Social Question

MooCows's avatar

Are you going through a hard financial time right now?

Asked by MooCows (3185points) May 6th, 2018

My husband and I are and it is pretty scary
at our age. Wondering if anyone else is going
through this stress right now.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

30 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

Always. And I’ve worked so damn hard in my life.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Every time it gets better and I feel like I can start to relax some shit hits the fan again and I have to start all over. I’m too old to be starting from scratch!

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I’m finally getting ahead. Other than food and utilities like internet and cable I live an austere life.

stanleybmanly's avatar

No, but we’ve been very fortunate and I am all too aware of it.

Aethelwine's avatar

Yes. Our medical needs are ongoing and we are already deeply in debt because of it. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel for us.

Hugs to you @MooCows. I know it’s scary.

YARNLADY's avatar

No, my husband makes a salary that puts us in the top 5%. However, we have several family members who require financial help, and therefore, we have to continue to be very frugal.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Welcome to the struggle bus!

It seems that adversity, is just the way of life. I hope you can overcome it. I’m sure we all can. It just takes character, resourcefulness, inovation, sacrifice, hard work, diligence, determination, and basically going through some shit.

I’m hustling right now with two jobs, trying to get a new full-time job. It is what it is.

I mentioned in another thread, that I drove for Uber part time, and it’s lucrative, if you drive during surge rates…

JLeslie's avatar

Yes and no. I have a lot of savings, but we are earning barely enough to cover expenses, I think maybe we are actually not covering them, I don’t know. Even though we have the savings, psychologically it’s very difficult for my husband, and creates added stress in my marriage. We have been through illnesses, infertility, and other problems that are a big deal for a marriage, but nothing has created more strife than money issues.

If I had to choose I would say no we don’t have money problems, because we can pay our bills, and could for a long time if we stopped making money for a while. I hate to say I have a money problem when it could be so much worse, and I do know what it’s like to not be able to afford basic things like rent and food.

Mariah's avatar

I am quite fortunate. My boyfriend and I are DINKs both working in a lucrative field. Even still we are not without our problems. He has tens of thousands of dollars of student loan debt still to pay. It was in the six figures when he started. Since we live in the Boston area, cost of living is absurd and even with our high incomes we do not think we’ll be able to move from being renters to property owners for a very long time. And despite my savings, if I ever lose health insurance my finances will be obliterated in an instant. Still, I am probably more financially secure than 90% of people my age and a good percentage of people older than me too. I am thankful every day.

MooCows's avatar

Thanks for everyone that stepped up and was honest about this.
It helps that we are not the only ones struggling right now.
It is hard to wake up and know the financial “monster” is
still lurking. To be sucks.

JLeslie's avatar

@MooCows It’s the worst stress ever. When I was in my 20’s I went through it, which I will say doesn’t compare to adults who have kids and mortgages. My dad gave me $1,000 to keep me out of debt, and then I went back to my old job making more money. I had my parents, no major obligations, and still it was a horrible time.

My husband is having a nervous breakdown living in the little place we are in now, and wants to build our bigger house. I’m a nervous reck thinking he will put us in a worse financial situation. So, now he’s annoyed that I don’t work full time. But, because he needs fancier things I have to work more? I’m afraid I’m going to resent him if we build a house while we barely afford what we are doing now. It’s totally crazy. Right now, I think he resents me, because he wants more, and I don’t want to work much harder.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Not right now, no. My husband is finally working again after some health issues, which helps a lot.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I am unemployed and pretty freaking desperate. My husband is rather high maintenance too and has very little money sense. This creates a lot of stress.
I do have a job interview this afternoon with Habitat for Humanity. I have offered to volunteer my services in an admin capacity. They jumped on it, of course. I’m hoping it will lead to an actual paid position.

MooCows's avatar

We finally got out from under the stress of a big house and pool 15 years ago and I thought it taught my husband a lesson but darn if we didn’t move to the country and buy acreage and built ANOTHER big house…and again we cannot afford it….didn’t need it…but his excuse was “this is what we will leave our sons.” Not if the bank gets it back first now that we are 3 payments behind. Its hard to catch up when your house pmt is over $2,000 a month. He won’t go get a job as his “job” is taking care of the farm. I have no secure feeling whatsoever right now but i think my husband thrives on stress. Growing up my parents had money in the bank and just a small house but we took vacations and had what we needed. Yes I have resentments about him getting us in this mess and it is embarrassing at our age Just hope the sons learn from this and don’t copy their dad.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Good luck Dutch. I actually just retired from law enforcement, and today got hired as a bartender in a fancy restaurant! I’m very nervous, but excited. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Now, to put in the work.

@MooCows . I’m sorry for your stressful life. Farmers work really hard. Hopefully he’ll dig his way out of the mess.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I thought you were a bouncer @MrGrimm888?

MrGrimm888's avatar

Yep. Was. Fuck that shit. I won’t have to fight anymore, and should have exponentially risen my earnings. I’m pleased I left law enforcement. It was a great decision.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@MrGrimm888 Congrats to you, I know that was a big goal for you!

MrGrimm888's avatar

Thanks so much! It’s a huge deal.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@MrGrimm888 And maybe meet Mrs. Right…lol

MollyMcGuire's avatar

No. I’ve been blessed in life with opportunities.

2davidc8's avatar

@MrGrimm888 @Dutchess_III Good luck to you both. I wish you well.
@MooCows You may want to check out support services in your community. Though I’m doing OK financially now, that was not the case 45 years ago. I was in a situation such as yours. But a government program (CETA) allowed a local organization to hire me (as an early childhood education assistant, if you can believe it!), and I was able to slowly get everything straightened it.
Now I’m doing some volunteer work and I’m amazed at the available social and support services available, and most people don’t know about them! You could ask at one organization first, and if they can’t help you, they might be able to refer you to another, which can then refer your to another, and so forth, until eventually you may be able to find something. You just have to be persistent. Hang in there. And good luck!
Many of these organizations are associated with churches, but don’t turn up your nose at them. There are some genuinely supportive people there, and typically they don’t require you to join their churches. Not the ones that I know about, anyway.

MrGrimm888's avatar

@KNOWITALL . Mrs Right would be nice too….

2davidc8's avatar

@MooCows Have you looked into government programs that may help you refinance your mortgage?

flutherother's avatar

Or possibly taking in a lodger. I have been in some hair raising financial situations and know how unpleasant it can be. Good luck! You will get through it.

Response moderated (Spam)
stanleybmanly's avatar

These old questions are being resurrected by some spammer. It’s peculiar, but an opportunity. Looking at this question, I can’t say that I’m not threatened with financial peril. But I feel threatened nevertheless because I feel myself immersed in a community where the abiding sentiment is “the wolf is ALWAYS at the door”. There is this relentless saga of financial peril rotating among my acquaintances and there seems to be no letup. The closest analogy is like subsisting behind the lines in a combat zone, where you are never allowed to forget there’s a war and we’re losing.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, we’ve pared our life down so we can get by on very little.

stanleybmanly's avatar

You don’t get the feeling that “they’re coming for you”?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh yes. I get that feeling. It keeps me up at night.

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