Social Question

syz's avatar

Men, have you polled the women in your life?

Asked by syz (35647points) October 8th, 2018

In my group of family and friends, there is not a single woman who has not experienced either sexual harassment, sexual assault, or rape – or some combination of those. I suspect most men would be shocked to find out how common that is.

The first time I was assaulted was when I was 12 years old. The first time. I have this hard, seething ball of rage inside of me, and it just keeps growing and growing in this political environment. I know I’m not alone.

It’s a private, sensitive subject that is unlikely to have come up in casual conversation. But if you truly care, I suspect you’ll get honest answers. Will you ask?

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14 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

have not “polled” the women I know, but I know that almost all of the women I know over the age of 20 have experienced it in one form or another. Much has come up in conversations.

rojo's avatar

My daughter (30) says no to assault, but then talks about harassment as “the regular crap in high school” which in and of itself says something if her generation considers harassment “regular”.
My wife (64) was assaulted (grabbing and groping) by a family member. She was totally shocked and in complete disbelief. Same family member also did it to other females in the family including the sister of my wife, her aunt and a cousins wife. Oddly, they dealt with it by never being alone in the same room with him. She had warned her sister but they were young and her sister forgot until it happened to her. She didn’t find out about the others until she was older and we were married. She was also groped by a boss when in hs/college. Again, the whole thing took her completely by surprise as the man was an old family friend. The solution, again, was to never be alone with him. She confided in a co-worker who also made sure the two were never alone even to the point of taking my wife with him when he left the store.
My mother is beyond the point of knowing anymore with the dementia but I know from an old newspaper article that when she was young two of her cousins (12 & 10) who lived close by were molested by a 53 year old neighbor who got six months for it. Shortly after his release he was re-arrested for the same crime with another child.
My MIL (93) won’t say but insists it is the womans’ fault for putting herself into that situation, dressing provocatively, drinking and the like. She firmly believes that the woman is responsible for the actions of the male. It was how she was raised. My opinion, and that is all that this is, is that it has to do with a fairly strict Methodist upbringing where the church was a major factor in her life. Her take on Dr Ford and her testimony is that the doctor is telling the truth and that Kavanaugh was the one who did it, of that she feels certain but will always finish with “but she shouldn’t have been there with those boys in the first place”.

notnotnotnot's avatar

Every woman in my life has experienced this. My sister’s abusive ex-boyfriend killed his next girlfriend (and is serving the last year of a 5-year sentence).

Men are a threat to women, period.

chyna's avatar

5 years. I’m so shocked. Unbelievable.

JLeslie's avatar

5 years! WTH?! My exboyfriend’s cousin was killed by her exboyfriend just over 30 years ago and he is still in jail.

notnotnotnot's avatar

^ Pled guilty to voluntary manslaughter.

Zaku's avatar

I haven’t polled everyone, but pretty much all of the women I’ve spoken about it with, yes.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

I am curious….has the topic come up more often recently, guys? Are any of you surprised or taken aback at this?

MrGrimm888's avatar

I have 3 sisters. All have been raped. I wasn’t around, or was way too.young when it happened. They are half sisters. They all led very different lives, and still have that in common…

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Wow. Stats call it 1 in 5 get raped. I knew they were wrong. I am so sorry…

notsoblond's avatar

“I have this hard, seething ball of rage inside of me, and it just keeps growing and growing in this political environment. I know I’m not alone.”

You are not alone. Each day I become more disgusted. I’ve let go of friends who say they don’t believe Dr. Ford. I become sick to my stomach when I see Trump’s face. I feel hopeless.

JLeslie's avatar

^^I just keep telling myself 2021 a new president will be in office.

Zaku's avatar

@Dutchess_lll I haven’t been adding enough close female acquaintances lately to assess that, but the many I do know have been #MeToo’ing and/or bringing up the subject, participating in online discussions and sharing publicly where before they were not.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

I know that I’ve shared more recently than I have in the past, and more publically than I ever dreamed I would.
But there are some things that I will never tell publically.

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