Social Question

Unofficial_Member's avatar

What would be your reaction be like when someone give you coward but supposedly plausible excuse?

Asked by Unofficial_Member (5094points) 1 month ago

There are many but let me give you one. For example, someone confess their feeling to you and says “I love you, would you like to be my bf/gf?”. You ask them if they’re being serious repeatedly and they reply with “yes”. Then upon being rejected they suddenly says “gotcha! LOL. I was just kidding! Do you really think I would say something like that?”

Another example is, in the case of text messages, after they confess to you and get rejected they then reply with “I’m so sorry about that. I let my cousin use my phone and I didn’t know that he will mess with my messages when I didn’t look at him. Please forgive him, he didn’t mean any harm”

How would you react in such situation? Do you think people like that have made a fool out of yourself? Or do you think plausible excuses are supposed to be understood?

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15 Answers

kritiper's avatar

Suspicion.

canidmajor's avatar

I would recognize that they are trying to save face and be kind, and pretend to accept the explanation. I would not think they are cowardly for trying to hide their hurt.

Dutchess_III's avatar

They are just protecting their own feelings. No need to look any deeper than that.

zenvelo's avatar

Others seem more compassionate than I would be in those circumstances.

I would reply,, “don’t ever ask me questions like that again, I do not enjoy being part of your games.”

Really, that kind of behavior would piss me off, most likely to the point I would completely disengage from any interaction with the person.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Maybe we saw two different scenarios @zenvelo. What I took away from it was someone screwed up the courage to tell @Unofficial_Member (or whomever) that they had feelings above and beyond friendship.
When @Unofficial_Member said, “No, I don’t have those same feelings for you,” the person then chuckles and says, “I was just kidding.” In other words, he or she was embarrassed by the rejection and just trying to save face.

Now if @Unofficial_Member had said, “Yes, I feel the same way,” and then the other person said they were joking, that would be game playing.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Trying to save face/feeling when the situation calls for honesty and acceptance for consequence would seem like a coward move to me. If this behavior is generally acceptable then perhaps we all should make use of it and play a lot of confession game with others without consequence.

@Dutchess_III No, dearie. This is simply a hypothetical question. I was not being confessed to in this way. Other matters, yes.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I was just trying to clarify things as I saw them to @zenvelo. We both took something different away from your question. Maybe neither of us got it right.

Have you ever tried to tell someone you’ve had feelings for them, and been rejected @Unofficial_Member? If so, how did you feel?

Unofficial_Member's avatar

I have been open about my feelings to others but for romance I am the reciprocator type, so no, I don’t make the first move to guys, heck no! For friendly business, for example, I once tell my friend how certain someone look fat in a particular dress and that certain someone somehow know and confront me about it, without doubt, I will be honest and accept whatever might happen instead of making excuses (P.S. this situation happened and it wasn’t in volatile manner, in fact, the person was just curious and we discussed many things about it. Had she been angry I would have apologized to her for what I said). We all should learn to be honest and responsible for what we said, in this sense, I agree with @zenvelo‘s dislike toward dishonest behavior.

Dutchess_III's avatar

OK,how would you feel if you did make the first move and were rejected @Unofficial_Member? I’ve never been one to make the first move, but I have no problem imagining how I’d feel if I did and was turned down.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Alright, now I’m imagining that. I have come to a conclusion that I will be silent, instead of making excuses. The sense of defeat is apparent enough without the need to cover it, and I wouldn’t even bother to do that. What happened, happened. I imagine if I made excuses I would’ve sounded like a loser that won’t/can’t accept the reality.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I asked how you would feel, not what you would do or say. Just how you would feel.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

“The sense of defeat…” I already told you I will feel defeated in such situation. I will be embarrassed too, naturally, especially since this is not my particular behavior. Then let me also ask you, what do you think of others’ feeling when people downright lie in front of their face or simply can’t man up for their own action?

Dutchess_III's avatar

“Embarrassed.” That’s how I would feel, too. And, like you, I’d probably not say anything at all and just turn away to hide my shame.
But everyone doesn’t react the way I would, and if someone tries to take the edge off of their embarrassment by making like it was all a joke, I’d allow them that dignity. It’s a lot better than them getting pissed off at me, which has happened to me in the past. Refusing a male’s advances can be very dangerous for a woman, so simply deflecting from their embarrassment at the rejection is infinitely preferable.

seawulf575's avatar

I’d probably understand they are trying to save face, but would still blow them crap anyway. If they said they were just kidding, I’d ask them something like “What…I’m not good enough to ask out?” Or I’d ask “What if I had said yes?” Jokingly, of course. But sometimes people don’t handle rejection well and need to laugh it off. No big deal, really.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I agree. They need to laugh it away, like it was no big deal, when in fact, it might have been.

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