your response. Yes, I actually just passed the 3-month probation period 2 weeks ago. I’ve decided to give them 4 weeks because it is a busy month for them so I doubt they’ll have time to hire someone before I leave. But I feel bad because I can’t stay longer than the 4 weeks.

LuminousLight's avatar

@chyna yeah, this company has many “red flags”. I have a boring 9–5 job but over the weekend, was asked to do extra work for OT pay. I didn’t realize that I’d have to wake up at 3am and drive two hours to the site to perform my duties. It was a long day and worse weekend ever. Thanks for your response.

LuminousLight's avatar

@rojo I guess there isn’t really a downside to if they were to let me go earlier, other than I’d be missing the rest of this month’s salary, which isn’t a problem as I have the savings to make the move. However, the extra money would be nice. I am on a month to month lease at where I’m staying and have already given the landlord notice that I’ll be moving out at the end of the month. So I could leave earlier, that’s no problem. Thanks for responding.

LuminousLight's avatar

@KNOWITALL thanks for responding. I can confirm that this isn’t just about my gf. A big part of it is also because I personally don’t see a future here. Although my gf is part of the reason, she’s not the only reason.

seawulf575's avatar

If you want to leave, then leave. If you stay, you won’t enjoy it and it will reflect in your work. I would strongly suggest, however, that you find a job where you are planning to move to so that you aren’t just moving and landing in a hole. And if this company has been good to you, then give them 2 weeks notice to be fair to them.

rojo's avatar

Remember. you can give your entire life to a company that will replace you probably in less than a week after you die.

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