General Question

luvorlust's avatar

Im scared cause I want a baby?

Asked by luvorlust (12points) August 24th, 2008 from iPhone

I’m 15 years old and I’m with a guy I adore I’m still a virgin but I really want a baby is this normal? Cause walking down baby isles at the store and seeing baby stuff males me bust into tears.

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52 Answers

Response moderated
DoNot's avatar

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t do it!

cheebdragon's avatar

your bf didn’t even want his last kids, why is he going to want yours?? Your just a little fucking kid and you don’t know shit about the world! You will ruin your life and the kids life.

shanebroughton's avatar

Having a baby is an 18-year commitment and you need to be financially situated. Kids cost a lot of money and need 24 hours of your time. You are far too young, not to mention your boyfriend may not feel the same way. Before having a baby you really should be settled down, married, and ready for the long haul.

buster's avatar

You should still be playing with baby dolls.

crunchaweezy's avatar

Bravo chee, BRAVO

luvorlust's avatar

I’m not going to do it! I just asked if it’s normal to feel this way and he didn’t give up leon and isabelle his mother made him give them up! We visit them every weekend.

simone54's avatar

You’re just being an idiot. I don’t mean to offend but you are. You don’t really want baby. If you do I feel bad for three lives you are going to ruin.

Just get a puppy.

cheebdragon's avatar

Oh, his mommy made him give them up…....that changes everything! ~

luvorlust's avatar

what does it matter I’ve raised siblings as if they were my own my mother was never around and my siblings are at the to of their classes my 13 year old brother is in lime for basketball scholarship and we never had fathers

cheebdragon's avatar

your 15, so you have been raising your brother since you were 2? I don’t think so!

luvorlust's avatar

my mother was a drug addict and is an alcoholic and try being molested by random guys that come in and put of your house from the club that your mother brings home from the club.

crunchaweezy's avatar


Don’t go down your mother’s path.

simone54's avatar

So you had a crappy childhood. Why would you want someone else to have a crappy childhood.

cheebdragon's avatar

don’t be a selfish bitch, you are too young to understand how to raise a kid. Are you so stupid that you would bring a kid into the same enviroment you had to be in?

simone54's avatar

To answer you actually question…

No it is not normal.

glitterrrrfish's avatar

that’s deff not normal at such a young age. I saw this shit on Maury. Having a baby isn’t all fun and games you know? While your pregnant: no smoking, drinking, dying hair, you can’t even go to school cuz they’ll kick you out. On top of that wen you have the darn kid most linley your bfs gone and you need to stay up nights and take care of it. You probably won’t even have enough money to buy those cute things you see in the baby isles

2late2be's avatar

well I personally don’t think you should do it, if you bf let his mom interfere with an earlier relationship, he isn’t worth it, if he was mature enough to have a baby, he should have been to tell his mom it was his obligation, to go in the baby aisle doesn’t mean anything, baby aisle will still be there when you’re more mature and really ready to have a baby. I can see that what you are looking is to get out of the situation you’re living, looks hard, but believe me, a baby, with 15 yearls old, with a bf that gave up another baby, it’s not the best solution for bow…

crunchaweezy's avatar

Get rid of the iPhone, then get your mother some help.

luvorlust's avatar

for being 15 I know alot of shit I have a pretty good grasp on life I know all those fairytales tell lies. But trust me if you met his mom you would understand she had an obortion with my bf little brother because she said she never wants to deal with kids again once my bf moves out. I understand right now isn’t the right time I know it’s WAY too early but it hurts though cause I’ll break down crying now I know it’s not normal but I’m not stupid enough to make the same mistakes my mother did. I know I’ve done drugs and got past it I’ve cut before and stopped I’ve had a drinking problem and got help for it I know that I’m not ready cause I’m still trying to find myself but it hurts when you have something like this weighing heavy on ur mind.

luvorlust's avatar

screw my mother she had plenty of chances to get help I’m done with her plus I got my iPhone from my bf

crunchaweezy's avatar

Having a baby is not your best choice here. I’m pretty sure you don’t have a good grasp on life, I’m 15 too, trust me.

Yeah they’re cute, blah blah blah, get through school first.

luvorlust's avatar

I’m a straight a student in line for a scholarship to an art school I have a 4.0 gpa

crunchaweezy's avatar

I dunno how you could have a 4.0 gpa if you write answers like these;

“my mother was a drug addict and is an alcoholic and try being molested by random guys that come in and put of your house from the club that your mother brings home from the club.”

luvorlust's avatar

I have a puppy I have 4 in fact and an iguanna a boa constricter a ball python a ferret and a cockatoo I don’t need any more pets

luvorlust's avatar

what do you mean? I’m on a friggen I phone here it sucks! I don’t have a computer so whatever.

luvorlust's avatar

*put was supposed to be out

crunchaweezy's avatar

Pets? What?

I have one pitbull, four birds, five guinea pigs. thanks for sharing!

Response moderated
luvorlust's avatar

yeah so what I repeated myself it’s a 15 year old mistake when ur as pissed as I am I said I wasn’t going to do it all I asked was if it was normal not to be called a dipshit you prick if your not going to handle this like a civilized human then leave I don’t need your snide remarks alright? Sound fair enough?

jlm11f's avatar

There’s too much “yelling” going on in this thread. To answer the Q, it doesn’t matter if it’s normal or not. Every girl/woman is different with respect to their maternal instinct. As you can see from all the other answers on here, having a kid at this age is not advisable. From your answers, it seems you understand this, which is good. Once you have accomplished your academic/career goals and are a lot older, you can have a kid and nurse those instincts. As for what to do about them right now, I would suggest babysitting for people (keep low rates, but don’t do it for free unless you are related, otherwise the people will get suspicious) and you can also volunteer as a candystriper or something at the local hospital. Good luck!

luvorlust's avatar

someone said get a puppy I anwsered them sorry.

crunchaweezy's avatar

Civilized humans, * rolling around laughing my fookin buttocks off! *

luvorlust's avatar

Thank you PnL your the only one that seemed to get what I was saying and acctually anwsered my question without being completely unreasonable about it thank you once again.

crunchaweezy's avatar

simone answered the question long time ago.


jlm11f's avatar

@luvorlost: you’re welcome :)

gailcalled's avatar

@ALL: Suspicious registration yesterday; suspicious wording today, suspicious sounding answers; suspiciously familiar, creative spelling but some sophisticated vocabulary. Have we been had again?

cak's avatar

I don’t know if it’s normal, I was too busy with school; however, I knew I always wanted to be a mother; however, I knew I needed to wait.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you able to (without going on government assistance) support a child?
2. What about a dad? Is he ready? If not, then you will need to sue for child support – if he’s a minor, that support figure will be so low that it will hardly help you out.
3. When you are at school, what are you doing to do with the baby? What are you going to do with a crying baby, while you are trying to study?
4. You brought your mother up. If you are living with her, do you really want to introduce that baby to her world? I don’t think so. You want more for your child.
5. When you want to go out and do something…where’s the baby?

I’m not trying to be mean. Those are just the first 5 questions. I’m sure, if you really think about this, you will understand that it isn’t the time, yet.

I’m sorry you have been through so much and that your brother has too; however, this is not a reason to bring a child into the world. You are not ready. Please take your time to grow up, more and to graduate HS and go for higher learning. Vo-tech school, community college, College – hey – cosmetology school! Something, do more for yourself, now and plan for a child, later. It’s your time now!

I love my children, more than life, itself. Parenting is hard, though. Very hard. Right now, I have a long term illness, I’m not with my children and miss them, dearly. When I was home, between being in the hospital, it was hard. Cancer wears you out and it is falling all on my husband to raise them, right now. Sure, I do the conversations and things like that, but from a hospital, it’s hard to truly parent. What would happen if you got really sick? It doesn’t sound like you have anyone to help you out.

Allow yourself to grow up and then, down the road, start a family.

gailcalled's avatar

Leon and Isabelle? Puleese. Why not Troillus and Cressida or Hero and Leander or Tristan and Isolde?

gailcalled's avatar

And please note the issues of drugs and cutting in the two earlier questions.

JackAdams's avatar

My younger cousin felt as you did, and my aunt (Gawd rest her soul) came up with what she thought was an ideal solution.

She arranged for a neighbor lady (who was a close personal friend) to “loan” her infant son to my female cousin for ONE WEEK, with the understanding that my cousin would be solely responsible for the safety and well-being of that baby, for those seven days. (My cousin was 14, not 15.)

For an entire week, my cousin spent every waking moment with that baby, feeding him, bathing him, changing his smelly diapers, and playing with him. She also had his crib in her bedroom, so the kid could wake her up in the middle of the night, for “formula feedings.”

At the end of that week (in which she never left her house, nor went out with her girlfriends or boyfriends), she told her mother, “I think I’ll wait until I’ve graduated college and have gotten married, before I even THINK of having a kid, again.”

My cousin is now well past 30, and is “childless by choice,” so far.

Do a LOT of babysitting of infants, if you are able. Smelly diapers can change a person’s mind, in a hurry.

August 24, 2008, 7:25 PM EDT

ninjaxmarc's avatar

Answer these questions:
Are you ready to be a mom and take responsibility?
Are you financially stable?
Is the father ready?

I’m thinking not.

jrpowell's avatar

Simply put. I thought I knew everything when I was 15. I’m 30 now and realize I was pretty much wrong about everything I thought back in those days.

Poser's avatar

I think that what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal for someone who’s been through what you’ve been through. You feel like a baby of your own would be someone who’d be cute, cuddly and will love you unconditionally. My step-sister felt the same way—twice. Both of her sons are now well adjusted with adoptive families, which is as it should be. She was in no way capable of taking care of herself, much less a child, much less two children.

Here is the flaw to your “logic.” Babies aren’t always cute or cuddly, and they certainly aren’t unconditionally loving. In fact, practically the only time that babies are in any fun whatsoever, is when they are asleep. And, as has been mentioned previously, they are a ton of work and hassle, and cost a buttload of money.

Having said all that, yes, what you’re feeling is perfectly normal. It’s also perfectly dangerous because it wouldn’t be that difficult for you, in a moment of weakness, to follow through on these feelings.

I suggest finding someone that you feel comfortable talking to—a responsible adult. School counselor, teacher, pastor—anyone that will listen. Tell them what you’re going through, what you’re feeling. If they can’t help you, they’ll find someone who can. Just talking about it can go a long way toward alleviating the pain you’re feeling (trust me on that). Good luck, and as much as you may feel differently, you’re still just a kid. Enjoy being one and don’t pile a bunch of adult burdens on your own shoulders too early. You aren’t alone out there.

JackAdams's avatar

My ex-wife had a very strong maternal instinct in her teens, fueled by the fact that she was given dolls to play with, and had an urge for “the real thing.”

Her parents were somewhat alarmed when she expressed a desire to have her own child (at so young an age), so they went out and spent $7 (in the 1960s) for a parakeet/budgie.

That gave her something to be a “mommy” for, and satisfied her maternal urges. To this day, she has birds, and no desire for any human “babies.”

August 24, 2008, 9:42 PM EDT

loser's avatar

I’m going with Gail on this one..

cecildooderbop's avatar

i think this was taken waay out of proportion.

I don’t think it’s normal to want a baby at the age of 15, considering i am 15 and I’m not anywhere near mature enough to handle even the thought of caring for a baby.

I also don’t think you should try to have a baby. Look at the path you say you’re on. you have a 4.0 and a scholarship to an arts school? Do you have any kind of idea how much having a baby would mess this up. Think about the long term affects. and i mean really think about it. what if this guy doesn’t even stay with you? you’re going to be stuck raising a kid. on your own. just really think about it.

marinelife's avatar

Please think of the potential baby and do not have it.

Think of what happens if you break up with your boyfriend, and the two of you have had a baby.

If you really are 4.0, how will you go to college with a baby?

How will you date again with a baby?

A baby needs its parent’s total focus. A 15-year-old needs to focus on finishing growing up and planning a life as an adult.

From your posts, you have had a lot of emotional issues in the past (drinking, cutting, etc.) A baby will make that emotional pressure that much worse.

babygalll's avatar

Spend the afternoon babysitting. That might change the way you feel.

zephyr826's avatar

let yourself be a child first, before you have to be a grown-up. And please be careful.

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