General Question

imrainmaker's avatar

How do you react when people try to judge without knowing much about you?

Asked by imrainmaker (8070points) 1 month ago

Will you react differently if the same criticism comes from someone you know closely?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

I correct them.

seawulf575's avatar

I’m not really interested in gaining approval of complete strangers. I don’t care and have more important things to spend my energy on. If a close friend comments on one of my behaviors, I tend to take it more seriously since it isn’t judgement but concern or caring they are expressing.

janbb's avatar

I’m usually unaware if people are judging me or not.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Living your life trying to win the approval of others is miserable. The only person you should be trying to impress is yourself.

imrainmaker's avatar

There’s no question of winning someone / taking approval for anything. My question is how do you react to such incidents.

kritiper's avatar

I understand that it’s par for the course. A norm. Standard operating procedure.
Generally speaking, society judges without knowing or caring about all of the important details of an issue, and will therefore jump to a conclusion.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Judge judge judge. We all judge. Anyone who doesn’t has no opinion about anything.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

People usually have a hard time figuring me out so it’s actually interesting to see what types of conclusions people appear arrive at. I have yet to do that myself.

ragingloli's avatar

With indifference. Especially here.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Having a condition which is severe, but difficult to identify means over years people have treated me as lazy, a whiner, someone playing for attention. It is awfully tough to take, especially since I fight harder than most to overcome as best I can.
When people ask me “what’s wrong with you?” it bugs me a lot. When children ask what’s that, and point to my crutches, I am pleased to explain. The difference? Adults asking me what’s wrong with me are basically expecting to validate myself. The children curious about my crutches are concerned for me. They see there is some sort of struggle, and they want to know about it; does it hurt, will it happen to everybody sometime, can I get better.

So, judgey bugs me. A desire for understanding, I am okay with.

imrainmaker's avatar

Thanks for sharing @Patty_Melt

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Yeah it does mean a bit different when it comes from someone close to me.
The general public is self centred, me first at all costs,ego maniacs, beyond stupid in most cases anyways,so it doesn’t bother me much at what they perceive of me, oh wait did I just judge them?

janbb's avatar

^^ Haha! I think you just may have!

YARNLADY's avatar

I usually judge them right back as being thoughtless and ignorant.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Isn’t that what I just said??^

YARNLADY's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Yes, I am agreeing with you.

Demosthenes's avatar

Yes, I would react differently. Criticism from a close friend or family member means more to me than from someone I barely know. In general, I tend to dismiss criticism from people I barely know. That doesn’t necessarily mean that what they say must be wrong, but I just don’t care. If it is someone I would like to get to know better, in that case I might correct them and help them know more about me.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

If the person is a stranger or someone who doesn’t know me well, I say “I’d like you to leave,” “Who the **** are you?,” “Mind your own business,” or something equally belligerent. I like to think of myself as a peaceable individual, and I dislike conflict, but I won’t tolerate inappropriate intrusions. Pretentious judgments are a form of bullying; who appreciates being bullied?

If the individual does know me, and if I respect the person’s opinions and insights, I’ll take the judgment seriously and discuss it.

ucme's avatar

Pay them no more attention than a passing fart, or…laugh long & loud at them until hiccups happen.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Actually, I like the laugh part of that. ^

ucme's avatar

It’s rude to point, behave yourself :D

Patty_Melt's avatar

So sorry. It’s my upbringing.

snowberry's avatar

How do I react? I don’t delete my account! I’m so used to being judged here I don’t know what it would be like any other way.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Guilty
Guilty
Not guilty
Guilty
Not guilty by reason of insanity
Guilty
Guilty
Guilty of insanity

flo's avatar

Maybe an example of an incident would help.

snowberry's avatar

Very few people know very much about me at all, yet they think they know everything. And that’s just for starters.

I’ve had so many instances of being judged, flamed, baited, etc. that I finally started to record them on my profile page. Unfortunately I’ve run out of space at this point, or the list on my profile would be longer. Anyway the point is if you’re going to judge me, call me names, or whatever, I will check my list (and if you really press me I will come up with the full list for you). If your insult is original, I’ll put it up on my profile page. Otherwise I will send you back to come up with a better insult because the last one was already taken. No plagiarizing!

imrainmaker's avatar

@snowberry – lol…) Just a thought.. receiving online insults even though it is directed at you might be less severe because of hidden identity. Something done in person / on the face is much be more painful.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I ignore them.

However, if some one who actually knows me offers up a criticism, and I know them to be a trust worthy, non-emotional person, I pay attention. Like, Rarebear told me I talk too much here! So I’m trying to cut back.

imrainmaker's avatar

^You don’t have to do that over here!! We can ignore if we want..)~

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t want you to ignore me! So I write short stufffs now. Short simple stuffs.

snowberry's avatar

@imrainmaker I’ve received plenty of in-person insults. I’m pretty good at dealing with them too.

In either situation, I found that it’s best to have a very healthy sense of humor, and never take an insult seriously. It irritates my opponent, and if nothing else I get a laugh or two. I can’t remember the last time I had more fun than on the recent racist Christian question.

ucme's avatar

See, I never see them as insults, more pathetic ramblings of a weak minded dullard who either i’ve offended or lacks the intellect to grasp nuanced satire.

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