General Question

dopeguru's avatar

How many hours do you need when you meet a friend?

Asked by dopeguru (1738points) 3 weeks ago

I have two friends that I meet frequently (like once or twice a week) and when I invited them for a beer at night and said I had to be somewhere at 11:30 pm, they were like “well then I’d rather meet another time.” I invited them at 9! Is that now enough time to get beers and talk? This baffled me to be fair. I pointed it out to them and they didnt explain really, just said that they didn’t wanna come all the way(25 min train ride) for just 2.5 hours…

Well how long can you sit in a bar?

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8 Answers

Patty_Melt's avatar

Well, I can see their point about distance traveled and time together. Maybe they would rather more than a couple beers together.
Is there something else the three of you could enjoy together to do for a couple of hours before you stop for drinks?

flutherother's avatar

Meeting up with friends is much more relaxed if it isn’t time limited.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Your friend is saying they want more time with you.

JLeslie's avatar

A 25 minute train ride for 2.5 hours is probably enough time if they live right next to the train and you do to. If they have to walk an addition 10 minutes on both ends, then you’re at 45 minutes each way. If the train doesn’t have a schedule and is more like a subway, then you have to include probably waiting for the train. Even if it’s scheduled you have to get there a little early. Also, is the train expensive?

Still, for me the 2.5 is probably enough. I’lll travel by car 40 minutes to have a long lunch with a friend, but it needs to be planned, hopefully I can run other errands while I’m out.

I travel 25 minutes by car fairly regularly to meet up for an hour or two, but it’s to do something I really want to do usually anyway. Meaning, I might even go by myself. It doesn’t have to be planned ahead.

As I get older I am less willing to travel long distances. I care less about seeing friends all the time, but I still care about seeing them at least sometimes.

I like coming home, putting on my pajamas, and relaxing. But, I usually am spending time during the day interacting with people. If you have a desk job that’s fairly isolated you might need more social interaction after work.

I also don’t drink, so having a beer isn’t my thing, but the way you wrote it, it doesn’t sound like you are trying to get drunk.

Why don’t you go to their place?

jca2's avatar

I think that although two hours may be enough time to spend with any friend, it’s nice to not have to watch the clock and be aware of the time. To go out and have a choice of spending two hours or three hours or more is the best.

I just met one of the book group ladies for dinner the other night. We met around 6:30 and we were at dinner until 9:30. She had two glasses of wine, I had no liquor but it was just nice to not have to rush. I hate watching the clock, especially in a social setting. If I met her at 6:30 and said I have to leave at 8:30, that would have been plenty of time, too, but we would have had to be aware of the time, getting the check by a certain time, etc.

It also depends on what you’re doing. An hour in a diner is more than enough time. An hour in a nice restaurant is not enough time, usually, for dinner. Drinking at a bar or club, two hours might be a little tight, especially if she or he is taking public transportation to get there and back.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m with you @dopeguru, sounds like plenty of time to catch up to me. I’d probably be a little hurt tbh. The older you get, seems like the less time you have for friendships, I’ll take what I can get.

nightwolf5's avatar

Well, it’s hard to say, because you invited them at 9, which it take 25mins to get to and from. Yeah normally aside from that I would say 2.5 hours is more than enough time to visit and have an outing somewhere. But their time is even more limited with the going to and from. So I guess in that aspect you have to see it in that way too.

I have a group of friends that we meet up for lunch a couple times a month. And I am welcome to go when I want and can. We meet at the restaurant at noon and the place closes at 2pm. They only serve breakfast and lunch. We can leave whenever we choose. I usually leave a little between 1 and 1:30, some leave by 1, or stay til just before 2. It’s well enough time to catch up and visit for the day. But we all live close too.

JLeslie's avatar

My friends were down visiting their mom (and MIL) here in FL. They drive 17 hours to get down here! It’s nit only a trio to visit mom and grandma for the kids, but also a vacation to the sunshine and warm. The third day of their stay they drove over an hour each way to see me (and also see the community where I live). I wouldn’t have blamed them if they didn’t want to drive the 70–80 minutes. They stayed here 5 hours, but they got to see a small museum, walk around a beautiful setting with shops and vendors, listen to a band, dance, drink, and have dinner. If they were just coming to sit in my house I don’t know if they would have done it. They have in the past driven 45 minutes to just meet for dinner, which I thought was really really nice, but we only get to see each other once every 3–5 years. I would have driven to see them, if they hadn’t come to where I live. They are on a limited time frame though while on vacation. Since I can add in extra perks regarding seeing me, it helps.

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