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Whitecoyote's avatar

What to do when feeling fear and it doesn't stop?

Asked by Whitecoyote (116points) 3 weeks ago

I feel fear, numb, anxiety, depressed and overwhelmed. I have questions you see, in my head and since it isn’t normal to ask anything to know whats going on when talked to in my household and left to be confused sometimes other things I wish I knew what to do when I have panic attacks or what to do with the never ending confusion and fear and numbness. Is there something I should know? think? feel and can do for the pain I experience and don’t know why or how to make go away?

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15 Answers

kritiper's avatar

Go to the best hamburger joint in town, order up 2 large burgers with the works including cheese, a large order of fries, and a large chocolate milkshake. After you’ve eaten all that, you will feel better.

Whitecoyote's avatar

I don’t understand…and I don’t want food and live at home with my parents..I don’t drive…eating wouldn’t make me feel better…but the thought of being able to ask questions and know what is going on and never do anything wrong again and know what is wrong would make me feel at peace…I’m sure…

snowberry's avatar

Sweetie, it’s reallly hard to answer to these questions. We are not there with you, and we cannot observe how you interact with people or your environment. What I have been able to pick up so far is that you’re really anxious and sometimes you do things that you don’t have any explanation for, and then you get in trouble for it.

Is that correct?

josie's avatar

Exercise.

Or, Make sure the magazine in my M9 is full

Whitecoyote's avatar

I interact with politeness and respect and peaceful and say when something seems wrong all of a sudden I mean no trouble or harm before having to leave the room and can only feel grief and confusion and don’t know what to say or think or feel or do…I don’t do things I don’t have explanations for…I’m saying when my mom tells me I have done something I didn’t know that was happening and learned something new without learning…I learned years ago you don’t ask questions to your mother…its bad behavior…I get in trouble for saying certain things…like when I was asked what I wanted at the store the next time it was shopping time and said I don’t know…healthy food if possible…thats bad behavior….but I don’t know why and had to leave her room when I said I didn’t know what she was saying when I was told I had done something wrong… :’(

kritiper's avatar

Goes on like a speed freak.

kritiper's avatar

The excessive fear you are experiencing is abnormal. Life is full of dangers and there isn’t much that can be done about it except to live defensively. Be aware in everything you do but don’t fear. It is counterproductive.
This is how I look at life, to a certain extent: The Grim Reaper is out there and he has a reaping/accounting notepad. Sometimes, things happen, and he has no name on his list. A person was careless, got killed or other, and the Reaper got a victim. A random victim. No body in particular, just some fool.
And sometimes the Reaper has a certain person’s name on his list. That person’s number is up and the victim can do nothing to stop the inevitable from occurring.
Don’t be the random fool! Be aware in everything you do but don’t freak out!
And don’t worry about your number being up at any particular time in your life. If the Reaper wants you, you are his. No point in worrying about it.
Such is life. Such is death. Get used to it.

snowberry's avatar

The way you describe your mothers behavior is not normal. It is difficult for me to understand because you tend to ramble when you describe your situation (repeat yourself, run on sentences, etc.), but it almost sounds like your mom might be the one with the larger problem and she’s trying to give you more problems,

janbb's avatar

Speak to a counselor at school or at a clinic. You need more help than we can give.

Zaku's avatar

“when I was asked what I wanted at the store the next time it was shopping time and said I don’t know…healthy food if possible…thats bad behavior….but I don’t know why and had to leave her room when I said I didn’t know what she was saying when I was told I had done something wrong…”

This example shows your mother reacting defensively, taking “healthy food if possible” as a criticism even though you have no idea why she is doing that – you only know it’s evidently “bad” as far as she is concerned, and you are accepting this like a truth you just understand. When you try to explain that, she just escalates.

You are not the source of your problems. It’s your parents, and probably their parents before them, and so on, who have a lot of unresolved issues which have not been getting attention since long before you were born.

Parents who behave like that are almost certainly not going to improve (without major intervention).

My advice is to think about what you will need to do before you will be able to move out of that house. Will they send you away to college, or can you get a job that will let you move out and be on your own? Try to focus on a plan for that, and meanwhile know that your parents are disturbed and you can’t fix that. You probably just need to keep avoiding conflicts with them as best you can, but try to understand that their behavior is not an appropriate response to you. I think you need to get away from them and try to find more emotionally healthy people to be around, and people who can help you work through such issues – good supportive therapists.

Whitecoyote's avatar

Thank you for answering my question and giving me greater understanding in this situation..someone had said I sounded schizophrenic and that it was possible that was what was happening…I hope not. Though they started saying other strange things to me that made no sense and I guess that’s neither here nor there…
I hope to be able to reach out to a counselor at some point and hopefully they can help me out. I just want to be able to talk with someone and that is the first step to my health and I’m happy to do what is right for me as soon as I can.
Thank you for telling me the truth and getting to me to see I have got the right perspective on being confused for a reason and need to get out when I can.
I will try to stay out of trouble as much as I can and find ways to create emotional and mental health exercises for myself when things seem bad.

Whitecoyote's avatar

I must be bad at talking because Im really not good at explaining myself…I don’t realize I have repeated myself or whatever a ramble is..I only know this is a place to ask a question or questions and explain what is going on and I did…I did my best and I guess it was written okay enough to read.

Although Im confused about one persons words about not being afraid of life..I haven’t been and have only been confused and felt fear when talked to a certain way…I must not have been able to convey that well with some people and I think thats why people could be confused..
But this world is not something that I take as normal too, its not something Im used to and I have been slowly getting to know it more and more..Im a star seed you see so many things that happen here are really different and somehow more extreme.

Zaku's avatar

I can understand most of what you are writing. You don’t sound schizophrenic to me. It seems to me that (as you just wrote) it is a bit challenging for you sometimes to express all of this to others, which is understandable. But it can be hard to read, and since people here have just met you, the way you have written some of this may seem to some people like you have some problems that may just be because of the way you wrote some things.

Being raised by unbalanced parents who behave as you have described, can be quite confusing and disorienting and can make their children question themselves a lot. Especially when you are still in regular contact with them, and particularly when you are living with them.

Again, if I were you, I would try to focus on what you can do to get your own place to live, and a source of income so you can be as independent from them as you can.

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