How to not give a damn about the things that worry us?
I generally am a control freak and sometimes I find myself in a worrying situation as it cannot be controlled. This thing haunts me until there is a solution. As might be expected I need to wait until the solution comes its own way. In the meantime I make myself miserable. Because of that I cannot make the most of the day or throughout the day. I know that I need to change this immediately. Actually tried it. I failed each of the time and that did a slow burn.
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22 Answers
Easiest answer, with less easy execution; live in the moment.
You have no control over both the past and the future.
Leave them be.
Read some Thich Nhat Hanh.
Ask yourself, can I change this or not? Upon introspection, most people find they can only changr themselves and their perceptions and feelings about something.
Start saying the Serenity Prayer whenever you get anxious:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
A wise person some time ago told me to recognize the anxiety and say to myself, “Oh, that’s just my anxiety talking.” When I ca do that, it is helpful. On the other hand, for me, sometimes thinking things through and having a plan B is very useful in reducing the anxiety so it’s a balancing act.
Meditation and mindfulness are helpful.
Another thought I have is that talking to close friends that I trust often gives me insight and perspective. I never let anyone tell me what to do but getting input helps. Of course, you don’t want to overburden friends with all your misshegas (craziness) but it does help cut through the fog at times.
You mention control issues.
I’m not a control freak, but, I have developed an individuality aspect to my life, being so self reliant, I could not ask for help if I were gunshot in an alley.
In either case, trust is an issue.
Trust is very difficult to develop when you haven’t used any for a long time. However, for survival, trust is absolutely necessary at times. Knowing when is the big trick.
If you have ever seen the television show House, it is all about trust.
There is this brilliant diagnostician, and he never trusts the information patients give him, at least not initially. That is because he knows everyone has things about themselves they don’t want anyone to know, at the risk of death sometimes.
I got forced into trusting. I have fallen victim to a condition which leaves me deeply vulnerable, and forced to trust others to help me, to know things about me, to do things for me. This includes strangers frequently.
I hope you can find a way to develop some trust in others without being stricken as I have.
Perhaps you can make a game of it, like the show What Would You Do? Choose a situation as a test. Trust someone in some small way, with no direction from you at all.
Have a prediction thoroughly thought out. See if the outcome matches your prediction at all.
When you are confronted by an issue that needs to be resolved, you need to take a few minutes to evaluate if it is something that can be dealt with right then. If it is not, you need to evaluate what you need to do to steer things in the direction you want. After you have looked at this (you should try to spend no more than a couple minutes), put it into a mental box until such time as there is something you can do that will have an impact. Beyond that, let it go. Move on to the next issue.
Set aside a particular day and time every week and dedicate it solely to worrying about stuff. The rest of the week just try to let it go until it’s time to worry again.
I think worrying has a definite place in this world. I worry. My husband doesn’t worry about anything. If it wasn’t for me we would be financially bankrupt, but I worry.
Hi, I’m also a control freak! If you figure out the answer, let me know.
I had an ulcer at 20 years old and have worried almost constantly my entire life. To be honest, alcohol worked pretty well, when I drank more, but I would never recommend that, since it tends to mask the issue not solve it.
Maybe you should sleep more, that always seems to bring me the answers I need.
My solution, is alcohol. Before I get any guff for that, technically, alcohol is a solution…
I thought it was above average…
There is a saying…
Don’t worry. In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Be a pot head. They seem to not worry about anything.
It sounds like you might be a little bit obsessive compulsive. You should consider talking to your doctor and having them refer you to a therapist who specializes in this condition. A good therapist can give you exercises and relaxation techniques, as well as helping you to gain perspective when dealing with day to day situations and stressors big and small. Your doctor may want to prescribe medication too.
You don’t have to spend your entire life living on edge, or carrying the weight of the world around on your back.
I use the same technique @Dutchess_III mentions, but as often as necessary. I also made a promise to myself to be happy every day, and I keep my promise.
Approximately 99% of the things that one worries about never happens.
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