Social Question

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Why is it called "Wife swapping" and not "Husband swapping?"?

Asked by Dutchess_lll (5920points) May 7th, 2019

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26 Answers

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

From the woman’s perspective it is “husband swapping”

stanleybmanly's avatar

I suppose it can go either or both ways depending on who sets the ball rolling.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Yes @ARE_you_kidding_me. It is. But it’s not called that. Why?

JLeslie's avatar

GQ! I think it goes back to women being thought of as a possession. Men were the owners, or the master.

MrGrimm888's avatar

It’s intentionally meant to suppress females.~

Why do women have a “pair” of panties, but a braw is singular?

Wife has less letters. It would be cheaper to advertise. Plus, I think wife swapping sounds more offensive. Controversy, can be good for ratings…

Dutchess_lll's avatar

What do y’all imagine the outcome might be if a wife suggested a “Husband Swap” to her husband?

zenvelo's avatar

Cuz most women feel that the other husband is no better than the one they are stuck with.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Good question, maybe it’s just another form of degrading women?
Why are men that have sex with any women that will have them called studs, but women that sleep around are sluts?

josie's avatar

Same reason there isn’t a little poem that is the analogue to “Happy wife, happy life”

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@Dutchess_lll “wife swapping” is a phrase created by the porn industry. To the rest of us it’s more commonly known as swinging.

stanleybmanly's avatar

@Dutchess III I’m sure there are examples of women taking the initiative on swapping. Were my wife to suggest such an experiment, I can tell you that politically correct labeling would not be my priority in the ensuing discussion.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I know what it is @ARE_you_kidding_me. regardless of who coined it, it stuck with us. Not one person had to ask what it meant.

This wasn’t a question about political correctness, @stanleybmanly.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I know. But it’s like manslaughter or manhole. The word reflects the attitudes prevalent in the era of its introduction.

Dutchess_III's avatar

That would be the 60s I would assume. I’m sure it was around long before that. They just weren’t so open about it.

My mom once confided in me that my father once suggested doing a wife swap with his brother, and his brother wanted it too. Mom was absolutely devastated. She was hurt that he could so casually, and selfishly, put her in a situation that he’s supposed to protect her from. She said “No,” of course.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I’m pretty sure men are more prone to such notions, but I learned a long time ago that for me, no task on earth is more excruciating than involvement with more than one woman.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Why not “Spouse Swapping”?

Dutchess_III's avatar

They don’t call it that either. It’s just “Wife swapping.” It’s almost like the women don’t get to have a say in it. The men simply trade wives.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Well it cant be quite that simple. No matter how it sounds. And I suspect that for the average husband to suggest such a thing to the average spouse to result in the severe disruption of any otherwise stable relationship.

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Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes, I would think so too @stanleybmanly.

OK, this is utterly ironic. I watched “Indecent Proposal” for the first time. It stars Demi Moore, Robert Redford and…..Woody Harrelson. And the plot is about Redford “renting” Harrelson’s wife, Demi Moore, for 1 night for a million dollars. It was really interesting.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^But Demi had a choice. There was consent, and thorough discussion. It also exemplified the emotional cost on the otherwise healthy relationship.

If a rich woman wanted to have sex with your husband for $1million, and you really needed the money, how would you approach the situation? Would you even remotely consider it?

Dutchess_III's avatar

And I think women have a choice took, like my mom. But too many of us have been conditioned to do whatever it takes to make the man happy. The fact that he would even ASK is a betrayal.

Yes, I would certainly consider it for a million dollars. Either him or me. Why not? One thing the movie brought out was that Woody was MUCH more emotional about it all than Demi was. For her it was “just sex.”

stanleybmanly's avatar

That was the basic dilemma of the movie. Woody could not get past what he himself recognized as the windfall of a lifetime. Both he & demi were in agreement, but the very fact that she agreed with him ruined the relationship and we’re left to assume scarred him for life. That movie illustrates the great and inescapable truth that it’s a dangerous business to ever assume that “it’s just about sex”.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Men seem much more invested, emotionally, in sex than women are. It seems more important to men that they get sex. Most women could get sex almost anytime anywhere, but most of us don’t.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The movie stipulates that it’s also more important to men that their women are exclusive.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Yes. That’s a HUGE factor.

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