General Question

chelle21689's avatar

Are these signs he will be proposing soon?

Asked by chelle21689 (6987points) 2 months ago

We’ve been together 7 years and have lived together for almost 2. Before moving in together, I told him I wanted to eventually get married and gave him my timeline and he told me I didn’t have to wait long. Last year, a ton of our family members seem to have been getting engaged from my cousin, my sister, his sister, his aunt, etc. That led to all the weddings being this year, so it’s been chaotic. Not to mention his grandparents both passed away this year.

Despite his grandma passing in October, he’s been talking a lot more about marriage and kids and I think maybe signs of proposing? I’m not sure, what do you think?

1. He randomly told me that he wanted a diaper party when we have a kid.
2. During discussion of weddings and rings among our married friends, he would bring up what type of wedding we both wanted and then asked how to find a ring size.
3. He asked me if I wanted to marry him still.
4. He usually doesn’t acknowledge diamond ring commercials but it was on the other day and he was jokingly asking if I wanted diamonds.
5. He pointed out these cute baby clothes section in a magazine and showed me. Jokingly saying we should get it right now for the future to use.
6. He asked me if I was still ready for kids by the age I gave him a couple years ago.

I was thinking of bringing it up again in conversation to confirm my expectation that we will be engaged in the next few months instead of wondering and waiting. We have the holiday, a huge family vacation coming up, our birthdays, so I feel like if he were to do it, he’s waiting for that moment because he’s that type.

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17 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

They could be signs or hints, but for all of us it is just guesswork. We don’t know either of you. It could just as easily be a big elaborate fake to drive you insane.

I have an idea. Ask him. Not straight out, but with a little tact. Or maybe muy a copy of Weddings Magazine and leave it on the kitchen table.

chyna's avatar

Of course I have no way of knowing, but it sounds like it to me.
I did ask my boyfriend at the time, turned husband, if we were heading towards marriage because I wanted to know what to expect. There is nothing wrong in asking.

chelle21689's avatar

@chyna Was it an answer you wanted to hear at the time? Like did he say 4 years but you wanted 1, for example?

chyna's avatar

He said yes, he planned on asking me to marry him. There was no time limit set, but this conversation happened in October and he asked me 2 months later at Christmas.
We got married the following year.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sounds like it to me, maybe a NY’s proposal?! Just sit back and enjoy the anticipation, and be nice to him, he could be stressed. Good luck.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Sounds like a high chance to me. I’m not the one to ask him about that and ruined his (probably) planned surprises. It’s best to let him one day declare his well-thought, serious intention and surprise you with it, he would like to think that he’s man who will give you the happy news.

chelle21689's avatar

I won’t get my hopes up but if it doesn’t happen over the holidays I’ll have to bring up the conversation again lol. Like you all said, he could be hinting or he could be just driving me crazy for no reason.

anniereborn's avatar

You could always ask him to marry you.

JLeslie's avatar

Sounds like he will, my money is on he is going to propose, but I’m always wary when it takes this long for a guy to propose. I probably shouldn’t put anything negative out there though.

chelle21689's avatar

@JLeslie You brought it up so now I want to hear your input.

JLeslie's avatar

No real input, I just see a lot of marriages fail within two years that take so long to happen. It’s like they date so long that finally it’s at the point to get married or break up, and they get married, and then they break up.

I do have a set of friends who have been married over 25 years who dated for 8 years before getting married, so it’s not always the case, but they both weren’t in a hurry to get married. I’m sure they will be together forever. They are a united force.

I’m not inside of your relationship, and I don’t know your boyfriend, so I could be way off.

chelle21689's avatar

@JLeslie I actually asked a question like that on another board. “Why do long-term couples divorce shortly after marriage.” I got some really interesting responses about how there were always underlying issues or they think the other person would change.

I don’t think we were ready to get married even at year 4.. maybe engaged at year 5 lol. We weren’t making as much money as we wanted but we’re okay now, and it’s good to live together prior to marriage. So I wouldn’t have been ready until we lived together for a while which we’ve done now.

JLeslie's avatar

@chelle21689 I think that’s a good sign that you both weren’t ready and now both feel ready. It usually breaks up quickly when there were already a lot of red flags, and very often it’s very young couples who practically grew up together. Not that I see anything wrong with marrying a sweetheart from high school, I have a few friends who did just that and are still married 25 years later. All of them got married shortly after graduating college.

I just mean young people are more likely to stay without evaluatung a relationship in terms of adulthood responsibilities, and then they reach adulthood, and even if the match isn’t very good, they don’t break up, because so much time is invested in the relationship, and they can’t imagine being without the person. Plus, breaking up can be devastatingly painful, and it’s hard to go through it.

You seem very responsible, and living together is a good way to see how the compatibility is going. Maybe he will propose on Christmas?

chelle21689's avatar

@JLeslie I think we make a great team, we laugh, we annoy each other sometimes lol, we don’t fight often but like every couple there is a disagreement but its resolved. We are very attracted still physically although we gained a little eight from 8 years ago but we take care of ourselves.

Our family is taking a big trip to Thailand for Christmas and New Year, we’ve never done this so maybe? I was asking this question because I didn’t know whether to bring up conversation again. I’d like to know.

Someone earlier suggested proposing. Although women are allowed to propose and its ok, I feel more often than not, women are usually always willing to say yes and it takes the man time to be ready so I feel like he should be the one to ask. He is a bit of old school in that department as well.

JLeslie's avatar

I personally wouldn’t bring it up again right now. He’s giving signs he is going to do it, so give him the chance to do it. You have Christmas and a special trip coming up, so maybe he has something planned.

I also wouldn’t ask him to marry you, and in general I wouldn’t take that away from the man’s role, except in specific situations.

chelle21689's avatar

@JLeslie Thanks for the input lol.

JLeslie's avatar

Sure. Not that I’m any authority on these things. Just me babbling off the top of my head.

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