General Question

rockfan's avatar

Does anyone else feel anxious when around extremely calm people?

Asked by rockfan (9368points) 6 days ago from iPhone

Whenever I go to a bustling cafe or coffee shop, I find it easier to relax when it’s loud and busy, even if a group of people are talking loud next to me. But if I’m sitting next to someone who’s sitting still and seems to not have a worry in the world, I feel like pulling my hair out.

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14 Answers

rojo's avatar

I am just the opposite. Their calm nature has a soothing, calming effect on me.

JLeslie's avatar

The only time calm bothers me is when the situation calls for some sort of reaction or urgency. The calm from the other person can feel passive aggressive, condescending, and judgmental.

In a coffee shop if it’s very quiet, or too quiet, it can be annoying if I need or want to make some noise. Low level background noise helps cover up other noises. Moreover, sudden noises are less loud if there is noise in the room already.

I like quiet-ish restaurants and coffee shops. Especially restaurants, I hate when it’s very loud. I like to eat in relative peace and be able to talk to the people I’m with, if I’m with anyone. I go out dancing or to concerts to be in a loud place, and even then I might have earplugs in.

Stache's avatar

Loud and busy makes me anxious.

rojo's avatar

I once got a job as a project manager because the person who was in the position before me was too calm, cool and collected for the company owner. Not that he didn’t take care of the problems, he did. He just didn’t get excited about it. The owner wanted someone who hollered and cussed and emoted.

I faked it until I got a different job.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Another opposite, most of the time. I can only handle frenetic energy in small doses. Are you a knee bouncer? Lol. My friend has ADHD and cant be calm, he doesnt put out a bad vibe though.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Zaku's avatar

I’m more like @rojo. I find relaxed people more relaxing.

LostInParadise's avatar

I get anxious at a cafe if the background noise is too high, or if there is some loudmouth who I can hear above everyone else. I would also be anxious if nobody was talking and it was really quiet. In general, being around relaxed people makes me feel relaxed.

seawulf575's avatar

I guess I make people (bosses) nervous at work because I don’t get stressed too easily. I was once accused of being too “country club”. When asked what that meant, I was told that I was seen as not taking things seriously and not reacting to them. This was from a new manager that had been over me for a couple months and this is what he was told before he took the position. I asked him, now that he had been my boss for a couple months if he agreed with that assessment. He said he didn’t. He said I just don’t get upset by much. If there is some crisis at work and everyone is getting amped up, I am calm and just deal with the issues. My current boss has also recognized this in me…when times get tough and everyone is running around, I’m just fixing things. So I guess the calmness I have makes people upset, though I don’t know why.

Pinguidchance's avatar

Just tell everyone it’s alopecia.

cookieman's avatar

I too am the opposite. Nervous, jittery, chatty people make me want to jump out a window. I try to get away from them as fast as possible.

My daughter went through a stage like that a few years back and I considered selling her. :^)

rockfan's avatar

Didn’t realize that I couldn’t use the phrase “lol yep” on here. Seems inconsistent that Knowitall can use “lol” but doesn’t get moderated.

But yes, I’m definitely a knee bouncer, and it drives my relatives crazy, especially during thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I guess it would depend on the situation. Nowadays people are pretty calm all the time because they’re always staring at their phone. That annoys me just because it annoys me.

answerbag's avatar

Your case is funny and interesting.

Probably your brain is super active and when you are around noise places you can finally get distracted cause your brain will have to focus in more than one thing (what will lead to automate the noises and movements making it sound like one) but when you are alone doesn’t has how to distracted so you just focus on everything.

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