General Question

SuperMouse's avatar

Parents, what questions do you ask?

Asked by SuperMouse (30788points) August 20th, 2008

What questions do (did) all you parents ask when you are sending one of your children to a new friend’s house? For instance, do you ask about firearms, older siblings, what video games they are allowed to play?

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13 Answers

Snoopy's avatar

To be honest, I haven’t sent my kid alone to someone else’s house. I go with them. I have two toddlers.

What age of children are you thinking of when you ask this question?

SuperMouse's avatar

I had my ten year-old in mind when I asked the question.

Snoopy's avatar

I guess then, it woud depend on your kid, the other kid and the other kid’s family.

Is your kid generally responsible? Is the other kid? The other kid’s family?

I think it is your right to ask whatever questions you want to ask…..but I can tell you that if you asked me some of those questions, my responses would be polite but decidedly cool. In other words, if you asked me those questions, I would feel like you don’t think that I am responsible enought to keep any guns I might have in the home locked so that my own kids are safe, etc.

The mere asking of some of those questions would be an indictment of my parenting skills.

Overdramatic? Maybe. But I am just telling you how I would feel if you rang ME up and starting asking my those questions just b/c our kids wanted to kick a soccer ball around in the backyard…..

mzgator's avatar

I have to personally know the parents if my daughter is going to be allowed to sleep over. Not just a few questions over the phone . She is my most valuable thing in my life. I don’t take anyvrisks where she is concerned. Her best friend is the daughter of my cousin… So I have it pretty easy.

SuperMouse's avatar

This was for the afternoon. I met the mom and the other kids. I was surprised though to find out that she let the boys play a video game that is rated T (teen) because of blood and violence. My son knows he isn’t allowed to play games that are rated T, he said he didn’t play it himself, but he did watch the friend play. The whole thing just got me to thinking….

augustlan's avatar

@Snoopy: With all due respect, I will place my children’s safety and “sphere of influence” above the risk of offending an adult every single time.
To answer the question, I actually have asked about guns, but only once. My child was only 5, the mother had NRA bumper stickers plastered all over her car, and I lived in an area that was pretty “pro-gun”. I felt I had to make sure all firearms were secured. I have also rescinded visiting priveledges to friend’s homes when I’ve had serious safety concerns, and in one case because the parents kept Playboy magazines in plain sight, and saw no need to remove them because my 7 year old daughter was coming over to play. Now that my children are older (10, 12, and 14), I am less worried about how certain families handle such things, and more worried about instilling enough knowledge, common sense, and sense of responsibility in my kids for them to be able to deal with these issues as they come up.

Snoopy's avatar

@augustian: No offense taken.

I guess my point is that if you are that concerned that you have to ask…..i.e. you don’t know the family well enough to know the answers already, then I probably wouldn’t let my kid go visit.

Interestingly, if you read into what I have said enough you will probably see that I am probably going to be OVERPROTECTIVE> Again, if I feel like I have to ask the questions than the answer would be “No, you cannot go play over there….”

Also, as to the gun thing…..if someone is stupid enough to keep a gun unlocked and accessible, do you think they are stupid enough to admit to it….? My point is…..would you trust them enough not to lie? I wouldn’t…. If I felt strong enough that the parents in the other home MIGHT not use good judgement…..then I will err on the side of caution.

cyndyh's avatar

@Snoopy: Sometimes just asking the question and seeing the reaction tells you everything you need to know even if the words don’t.

My kids did a lot playing in common areas and outdoors in someone’s front yard. The did ride their bikes a lot out and about. Generally, at that age, they weren’t supposed to be in someone else’s house unless I’d met the kids, parents, and approved. I think the best often repeated question for the kids was “what are you gonna do over there that you can’t do over here?” Then you hear what the plan is. Then you talk to the parents with what the kids have said in mind.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

i’m still just a kid.

DevilDiva's avatar

I usually send my two kids together. One is 11, the other is 14. I figure the 14 yr. old is old enough to watch her brother. Usually, they are at my lover’s house hanging out with his son. I can trust my lover to watch my children. The only thing that I ask from him is to call me if there is any blood shed. That is the only thing I worry about with my two monsters. Other than that, they are good kids.

Mugsie's avatar

Hi Devil, I never let my kids go over someones house without me, unless I know them well, really well, which is fine, cause most of us parents enjoy the play date too LOL!

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

When they were in grade school and were invited for after school play dates, I used to ask if a parent would be home, or would they be supervised by an older sibling, and were there firearms in the house.

A friend had an incident where an older boy (19) was in charge after school and he and a friend showed his younger brother and my friend’s son (age 10) how to find porno on the computer, and gave them a beer. (This was an upper middle class neighborhood, parochial school household. Not that that really means anything about character.)

Bri_L's avatar

removed by me. it was already said

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