General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Do Long Distance relationships work?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3158points) August 17th, 2008

My friend met this guy at camp, and are now dating. But the thing is, he lives about 10–14 hours away.
People are telling her to break up with him and not even try, because long distance relationships don’t work or won’t end up well. What’re your suggestions? Do any of them ever really work? What should she do?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

18 Answers

trumi's avatar

Not usually. It might last a couple months, but I’ve only heard of a few working out.

But it might be fun anyway! Most relationships are doomed and you know it, no reason to cut the fun off early.

Can you drive?

heysupnm's avatar

Maybe this and this can help.

marinelife's avatar

Usually, they do not. I do not, however, agree with the advice not even to try. A lot can be gained from the experience. It is a relationship. Knowing this guy could enrich her life in ways she cannot imagine. She won’t know unless she tries. Also, what does it hurt?

fuzzyjay's avatar

My wife was in Australia when we first met, so yes they can work. That said it’s alot of work and the bottom line is you need to spend some serious time together before you can tell if the relationship is going to work or not, you can’t really know someone until you’ve lived with them.

emt333's avatar

she should give it a shot.. but long distance relationships take a lot of work and maturity. much more than can be expected from anyone who is young enough to be going to camp.

sarapnsc's avatar

I have a coworker, who had a long distant relationship with someone she met online! They are now married.

As for myself, I don’t think it would work…I wouldn’t be able to hold or touch the person, because I like to touch and be physical with the person, I just wouldn’t want to put the time in sitting in front of a computer or telephone. I can’t see laying in my bed at night, with just trying to remember their voice or a picture, or just trying to remember what they looked like…I can’t see myself being on the phone every night or the computer typing away.
I dated someone who was just 220 miles away, that is long distance for me. It didn’t work out, just too much space between us.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@trumi, why are you wondering if i can drive?
honestly.. no.. my birthday’s kind of late and so i didn’t get into the drivers classes, and i didn’t want to take the summer course.
and to everyone else, thanks for the input. :P

trumi's avatar

If you can drive then it opens up the option of you two visiting each other. Guess not?

LottoWrett's avatar

Sometimes, depends on how determined the two people involved are willing to make it work, just like any relationship.
It depends if they can tolerate the distance and lack of physical connection, which is what usually puts an end to many a long distance relationships I’ve witnessed.
You have to be patient, understanding, and strong willed.

sarahsugs's avatar

My husband and I did long-distance for the first 2 years of our relationship. It was cross-country, and involved many letters, emails, phone calls, and visits whenever possible (I was at school so could come home on vacations). It was very tough at times, not because of doubting whether it was worth it, but just because of missing each other. We came through it stronger than ever. I always say that if a couple can survive long-distance, they can survive almost anything. But you definitely have to want it, and you have to be super in love, and you have to be willing to be sad and lonely sometimes. It’s a very personal decision. It’s not easy, but there are definitely long-distance relationships that work out when both people really want it to.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@trumi, ohh, well this is for my friend, but she can’t drive either.. haha..

amandaafoote's avatar

All in all, to tell you the honest truth of my opinion, if it doesn’t work out your friend will really realize that it’s not worth all the pain to just have dated someone…so try to have her think it out rationally.

argaudette's avatar

They definitely can work. I’ve been doing it for 3 years and a couple months now, with no end in sight. There of course are hard times, but we’ve matured a lot since the beginning and it’s getting easier. We have every intention of getting together as soon as possible. She only lives 4 hours away, which isn’t too bad, and I’m able to drive there once in a while. They’re tough, but they definitely can work. We’re young, both going into our last year of high school, which may seem ridiculous or stupid to some.

Randy's avatar

Not usually, soooo…..... NOOOOOOooooo! (In my opinion.)

MissAnthrope's avatar

They’re really hard and often don’t work for various reasons, but they DO sometimes work. Ordinarily, I’d give it a shot, at least keep up communication and see where it goes. However, seeing your age bracket, I have to be honest and say that there’s probably less of a chance that it would really work.

For one, the lack of transportation (car or funds to buy a plane ticket) will make getting into a relationship with someone that far away really difficult. They probably won’t be able to see each other more than a couple of times a year. I’m betting one or the other will probably find this a problem eventually.

Secondly, nothing against young people, it’s just that at your age, social relationships tend to be viewed a lot more fluidly than the way adults view them. You go through many different friendships when you’re young, and even though some stick and stay around forever, people come in and out of your life. In terms of romantic relationships, lots of people are together through high school, they part to go off to college, and they grow apart. If I had to guess, either your friend or the guy will probably lose interest eventually, especially if they meet someone else cool who actually lives near them.

flameboi's avatar

I’m trying to make it work…

Knotmyday's avatar

From experience, No. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer.

Loubylou44's avatar

If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be! So yes they can work, definitely. If both of you really want it, then it will.
;-)

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther