What the hell is with women and chocolate?

Women with these crazy chocolate fetishes really creep me out. The ones who would die for chocolate around their periods. I’ve never understood this. I like chocolate as much as the next guy, but I’ve definitely never gotten all kinds of horny for it.

You know what else creeps me out about women? Breastfeeding. I know there are 8,000 different supposed benefits to it, but it’s just something that I think is totally freaking weird. I was never breastfed, and if I ever have a child, he/she will not be breastfed. It just seems like something that’s really outdated and unnecessary now. There are plenty of great formula brands now that are perfectly nutritious. No man wants to grow up and know that he used to suck on his mom’s boob. Like, seriously. That is not a thought any responsible mother should want to subject her child to. (I know most of the world disagrees with me on this.)