What if my sadness never ends?

Have you ever tried talk therapy? It sounds like you could really use some help from a skilled counselor. Therapy can make a big difference – it did for me. Good luck!!

I agree with @janbb. You most likely need therapy, and possibly medication too, but first you need to be evaluated. Not all depression is of the same type, and different patients need different treatments.

You should first see your Primary Care Physician, so that they can rule out any medical reasons for your depression, or deal with the medical problem, in addition to the depression.

Your Primary Care Physician can then refer you to a mental health care professional who might be a talk therapist, a cognitive behavior specialist, a psychologist, a neurologist, a psychiatrist, or a combination of different people who can help you.

In the meantime, while you are awaiting your evaluation, make sure that you are getting some exercise every day, and that you are getting proper nutrition. To be healthy, in mind and body, you have to treat your body as something that needs to be cared for too.

Depression, of the type that you are describing, almost never goes away on it’s own, but with the help of caring medical professionals, and the right combination of therapies and medications, depression can be effectively treated, so that it’s manageable, or even cured. You may have to try out several types if doctors, therapists, and med combinations to find the right mix that works for you.

Here is a whole lot of information that talks about the different types of depression, types of therapies available to treat depression, and the tupes of medications, in concert with therapies, that are used to treat depression.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20356013

Please make an appointment with your doctor, and go from there. You will have to be proactive, and ask for help, and possibly try several different approaches before you get the right combination. Please come back and let us know how you are doing : )

Not to be unsympathetic but you are wasting your time on a Q and A site
You need to talk to a doctor.
But while you are waiting for your appointment , as stated above, get some exercise and eat right.

Thank you so much for being open with us and trusting us by sharing your story. It’s really brave of you to tell us all this.

It’s also important. By reaching out to us, it means that you want to heal.

Now for the important point: You can heal. You can get better. You can start to feel good. I promise. Why do I know? Because I have been where you are now. I am a person who lives with mental illness, and I have been depressed in the past.

There was one point I was deeply depressed and I thought I would be better off dead, so I came very close to dying by suicide. At the last moment, a friend called me on the phone, I answered and started crying explaining what I was doing. I was rushed to the hospital, and I got help.

I told you all that so you would know I understand. When you say you think about suicide a lot, I understand. I used to think about dying constantly. I want you to know that I don’t do that anymore. I healed. It was not easy. It was not quick.

Here’s what works for me and keeps me feeling good and stable:

1. Medication. I take several different medicines every day to help me stay well. I had to go through many different types of medications until I found the ones that worked best for me. You mentioned that you tried medicine and it didn’t work. I suggest you tell your doctor that you want to try a different medicine.

2. Therapy. I recommend that you find a therapist you can talk to about why you feel sad. Talking to a professional about your troubles is one of the best ways to help ease your mind. I’ve been going to therapy for more than 30 years, and I love it. It’s so wonderful to walk into a room and have no secrets.

3. Exercise. I speed walk most mornings. Jogging hurts my knees, so I walk extremely fast. It’s great exercise for me, and it helps my mood. I suggest you find a type of exercise that you enjoy and do it.

4. Meditation. I meditate every morning without fail. Some mornings I only sit for about 15 minutes, and some mornings it’s longer for about half an hour. It’s about 20 minutes average. There’s no secret to meditation. Sit and concentrate on your breath. While you do that, your mind is going to start racing. That’s completely OK. That’s what the mind is supposed to do. Don’t fight the thoughts. Allow the thoughts to have their space, and then bring your concentration back to your breath. You’re going to have to bring your concentration back to your breath over and over, because your mind is going to wander over and over. That is not failure. It’s just the way it is. Keep doing it. Start by sitting for only 5 minutes. After a month, try increasing it to 10 minutes, and so on.

5. Sleep. I try to get good sleep every night. My sleep was suffering, so I recently went to a sleep psychologist for help. It’s helping. I’m getting better sleep.

6. Diet. I try to eat healthy food. It’s so important to how I feel both physically and mentally. There is growing scientific evidence that what we eat helps our mental health. Give it a shot.

I wish you all the best of luck as you start your healing journey. I healed. You can too.

Contemplate a different point of view. Look around. There are people you see everyday who are worse off than you. Find joy in this good fortune!

@kritiper With all due respect, I don’t think that advice has ever helped anyone who is deeply depressed.

@janbb Maybe, maybe not. But it doesn’t hurt to put life into perspective, because not much else short of professional therapy will help with such dire depression.

@kritiper That is full of guilt and shame directed at the OP. It is plain wrong to tell a person who is ill that other people have it worse so they should be cheerful at those other people’s expense. Would you tell a person with diabetes to be cheerful because another person has cancer? Just stop.

You need to determine whether this is chemical or not. If it is, you have to understand it, see that it is a part of you, and even look at it on the bright side. A lot of geniuses were depressed. What sorts of thoughts do you have? Can you make something out of them, like art? We ARE all alone in this life, in the end. You are not wrong in that. As you get older, it may be easier to cope, and it may even lead you to places most people can’t go. This is great!
First, you need to understand yourself well. Then follow what your passion is. Everyone is different. Some are not meant to be like the mass. Be at peace with and embrace yourself.

It might be helpful to find a support group. DBSA is a support network. They hold regular monthly meetings. It does not cost anything. There are no therapists, just people like yourself, sharing their experiences and giving support.

I want to thank you all for taking time to answer my question @janbb, @LostInParadise, @dopeguru, @kritiper, @josie, @Kardamom, @Hawaii_Jake. They made me feel better, and even if some words weren’t the «best» to read considering my sadness, I know that they were just written with the best intention. Just to give a quick update: I am now looking for a therapist and I hope to see one in less than 2 weeks. It’s going to be hard since mental illness is not really taken into consideration where I live (or most countries even). I loved the group idea, but since I’m not from the states, that’s impossible for me. Once again, thank you all for your kind words.

@Hawaii_Jake You’re comparing apples to oranges.

@kritiper Depression is a brain illness in the same way diabetes is an illness of the pancreas. Just stop.

@Hawaii_Jake Depression is a state of mind, diabetes is a physical ailment. It is not the same.

@kritiper Depression can be both a state of mind from grief and/or a chemical imbalance. To the op you might get used to It. I am doing fine, and I was insane in the first years as talljasperman in 2009.

@kritiper Just stop. Stop. You do not know what you are talking about, and you are doing active harm on this thread.

@josie There is no such thing as wasting time on the internet when a person is reaching out for help. It doesn’t take hours to write a question and it doesn’t take hours to read the answers. The OP has an appointment and is waiting for it. There’s no harm in wanting to hear from others who also suffer.

Great advice @Hawaii_Jake.

@maria_rbm I hope you get the help you need. Please know you are not alone. Hang in there!

@kritiper, you should read this:

https://futurism.com/not-just-a-state-of-mind-scientists-locate-the-physical-source-of-depression-in-the-brain/

We are trying to be helpful to the OP. I would never wish clinical depression on anyone. It is a horrible illness. I truly hope that you never have to suffer from clinical depression.