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Lonelyheart807's avatar

Why is it that in our lowest moments we feel so alone?

Asked by Lonelyheart807 (1537points) August 17th, 2018

The moment you have something drastic happen in your life, why is it family turns their backs on you? Maybe it’s just me, but my family has compassion or empathy whatsoever. They’re so wrapped up in their own lives they could care less about what I’m going through.

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11 Answers

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Because at that time; we are alone.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Is it possible you just feel that they turn their backs when you need them most? I only ask because I do this sometimes. When I’m going through something difficult, I assume the world should automatically know that I’m struggling and should comfort me. In reality my family probably doesn’t even know I’m having an issue most of the time.

There were a few occasions where I felt that my mother was being less than caring during a low point in my life but I found that once I opened up and told her how I felt about it, our relationship improved. Have you tried talking to them about how they make you feel?

Lonelyheart807's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217…she knows. I told her. And all she went on about was how my sister wasn’t feeling well because of her time of the month…

I am less than nothing to my family.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

For some illness interferes with our charm. Some hero’s say bring it one and are their for us.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

@Lonelyheart807 I understand. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Feeling abandoned is awful.

johnpowell's avatar

What is your problem? And by that I mean what do you feel you need to be comforted about?

Is it cancer? Is it Bobby ignored you at lunch?

My sisters 16 year old daughter asked me to get all the Twilight movies for her since her BF broke up with her. I did it, but I didn’t care. I was dumped when I was 16 too and I survived.

Unless it is Cancer or homelessness you need to accept that your family giving a shit is a luxury. And if you still live at home you need to accept that your parents could be stressed the fuck out about how to keep a roof over your head and pop-tarts in your belly.

I’m all for people caring. But unless money is involved and you have none you can work through this.

Adagio's avatar

I think that ultimately, we are alone. No matter how many people draw us close, and love us, and surround us with support, we are still ultimately alone. No one else can feel our pain, be it physical or emotional. People can empathise, some have even been through a very similar situation, but this one belongs to us. I don’t say this to make you feel worse, I’m just expressing how I feel about such things.

kritiper's avatar

Because, in those times, it seems the whole world is using you as it’s own personal pissing post.

Lonelyheart807's avatar

Lost my first job ever a year ago. Laid off from one of my part time jobs about a month ago. Still was trying to be upbeat about stuff while struggling to make ends meet. Found a tutoring job two weeks ago that looked promising and now I’m not getting any hours. One’s self-esteem can only take so much.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Well. Your Fluther family hasn’t abandoned you.

I don’t have any great advice. But I offer my support.

Peace n love.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Why in our lowest moments do we feel alone?
Because sometimes it takes a failure to motivate one to get up and do for themselves as parents have done that when one was a child, but as an adult one learns to rely on oneself more and gets up from disasters and carry’s on.

That is how one gets strong not only for oneself but for others as in life you may become the strong parent of a child that needs this too.
You are being prepared for life struggles and successes.
Get out of the ashes of despair and know that you are learning how to be in charge of your own life now.
Being alone is not bad sometimes that is the best time to reconstruct your future to obtain and go after what you really want out of life.
These failures are pointing out to you that you are heading in the wrong direction perhaps?
Maybe a life coach may help your determine what it is that you should be striving for instead?
Bad things are sometimes good things that enable one to look into their direction and change course.
Being surrounded and coddled does little to get one motivated in fact it makes the person feel good for the moment but then also makes them feel like a child looking for someone else to take charge.
Determine what would make you feel in charge of your life direction and to where it is that you should direct your attentions too.
If not happy in what you are doing then determine the why?
Usually that’s when insight into your own feelings will allow one to look further into the future as to what possibilities are possible.
Maybe a change in direction,place or crowd is needed?
Good luck , as life can be hard but it does not have to be with the right attitude.
Go forward not backward. Stop looking at your failures ( but learn from them) and look at your success’s.
You did it once you can do it again.
I did not get stronger by relying on others to carry me, but by carrying my load myself.

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