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JLeslie's avatar

What do you regret?

Asked by JLeslie (61539points) December 3rd, 2018 from iPhone

What’s the regret most forefront in your mind lately?

Mine is not going to an orthodontist the day after my dentist screwed up a bond on one of my teeth. I knew my teeth were shifting to accommodate the badly don’t bond, and now my smile is completely different (I’m very unhappy) and I allowed a periodontist to file some teeth to alleviate the discomfort, and not I might not be able to utilize braces to fix my smile, because the filing might mean my teeth won’t meet if I move my teeth back into place. I still cannot close my mouth comfortable.

I didn’t go to the orthodontist originally out of weakness and cheapness. I listened to others (some professionals some friends and family) instead of what I knew to be true. It feels like a big price to pay right now.

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42 Answers

LadyMarissa's avatar

I have NO regrets!!! That’s not to say IF given the chance to do it all over again that I would make the same choices as the first time; however, given the information I had at the time I originally did it, I had made the best choice at that moment!!!

For years I wished that I hadn’t married my abusive ex; but, life has shown me that had I not married him, been abused by him, & divorced him, that I would have NEVER met my last husband who, in my opinion, was the absolute BEST thing that ever happened to me!!! So, I can NO longer regret marrying the original jackass!!!

elbanditoroso's avatar

When I was in my 20s, I should have stayed with (and probably married) my girlfriend (let’s call her ‘H’) at the time.

We broke up, I married, I divorced, and here we are today.

I regret that ‘H’ and I never married. Too late now.

LadyMarissa's avatar

^ What you don’t know is how your life would have turned out IF you had stayed with H. You might still be divorced & wishing that you had stayed with J.

I was engaged at 16. My parents threw a hissy fit & refused to let us get married. Then I caught him cheating on me & I ended up moving over 500 miles away. I married, got divorced He got married, had 2 children, she passed away. I moved back home & we got back together only to find that there was NOTHING left between us!!! Plus, you do NOT know for sure that it’s too late!!! Have you even tried to go on a date with her??? Maybe you should call her to ask her out to dinner. It’s NEVER too late until one of you draws your final breath!!!

elbanditoroso's avatar

@LadyMarissa – well, in my case it’s too late – she’s happily married and she lives 7000 miles away. Unlikely our paths will ever cross again.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I don’t really have any regrets so to speak, but I do wish I’d make different choices in regards to a few things and people.

@elbanditoroso I have a similar situation but in all honesty, I probably would have been miserable even though my heart tells me I should have stayed.

mazingerz88's avatar

I regret not learning stock investment in 2000 when co-workers told me to. Only started in 2009 and missed a chance of making serious money.

cookieman's avatar

Exactly what @LadyMarissa said:

I have NO regrets!!! That’s not to say IF given the chance to do it all over again that I would make the same choices as the first time; however, given the information I had at the time I originally did it, I had made the best choice at that moment!!!

I repeat this almost verbatim to my wife on a pretty regular basis.

She has regrets. I hope I am not one of them.

filmfann's avatar

I am full of self-loathing, so I have lots of regret.
One I will share is wasted love towards someone who had no interest in a long term relationship.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@filmfann That’s so sad.

josie's avatar

Trying to think of something. Not coming up with anything.

ucme's avatar

Not a goddamm mothafuckin ting…
Although attempting to speak gangsta comes pretty close.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@ucme Minus the language, that was a good one, make me laugh! :)

Mariah's avatar

I kinda wish I had just gotten an ileostomy (1 surgery) when I got my colon removed instead of a j-pouch (3 surgeries, but I get to keep all my guts inside me). Those extra surgeries did a number on me, and really the only argument against the ostomy is a body-image one. I could have learned to deal with that. Plus I ended up having a diagnosis change which meant that I will probably someday experience j-pouch failure, at which point I’ll need to have ANOTHER surgery and just get an ostomy anyway.

No way I could have known all this at the time. A 19 year old girl doesn’t want a bag of poop strapped to her stomach for the rest of her life. I don’t beat up younger-me for the decisions she made.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Always, I wonder if divorcing my first husband was the right thing to do. Not for my sake, but for the kid’s. I think it was, but I think how different everyone’s life would be if I hadn’t. Would it have been better for the kids, or worse? It hurts me that I may have hurt my kids.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

A friend/co-worker was engaged. One day, I went into work to find out that he, the asst. mgr., and the front office manager had been fired. No explanation was given as to why, just that our help was needed to cover until they were replaced.

I stayed in touch with my friend and his fiancée. We didn’t speak of the termination.

Before their wedding, I found out what it was about; my friend and the front office manager were in one of the meeting rooms together in a sexual position. The person in charge of cleaning it walked in on them and reported it.

I attended the wedding, and felt guilty the whole time for not saying something in advance or for not standing up to protest.

Fifteen years later: I was still with the same company working at the corporate office and my friend was working as an executive at a franchise company. He had divorced wife #1 and was with wife #2 and their two children. He called and asked if I could come conduct a training workshop for his group of hotels. It was arranged, and then he invited me to dinner at his house. I met wife #2 who looked like she could be the sister of wife #1.

A couple of years later, I got a call from wife #1. She was remarried and her new husband worked for the company. We caught up, and I asked her what happened with my friend and her. She said that all was good for the first year, but he started to pressure her to have a baby. She said that she wasn’t ready. Then he shut down and started treating her cruelly.

I asked her if she knew why he had been fired before their wedding. She said “no”.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

You did the right thing @Pied_Pfeffer.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

By not telling the fiancée before the wedding and not standing up to object at the wedding? I’m not sure.

augustlan's avatar

I have things I wish I’d handled differently (and for sure wish I’d never started smoking), but generally no regrets. Everything that’s happened in my life has made me who I am today, and I’m pretty happy with that.

I do sort of regret that I didn’t fully appreciate my physical abilities more when I had them. Who knew my body was going to be such a lemon? Even this, though, is part of who I am. Living with foreknowledge of future pain and physical decline would have changed the trajectory of my life.

AshLeigh's avatar

After a large earthquake struck close to home on Friday, and the fear that followed (I thought for six minutes that my husband was badly hurt or dead. I knew he was at work in a dangerous environment and I knew the earthquake was far worse for him. It was the longest six minutes of my life before he finally called me back) I regret the grudges I held. I spent too long being angry at him over things that have happened.

There were good reasons to be angry, but I know now that you work through it, or you leave. You don’t stay and be miserable, making the other person miserable. It’s been years now and we’re in a good place, but I regret that I wasted so much of our time on pettiness and childish things. I feel beyond blessed to have more time to spend being happy.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I regret that I stayed in toxic relationships for so long even when they were slowly destroying my well-being. I was so desperate for a friend that I would trade my self-worth for someone who would love me. I believed that being myself made people hate me so I faked my identity to get love.

Luckily I found people here on Fluther who are willing to love me for who I am. They give me strength and reason to kick the horrible people out of my life. My only regret is that I didn’t kick them out sooner. They have left some cruel damage that I’m still recovering from.

Stache's avatar

I regret not calling my parents and grandparents more often.

raum's avatar

I regret not buying the Deadpool chia pet that I saw at Target the other day.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer, if you had said something there is a good chance you would have made two enemies. People are funny like that, especially when you tell them something they don’t want to hear.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer You really did do the right thing Had you told her about him before the wedding, she would have turned on you like a momma bear with her cubs beside her!!! Everything would have become YOUR fault & neither would consider you a friend now. Sometimes it is best to remain quiet & allow life to follow its own path. Had you told her, he would have lied to her & she would have believed him over you!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^ Exactly.

I had the husband of a good friend make a heavy pass at me once. I debated whether or not to tell her, then decided not. I figured I wouldn’t be the last time he’d do it and it would get back to her eventually.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

I have no regret. I am more of a carpe diem person. I have learned that it’s useless to care about what had already happened, it’s more important and interesting to keep on moving forward and enjoy your current dynamics. Plus, there are always other alternatives when you didn’t get what you want so there’s never a room for regret.

LadyMarissa's avatar

I made the mistake of telling my friend that her guy was with another woman the night before he ask her to marry him. She went off on me like a crazy person!!! She even accused me of being jealous of the wonderful relationship that they had going. After laughing my butt off, I wished her a marriage as wonderful as the relationship. They did get married. In the middle of their honeymoon, he went out for cigarettes & beer & she didn’t see him again for 2 weeks. Still, she continued to defend him!!! She remained blind & ignorant UNTIL she came home from work & walked into their bedroom & actually caught him in bed with her sister. That turned into her A-HA moment!!!

KNOWITALL's avatar

I lost my best friend over a similar situation as @LadyMarissa.

My bf was still seeing her ex while planning marriage to a mutual friend. I knew and when he asked me directly, I told him the truth. They got married, had kids, got divorced ten years later.

She never has admitted she shouldn’t have married him to this day.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah. It’s really tricky dealing with that kind of emotion. I think it’s really best to mind your own business unless, like @KNOWITALL, they come to you directly. Then you tell the truth.
That is why I think you did the right thing @Pied_Pfeffer.

Jeruba's avatar

Too much. Too much.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I regret buying these Egglett things.

raum's avatar

@Dutchess_III That’s fascinating.

Seems totally unnecessary…yet genius…yet messed up for some reason. And I can’t exactly decide why. LOL

Dutchess_III's avatar

Are you talking about my Eggletts, @raum? I was thinking that if they worked right they’d help stream line the creation of 30 plus deviled eggs I make for various function a few times a year. But they didn’t work right. They suck. Well….. Not totally. I’m going to poke some pin holes in them, call them bug catchers and throw them in the toy box.

LadyMarissa's avatar

^ I tried giving mine away & nobody would take them…bug catchers…hmmmm!!!

I use my Instant Pot to boil my eggs. You should be able to cook 30 eggs in less than 15 minutes & they peel so easy that they would be perfect for deviling!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I guess I kind of need one of those.

LadyMarissa's avatar

^ Well, mine isn’t the Instant Pot brand…it’s a Cosori but they work about the same. THE IP is expensive compared to other brands & they all work just about the same. It’s kind of like the difference between a Crock Pot & all the other slow cookers. The actual cooking time for hard boiled eggs is about 8 minutes with a 5 minute getting up to pressure before cooking. That’s why I say in under 15 minutes. Peeling boiled eggs one handed is frustrating. I cook them in my electric pressure cooker & I have NO problem peeling them except the occasional time the egg slides out too easy & I can’t catch it!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I will look that up….

Dutchess_III's avatar

Roasts normally simmers for hours and hours in the crock pot, and isn’t it that long cooking time that makes them so good? Are they just as good coming from an Instapot?

JLeslie's avatar

I bought an instant pot a month ago and I’ve been wondering if I am going to regret it. I’ve been debating returning it. I bought a brisket yesterday that I could make in my instant put if I want to make my final decision and use it.

I also bought an IPhone XR and I think I regret it. My right hand and tricep are killing me. Debating today whether to return it and lose some money. I might ask a Q about it.

Mariah's avatar

We were given an instant pot as a gift and love it! Never had a pressure cooker before. It lets you do meals you’d normally do in a slow cooker but fast. We make a mean pulled pork and mashed potatoes in our instant pot.

JLeslie's avatar

^^That makes me feel better. I guess I’ll give it a try.

What’s the pulled pork recipe?

Mariah's avatar

We just get like a 2.5 pound roast, – sometimes the pre-marinated ones but it doesn’t really matter either way – cut into pieces, brown the outside in some oil, then chuck in the instant pot submerged in vegetable broth for about….I forget if it’s an hour or 1.5 hour. We usually throw some diced garlic and onion in with it. When it’s done it shreds really easily and then we coat it in a whole bunch of our favorite BBQ sauce. Done!

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