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nightlife33's avatar

How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?

Asked by nightlife33 (4points) May 6th, 2018

I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago and I don’t know how to properly tell my parents. I’m only 16 and they don’t know that me and my partner have been sexually active. I know my parents will go off and I’m afraid to tell them. I know that my parents may not let me see my partner if they find out and I want him to help with my pregnancy. How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant without them getting mad?

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19 Answers

seawulf575's avatar

Been there and done that…from the parents side. First off, how serious are you with your partner? Is he going to stick around? Does he know you are pregnant? If he knows and is serious, then the best thing to do is to get his folks and yours together and tell them both at the same time…as a couple. If he is not serious, then dump him now. Don’t waste any more time with him and tell your parents by yourself. They will go through a period of being mad and disappointed. You will just have to accept that. It is the natural reaction. But be a adult about things. Own your error. Yes, you had sex and yes you weren’t careful and yes you got pregnant. Now you need their support going forward. But be thinking about what you can do to avoid repeating this error in the future. But you will need your parents’ support in the future and you want them to be on your side. They love you and will love your child if you decide to keep it. But they need to know sooner rather than later. If your partner is sticking around, then you and he and both your parents can work on what the future looks like for you both.

johnpowell's avatar

Have you considered the legal risks your partner might be in if your parents freak out?

seawulf575's avatar

@johnpowell I believe that boat sailed. The deed is done. If the partner is an adult and the laws would go against him, it’s a little too late. If she has the baby, he will have to be responsible for it regardless of his age. Right or wrong, the legal aspects will kick in eventually.

johnpowell's avatar

Not really. She could say she was raped. He could know it his and support it. But not go to jail for banging a 16 year old.

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LadyMarissa's avatar

It’s a bit late to worry about your parents going off. The fact is that you ARE pregnant & it will be difficult to hide for long…the sooner you tell them the better!!! You have plans for your partner to be a part of this pregnancy; but, have you discussed that with your partner??? With many in this situation, making the baby is a lot more interesting than being there for your partner & your new creation. You may easily be getting ready to become a single Mother to a newborn with NO support system & I bet your parents will be there for you although they may well go off while doing it!!!

There’s a good chance that the realities of motherhood will be a lot different than you have imagined & your parents understand this better than you do. So, give them the benefit of the doubt & be HONEST with them today if not sooner. You might want to tell your Mom first. Yes, she’s going to freak; but I bet she will understand better than your dad will.

It’s time you take responsibility for your actions & telling your parents will end up being the easiest part of the process!!!

MrGrimm888's avatar

The longer you go without telling them, the worse the outcome. You made some decisions that put you here. Time to own up. If you’re going to keep the baby, you will need lots of help. You’re parents can help you get the medical advice, and treatments you need while carrying the baby. There are many things that need to be monitored, to ensure the health of the baby and yourself. And, at 16 you’re going to need more help than a boyfriend. That’s just a fact.

In life, there are times when we need to lean on others. It’s not a bad thing. It’s normal. If your parents might be mad, that tells me that at least they care about you. That’s more than many have. Not involving the parents would be making more bad moves. If you care about your parents, and the baby, you will alert them of this situation immediately. Being a Mom is the most important job on the planet. Part of that job, is being responsible.

I can’t imagine how stressful this must be. I wish you the best of luck. We are all human, and therefore imperfect. But you can make some better decisions going forward.

Peace n love.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It is statutory rape whether she was raped or it was consensual. So, yeah. If her partner is 18 then her could potentially get thrown in jail and have a record for the rest of his life. And he’ll be on a sex offenders watch list.
So much you didn’t think of @nightlife33.
You just have to tell them. I’ll bet your mom suspects anyway.

gorillapaws's avatar

Form a medical standpoint, you need to tell them so that if you decide to keep the pregnancy you can begin taking the appropriate vitamins and getting the appropriate medical care. It could affect the fetus’s development if you don’t see an OB. Best wishes in this difficult time. There is no easy way out at this point.

Kardamom's avatar

Go to the OP’s other Question about the same subject. There is a lot of good info there.

Kardamom's avatar

How long have you been pregnant? It is still possible to get an abortion. I’m guessing that the OP might be mis-representing herself. I’ve never heard of a 16 year old girl referring to her boyfriend as a “partner”.

And then she “forgot” her password and had to create another question. Does any of this sound fishy to anyone else?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Kardamom I subtly pointed it out in my answer there. I was basically saying that she didn’t need a new question because this question already provided her what she needed. She did read this thread but chose to ignore all the advice. Also I hardly believe her boyfriend is excited to be a father if they both knew their act was stupid. I suspect she is lying for our validation or the boyfriend was trying to earn her trust so that he could run away more easily, assuming that this entire story is true.

rojo's avatar

@nightlife33 There is no way you can tell them without them “getting mad” but that is just one of the emotions they will be feeling. The sooner you tell them the better, being pregnant usually doesn’t go away on its own and the longer you try to hide it, the harder it is going to be both on them and to tell them. You need to face your fear, control it and get on with your life. It is one of lifes little surprises and you must deal with it as best you can. Your options are kind of limited, basically, have the baby and keep it, give it up for adoption or have an abortion. With any of these three choices the sooner your parents are involved, the sooner they can give you the help and support you need for whatever path you choose.

If you choose the abortion route (and I am not suggesting this, it is your decision and your decision alone) you need to do so quickly, It is harder, both physically and mentally the longer you wait. I think it is also more expensive and then there is always that point at which it no longer becomes and option.

Kardamom's avatar

The other question is currently being moderated. I just checked to see if the OP came back, over there, and it is unavailable right now.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant. Just say and and take what comes. They will not stop loving you over this, but it will scare them, disappoint them, and maybe embarrass them. They will not give up on you. Give them a chance.

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