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Jeruba's avatar

How would you spell the way you sneeze?

Asked by Jeruba (51917points) January 7th, 2019

Come on, let’s have a graphic rendition, phonetically. Nearest approximation will do.

My hay-fever sneezes are pretty controlled: Ckkh! Ckkh! When I have a cold, they’re kind of more crashing.

My husband emits great splashy sneezes: Kzheh-KZHASHK-yeh! Wowee. Makes me want an umbrella.

My grandfather used to go Hitch! Hitch! in the middle of the night.

And I used to work with an old guy who went Ha-SHWEEZ!—the last part sounding like a high-pitched whistle. He did one of those every morning around 9:00. My boss said, “That’s Mr. S’s morning prayer.”


Tags as I wrote them: sneezes, phonetics, sound effects, novelty, grapefruit.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

janbb's avatar

I need to sneeze so I can hear it. Quick! where’s the pepper?

rebbel's avatar


canidmajor's avatar


They can hear me three states over. I finally, in my 30s, realized I can’t do anything about it, so I’m not embarrassed anymore.

Jeruba's avatar

@canidmajor, so you wouldn’t be interested in a book entitled How to Change the Way You Sneeze? I’ve always secretly hoped to see that title in the self-help section. I’d have liked to give a copy to Mr. S.

janbb's avatar

^^ Self-help book titles:

“Change Your Life, Change Your Sneeze”

“How to Win Friends and Sneeze Differently”

“What Color is Your Sneeze?”

“Sixty Days to a Better Sneeze”

“The Power of Positive Sneezing”

canidmajor's avatar

I still might, @Jeruba, I freak out the dog every time!

rebbel's avatar

“Sneezes: Small Orgasms”

Jeruba's avatar

Some words are inherently funny, don’t you think? “Sneeze” is one of them.

And think of all the other “sn-” words that have related meanings.

ragingloli's avatar


rebbel's avatar

“Snails: Small Orgasms Gastropods”

ragingloli's avatar


ucme's avatar

A sneeze should be celebrated & in that spirit mine sound exactly as this is written…

Love_my_doggie's avatar

a-choo, a-choo, a-choo, a-choo, a-choo. I’m always, without exception, a serial sneezer.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH CHEW!!!!! AH SHIT!!!!

Patty_Melt's avatar


Unofficial_Member's avatar

I usually start mine with “Haa!” Perhaps it would sound like “Haa tzeee! Haa tzee!”. I let my throat run wild while I do that and it ended up becoming much louder.

tinyfaery's avatar

Pachu, pachu. My wife says my sneezes sound like a sci-fi laser.

Zaku's avatar


Kardamom's avatar

Ah ah ah ah cherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Pinguidchance's avatar

I’m not falling for this again Jeruba, if I answer innocently then a mod comes and steal my words away:

Leonid Ilyich

zenvelo's avatar

Sneeze is on·omatopoeic. I spell it s n e e z e.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

I saw Robin Hood, Men in Tights yesterday. Just sayin’.

When my daughter sneezed she was soo dainty that the “chew!” part was like a rising high musical note.

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