If you were a stock on the New York Stock Exchange, how would a stock analyst describe you?

I was thinking about some of the amazing young people we have on Fluther, and that if it were possible to invest in “people futures” or something like that, I’d be calling my broker to snap up a few shares of lefteh or shrubbery, among others. yeah, like I have a broker

So if you were up for trade on the Big Board, what might a stock analyst have to say about you? Would you be a “penny stock” or a “blue chip”? Does your prospectus foreshadow growth or a downturn? Are you favorably positioned in the market? Would you be a high-risk speculation or a long-term growth stock? Would he make a “buy”, “sell” or “hold” recommendation?