General Question

dopeguru's avatar

My cat ran away, again?

Asked by dopeguru (1891points) 1 week ago

So I just came home. My mother walks home as I’m feeding stray cats in our neighborhood outside and says “She ran away, you kno” and I get so mad. She is in a careless mood. I tell her how many times it is now. Every time its HER leaving the door open for a few minutes, allowing her to run away. I yell at her. She says “don’t feed the cats that way” – something totally awful to say, I mean you make my cat run away and now saying I should feed the stray cats with a bowl so I don’t ruin the street with cat food??? Wow. I’m beyond upset. Please help me guys. I’m begging you. I’m about to have a heart attack. My cat is nowhere to be seen and my parents don’t care. I’m in my late 20s and don’t want a 9–6 job so I’m saving up money with the arts so I can leave but I’m stuck with them.

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119 Answers

jca2's avatar

Does your mom not like the cat?

My best advice is move out, since you can’t make your parents do anything and you can’t make them care. I know you’re saving money for whatever, but you have to prioritize. If your priority is saving money, then you have to deal with your mom’s lackadaisical attitude toward the cat. If your priority is the cat, then you need to get out ASAP, regardless of the money situation.

You can talk to your mom about it but you can’t make her care. Since this is not the first time this has happened, with the cat running away, I’d say she doesn’t seem to see the sense of urgency about it that you do.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Sounds like you have a choice to make – stay with your parents, and deal with all the shit that involves, so you can “save up money with the arts”. Or take some control over your own life (and cat) and move out. You have to figure out which is more important to you.

And no, like last time, your cat did not run away. It’s just following its natural tendencies. Cats are curious by nature and will roam when allowed to. However, they tend to also not stray too far from their homebase, unless driven away by something. The cat will return unless it cannot for some reason.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Let the cat go. There’s a reason why he keeps running away.

Maybe you’ll see it again, maybe not. but you can sing this: song to console yourself.

Oh – figure out a way to move out. You are almost 30.

Inspired_2write's avatar

hmmm This reminds me of a time when a newly married couple got married after a long engagement and the woman had a cat long time before she met her husband.

Husband pretended to like the cat in order to get the women.

Two years later when the couple moved into there new house , the cat disappeared?

Later in the divorce that followed it turned out that the husband Never like her cat and he had let it out in the new neighborhood to get lost!

The cat NEVER came back.

I think that your mother may or may not like the cat but she sure doesn’t want another being dependent on her.

Time to give the cat to friends and plan on leaving soon on your own regardless of what hours “that you don’t want”.

At his point what YOU want is of little importance to your parents.

As for feeding the other cats,she probably thinks that you are encouraging more cats into the neighborhood at a time when money is scarce.

Spend on your parents , not the cats and see if attitudes turn around somewhat.

jca2's avatar

What does it mean “I’m saving up money with the arts?”

stanleybmanly's avatar

It appears your mother would prefer that you join your cat in running away. You puzzle me. In view of your mother’s attitude, it absolutely floors me that you would antagonize her through drawing stray cats to her door. The tension between the 2 of you sounds murderous, and it wouldn’t surprise me if your cat picks up on the vibe. If I remember correctly, your cat comes back. Objectively speaking, you’re fortunate that your mother doesn’t evict the 2 of you.

dopeguru's avatar

@jca2 It means I’m selling my art.

dopeguru's avatar

Okay so you people here are in that old stereotypical mindset that is anti-family bounds and anti-compassion, which is “a woman/man must be moving out and leaving their parents if she/he is in her late 20s”. For no reason at all other than me approaching 30. I want to move out but not because I’m approaching 30. That’s just stupid.

I’m sorry but this is one of the many points you Americans get wrong. No surprise there are high suicide rates and homeless rates. Your families don’t care about you.

jca2's avatar

@dopeguru: Not sure where you live or why the harsh comments about Americans, but the way I see it is, if I want things a certain way (my way), I live on my own. If I live under my parents’ roof, and presumably they’re paying the bills, they call the shots.

When I turned 18 and all of my friends had the attitude that once you’re 18 you can do what you want, and my parents did not, I realized that if I wanted to have friends over, or stay out all night, or whatever, I would need to be independent. I then lived with another relative who did not allow me to have cats. It wasn’t until I got my first apartment that I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, have the pets I wanted, make the mess or keep it as clean as I wanted, and pay the bills to have it all. To me, that’s the bottom line. My house, my money, my rules, my financial responsibilities.

It didn’t mean my parents loved me any less and it didn’t drive me to suicide.

dopeguru's avatar

@jca2 First off, if someone pays the bills in an area, does that mean they call the shots, even if they’re ethically wrong, for example? So judging by your rules money equals what is right. That makes no sense to me. That also means that abusive parents, for example, are fine because they pay the bills.

I agree that I can’t do whatever I want. There needs to be a mutual agreement. Regardless of who is paying.

I asked my parents to adopt the cat. They wanted it more than I did. My mother tried adopting one before this one but they ran away. So its not like I’m forcing a cat in the house.

The issue here is that she is WRONG. And my cat ran away.
The issue is not me forcing anything without their will. The issue is them being ethically wrong.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The issue here is that it is your parents’ house. You cannot force your mother to adopt YOUR hobby. You may regard your kitty as the love of your life, but you are not going to sell your mom on the idea of your cat as a suitable granddaughter. Your cat will be back (probably). Since your mom is indifferent to its running away, which of the 2 of you do you suppose must adjust to that fact?

And I like your perspective on the ruthless aspects of American family dynamics. But I don’t care where you live, money always calls the shots. It is undoubtedly the reason you can’t leave home. Now if you want a genuine lecture on just how jaded and callous we Americans can be, just ask me, lovable Uncle Stan what he would tell his 30 year old daughter on her decision to pursue a career of starving artist with me supporting her and her cat.

Kardamom's avatar

You need to move out. If your parents own the house, and pay the bills, then yes you have to abide by their rules. That is the way life works whether you like it or not.

Your mom is not a responsible cat owner. You have to understand that.

Move into a room and pay rent, but make sure you have a mutual, and written, agreement with the people from whom you rent. That is how it works, whether you are in the US, or anywhere else.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes. If you live with a person who pays the bill, they call the shots. Period.
She doesn’t like cats, it’s her house, she is not wrong.

Move.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

You do seem to have a problem keeping your Pussy under control , don’t you?

Patty_Melt's avatar

Raising my hand here. I’m another American with an opinion. By the way, opinions are being given here specifically because you asked.

Let’s take a whole new look at your situation. Let’s say your parents are not involved at all.
Here is the new picture. You don’t want to hold down a job with a time card. You fancy yourself an artist, and you are a very good artist, but so far nobody knows except you. You don’t fancy sleeping where weather is, and your good luck leads you to a nice couple who have jobs and live where they can shut weather out. They say you can live with them while you wait for your superpowers to kick in. It makes them feel a bit uncomfortable, but they try to ignore that for a while, and just feel glad that you, and they, are not living with the weather.
You decide that they are not enough luck, and company in your life. You want them to welcome a cat into their home. It will be fine, because if they like you enough to share their home not in the weather with you, they will also like sharing their home with whatever you like, even if this something else would really rather be with weather, and jumpy things, and things with a great variety of scents, and adventures, and always brings a bath with them wherever they go.
So now we have people working jobs they know will cover their bills, giving a home to a person who is not willing to take a job just because it pays the bills, it has to be a hobby – job which makes their heart soar, and they think that the people paying the bills, and the cat that would rather be outside sniffing and exploring, that they should all want things to be the way the artist fancies them, because art and beauty are in this person’s soul.
I see what you mean. It isn’t about age at all. It is about choices. Everyone has made their choices, but any which don’t mesh with yours are unreasonable.

How dare they! I am with you all the way. You just put your foot down, and let them all understand they are wrong.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@Patty_Melt – i trust that the last sentence is tongue in cheek.

I agree with your summation of the situation. Well done.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Let’s not forget the urge to concentrate the neighborhood strays at mom & dad’s doorstep. Are we to understand that your cat took off while you were tending to the neighbors?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Trippiest summation ever @Patty_Melt! And I agree.

Have you tried to put yourself in their shoes instead of demanding they walk in your shoes @dopeguru?

dopeguru's avatar

Hmm okay I’ve read everything (unlike you all did, because I explain the situation better in my previous answer) and I’m now convinced all of you are lacking in some serious rationality. You are clearly the reasons why the world is hell to live in for people like me. First off, having a boring, awful job that pays barely enough to afford rent and food is not what defines someone’s worth. It’s their character and their interests – which you all seem to have harsh judgments on because hey, I’m an “almost 30” year old(old!) who lives with her parents (WOW.) shares with you a moment/s I go through with full transparency and no sugarcoating.
How sad is the world we live in, man.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@dopeguru

You’re going to have to make up your mind – do you want to be a non-working freeloader and live off your parent? Or do you want to be able to call your own shots? Pick one, because you cannot have both.

(Though, if I’m to be frank, I’m not entirely sure you’re responsible or mature enough to live on your own.)

“I asked my parents to adopt the cat. They wanted it more than I did.”

Then frankly, why do you care? You brought in the cat. Decided you didn’t want it. Asked them to take care of it, then when they said “no”, instead of finding it a home with someone who does want it, declare that it’s you, even though you didn’t want it.

Sounds like you want the cat around to pet when it’s convenient for you, but you don’t want any of the responsibility for the cat.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No, money doesn’t define someone’s worth, but their willingness to open up their homes to other people and to help them out, does. That, BTW, would be your parents.

dopeguru's avatar

@Darth_Algar Dude, what the heck are you talking about? Either I’m the worst explainer or you are reading a different question.

dopeguru's avatar

@Dutchess_III That doesn’t define their worth, that defines an aspect of their character which is linked to their worth.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Clearly you did not read everything, because I said none of that.
However, since paying bills is not important enough to take a job that has a timecard involved, then shuck it. Seriously. Live outdoors where your art can be totally inspired by all nature has to offer.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Your sentiments are admirable, and the truth is that I admire your defiance in support of idealism. Your parents SHOULD be proud of you though you drag them to the poorhouse. I’m serious! On top of that “LOL shut up!” is a truly great answer. I hope that when you become a renowned artist, you will take the time to rub my face in your success as you leave your considerable fortune (after looking out for your parents) to your cat.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@dopeguru, I will translate. Darth said, “You’re going to have to make up your mind – do you want to be a non-working freeloader and live off your parent? Or do you want to be able to call your own shots? Pick one, because you cannot have both.”

Translation: Grow up or get out.

dopeguru's avatar

@Patty_Melt Why are you talking in such degrading ways? Art is the highest metaphysical activity and the meaning of life.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@dopeguru

Oh? This thread is not about your cat and your unwillingness to support yourself through practical means?

dopeguru's avatar

@Darth_Algar This thread is not about anything you wrote, no. I am taking care of the cat, and my parents wanted it as much as or even more than I did. Where in this question did I say I’m only seeing her as pure entertainment and am not looking after her?

Patty_Melt's avatar

Great! I agree.
Get physical, metaphysical, let your body talk, go live outdoors where the ultimate communing can take place.

dopeguru's avatar

@Patty_Melt Why do I need to live outdoors and in communes?

Darth_Algar's avatar

@dopeguru

Are you seriously this clueless?

dopeguru's avatar

@Darth_Algar Are you this lacking in rationale?
“You brought in the cat. Decided you didn’t want it. ” – When did I say that?

Asked them to take care of it (when?)

Patty_Melt's avatar

That is art, man! And I did not suggest living in a commune, I suggested you commune with nature. One is a verb, other is a noun.

dopeguru's avatar

@Patty_Melt You’re making no sense. Keep degrading people on the internet who are interested in art though, if that makes you feel better about your… life.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Wait a sec. The world requires both idealists AND tolerant parents to nurture them. Personally, I don’t know whether @dopeguru is a courageous genius or silly fool. I trust she will hug her mom keep an eye on her cat, and vow to prove us jaded Americans full of bottom line money grubbing shit. But we know the odds.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@dopeguru

I never claimed you literally said that, and you don’t have to literally say something literally in order to infer it. That’s exactly what you’ve inferred by statements like “I asked my parents to adopt the cat. They wanted it more than I did”.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Not only am I making perfect sense, I am being perfectly consistent, which you are not.

Secondly, most of the people you are arguing with are artists, in varying fields and capacities.

Thirdly, being prone to emotional outbursts is not what being an artist is about.
Art is displaying something in such a way that it stirs the spirit and imagination of others. If you can’t see beyond your own fury, and connect with what makes emotion deep within someone else come to their surface, then you are no artist, you are merely frustrated and lazy.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Why are your parents continuing to support you?

stanleybmanly's avatar

Apparently they can afford it. And they obviously are prepared to put up with her (and the cat). The great risk or blessing with your kids is that some of them grow up dreaming and you can’t beat it out of em. The rest of us benefit enormously from those kids we cannot turn into businessmen. God bless those among us still resistant to the money grubbing imperative.

canidmajor's avatar

@dopeguru this is not the appropriate forum for you to address this issue, obviously. You don’t like it here, you don’t respect what people have to say or that they took the time to bother to respond.

There are a number of places on the Internet that are more geared to addressing this particular issue, perhaps you would have more luck getting what you feel are appropriate responses elsewhere?

For example, Reddit has a host of subreddit fora that cover a number of family issues. Google your choices, you are bound to get answers more in tune with what you want to hear.

Zaku's avatar

Americans do tend to be deeply opinionated assholes about who “pays the bills”, “the rules of the house” and parental authority in general. If you argue with them about those things, they tend to just come back with condescending projections stored up from having been overpowered and treated as second-class humans.

I’d say the underlying truth however is that no one can control anyone else or force them to agree with their views or opinions, and when people live together, and there are clashes, you need to listen to the other people and figure out how to get along, or else chaos will ensue.

So I think your best hope, if you are going to stay there, is to listen to your parents, understand their views, needs and desires, and let them know that you do understand and acknowledge whatever those are, and think how you can try to accommodate those. After doing that, they may possibly, maybe, be open to listening to your needs and accommodating those.

And IIRC, your cat just likes to go out and will be almost surely be back, like last time.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Zaku, I’m not going to tolerate a full grown adult behaving so rudely in my house, that I worked my ass off to pay for, especially when they’re freaking lazy freeloaders. No. Get out.

I wonder if she does her own laundry and cooks meals for the household, or cleans house or something to contribute?

stanleybmanly's avatar

I wonder if she’s the kid her parents would prefer? She has framed the issue as a question of right or wrong. It’s amazing that at this stage she has yet to be challenged by her folks on the validity of her position. If her parents aren’t pissed, why should we care?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m worried about the cat!

stanleybmanly's avatar

She comes back.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Obviously the majority of us here have a life perspective which differs so greatly from that of OP, we are incapable of delivering advice or suggestions which could be considered helpful.

I offer my sincerest apologies for the depth of my transgressions.

May you and cat flourish, in spite of the terrible behavior of your mother. I hope she soon mends her ways.

It is said that art blossoms from the scars of adversity. Perhaps this situation will be just the right inspiration for you to soar.

Best of luck,
Patty

elbanditoroso's avatar

Or maybe the friggin’ cat will decide that dysfunctional families are not a healthy feline environment and decide to take up residence somewhere else.

flo's avatar

It is her/your parents house. How does it help you to yell at her and/or that you post here that you did yell at her?

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Zaku

She comes here asking for advice. She receives good, well-intentioned advice, but that advice isn’t what she wants to hear, so her response is “shut up”.

flo's avatar

Why the word “kid” re.someone in their late twenties? If you’re a kid then you’re not mature enough to be expected to act like an adult or something similar.

mazingerz88's avatar

How can somebody take additional cat responsibilities when one seemingly couldn’t independently support oneself?

flo's avatar

@Patty_Melt “May you and cat flourish, in spite of the terrible behavior of your mother. I hope she soon mends her ways.”?

jca2's avatar

I am confused. Ask for advice. Get mad at the people who respond because you don’t like the responses. Insult the people who tried to offer their perspective. Why ask for advice if you already know the answer?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I think you like the “TOXIC” happenings at he “Casa”.

So you can complain !!

Stache's avatar

I’ve had a few outdoor cats that came back until they didn’t. One was taken to the pound by a furious neighbor who didn’t like my cat rummaging through his garabage. Another didn’t return most likely due to the neighborhood coyotes. One came back with a whole in its head apparently from a gun shot. He had to be put down.

Now I do everything in my power to make sure my cats don’t escape. They’ve never taken a step outside and they are very happy.

It’s obvious your mother isn’t responsible enough to care for your cat’s well being. It is now up to you. Move out or suffer the consequences if your cat doesn’t return.

btw, I’m also an artist but it doesn’t pay the bills so I work a job I’d rather not do.

Zaku's avatar

Seems to me @dopeguru was worried about her cat and stressed about her relationship with her mother.

Looks like she was asking for support, not shaming.

Looks to me like you projected your own unrelenting shaming judgemental bullshit about all people who live with their parents and don’t do a job they don’t want, which doesn’t look to me like a match for the question or her actual culture or situation or relationship with her parents.

You think you are right about your formulaic answers and the cruel righteous nonsense that comes so easy to mind, and seems to have a lot of anger tied up in it, but I think that anger and those answers are about your own material, not about her. Not everyone is locked in that hell spiral that your thoughts take you to.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
dopeguru's avatar

@Dutchess_III Why does your answer have 3 upvotes? It’s completely just a silly narrow-minded attack because in nowhere did I say I was behaving so rudely in my house.

dopeguru's avatar

@stanleybmanly You can’t be serious with your words :D Why would my parents have a serious chat with me? What is the worry here? I’m not like you – maybe thats why they love me. I think they’d be disappointed if I turned out like most of the people in this thread, genuinely. Hmm.

dopeguru's avatar

I think @Zaku put it more coherently than I ever could.

dopeguru's avatar

@jca2 That’s not advice, my dear.

dopeguru's avatar

@Darth_Algar: “She comes here asking for advice. She receives good, well-intentioned advice, but that advice isn’t what she wants to hear, so her response is “shut up”.

The GOOD, WELL INTENDED advice I responded shut up to: “It appears your mother would prefer that you join your cat in running away.”
“Objectively speaking, you’re fortunate that your mother doesn’t evict the 2 of you. ”

Lol. This is the dumbest “advice” ever.

This thread is just full of attacks from narrow-minded people who don’t question the values they are brought up with. American family value ideals which also lead the homelessness rates… My country, for homeless rates, is not even in Top 50. Suicide rates – not even at sight. Because we don’t raise kids and then treat them like materials, or force them to be parts of the system. Thats what families who lack in proper love and sense do. We treat them like human beings whom we will love and care for till we die – we dont kick them out when they turn 18 because money is what defines one’s identity. We encourage them to be independent, and believe me I am, I lived overseas in America for 8 years and I can think independently and survive without them. But our values… We don’t live by the shallow, materialistic rules you kept attacking me with here. And I’m thankful for that.

Cat came back, and I’m the best daughter my mother can ask for because I’m me and I care about things nobody in her family did. And I will be there for her till she dies unlike my brother, who makes 7 figures a year(you’d think he is the best!!!) and yells at her on the rare phone calls he makes.

I don’t even know the purpose of my question. I wrote it in a sudden moment of panic. I guess it showed me the types of people who are responding to questions here, so that’s good.

jca2's avatar

I’m happy the cat came back, @dopeguru.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I did not suggest that your parents “have a serious chat”with you. What on earth are you talking about? In the end, I stated that since you, your parents and the cat are all content with your 30 year old freeloading ass, it’s of no concern to me.

jca2's avatar

P.S. @dopeguru: We don’t kick them out when they turn 18
I can assure you that most kids in the US are not kicked out when they turn 18. They may go away to college but then are very likely to return to their parents’ home until mid 20’s or later.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@jca

Indeed. I lived with my parents until my mid-20s. However, I had a steady income and contributed to household expenses while I lived there. Even still, moving out was the best decision I ever made.

canidmajor's avatar

@dopeguru: 327 million people in the US, from literally hundreds of cultures, and you judge us all by the answers of ten or twelve people on this Q. That’s OK, all of you non-Americans tend to do that. (See how stupid that sounds?)

jca2's avatar

@dopeguru: It would be nice, if for sake of comparison, you tell us what country you live in.

Dutchess_III's avatar

That’s true @jca2. They may be at home in their 20s, but they’re expected to help with supporting the household, or at least provide for themselves while saving money for a car or something. They are expected to have the same manners as any other house guest in the world, and follow the rules of the house. If the rules say “No pets,” then you don’t have pets, period. Is that wrong, somehow?

I can’t think of any culture that encourages full grown, healthy adults to just sponge off of their culture while doing nothing to contribute. Who pays for the for the cat food that she just throws out into the street, encouraging every feral cat in town to camp out at her parent’s house?

LostInParadise's avatar

@dopeguru , We keep getting different stories from you. At one point you were living with your boyfriend. You were attending a university and trying to decide between sociology and philosophy. You were going to make a career of female empowerment. Now you are living at home working on an art project.

wazup?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think she’s a troll. She’s probably American and knows how to push American buttons so she does. End of story.

janbb's avatar

Glad you’re cat came back. To address the dilemma, i suggest that you keep him or her locked up in your room when you leave the house. The rest of your life is not really my business.

Stache's avatar

She say’s mother and not mum, so there’s that.

I agree with @janbb. Keep that cat in your room when you leave the house. The cat may not come back next time.

dopeguru's avatar

@lostinparadise haha yeah because people can’t do multiple things in their lives. I suppose in your world you live one place, go to school till you die, be with one guy/girl forever, etc.

LostInParadise's avatar

Are you still going to school? Did you graduate? Did you drop out? If you have no particular direction, it is difficult to give advice.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@LostInParadise I am not convinced that advice was the goal here. My take is that @dopeguru was worried and wanted to blow off steam.

flo's avatar

@dopeguru ”...in nowhere did I say I was behaving so rudely in my house”. It’s in yor post:
“I yell at her.”

Kardamom's avatar

The OP is either 30, or in her early 20’s. She wants to go to school to get a good paying job, or she wants to be an artist and not work or pay rent. She is a wonderful daughter, or she’s having indiscriminate sex with whomever comes down the pike. She wants a love relationship, or she is asexual and doesn’t believe in love, or sexual relationships. She’s perfectly fine, or she’s on Prozac and completely erratic. She has a husband, or is it a boyfriend?

This OP has said she is married and not married, mentally ill, and perfectly fine, super young, and a mature adult. She abhors relationships and love, yet she moans that she can’t find love or stability, even though she is erratic, and had to be medicated. She’s straight, she’s asexual, she’s bisexual. She wants to make money. She doesn’t want to work.

We are being played. It’s all spelled out in black and white in her Qs.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before but I once again made the mistake of not placing myself in the op’s shoes. I should have asked myself right off the bat “under what circumstances would I be living with my parents at age 30?” And immediately I felt rather stupid and ashamed. Because the most likely answer to that question has nothing to do with laziness or a shortage of ambition. I apologize to the op.

Response moderated (Flame-Bait)
Response moderated (Personal Attack)
stanleybmanly's avatar

Calm down. I said I’m sorry, and I have a feeling that the others will come to the same realization as myself upon reflection.

thywater's avatar

1— ok, I have to chime in cause I went to Columbia with her and we are from the same hometown and therefore culture.

2— in fact, I’m with her right now. we are drinking beers and developing belly fat in her family’s house. its her first time drinking in ages though. (she went to piss and shouted from the bathroom, “they’‘ll now say I’m an alcoholic”, so I am adding this.)

3— she recommended this website to me for getting help with a project. bad idea. no creatives here.

4— shes not lying about anything. why would anyone do that? what the hells wrong with you people and your accusations?

5— this thread reminded me of why I developed social anxiety 10 years ago. yall are insane.

6— we are both laughing at how you will probably accuse her of being an adulterer or a witch because she is sitting next to a boy.

7— I feel like a politician. may lord not bless you with any children.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Too late! The bulk of us have been so blessed. And you and your friend are examples of the great uncertainties involved with rearing children. You should rejoice in your great good fortune that most parents jump into the maelstrom of parenthood without regard to the odds.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Wait…your parents beat you but you’re still living with them when you can escape? That makes no sense to me. It must be stressful living like that.

@thywater As @stanleybmanly said, too late! I had 3 kids and now have 10 grandkids. Three of them are here now. One of them loves burned waffles and is now hiding in a box. They love it at gramma’s. Burnt waffles and boxes. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

jca2's avatar

@dopeguru: I don’t get the hostility coming from you. A bunch of people made the same suggestions, and you don’t like the suggestions (about moving out). Someone pointed out that your previous posts contradict each other (@kardamom) and that seems to upset you too. You’ve been responding with hostility for pretty much the entire thread.

You’ve been around a while now and you should know that on Fluther, since it’s a small community, people will keep track of who everyone is, what they’re up do (single, married, parent, job, etc.) and they will call you on it if they see something amiss.

LostInParadise's avatar

@dopeguru, I did not accuse you of lying.. I take you at your word. The problem is that from one post to the next we are presented with a completely different situation. There is no continuity, no there there. Who are you?

dopeguru's avatar

@jca2 Oh they suggested I move out? That’s great, that’s a good idea. I’ll consider it. It probably got lost inside all the false accusations and unnecessary ignorant projective attacks. I’m going away for studies soon anyway though, so that will be inconvenient. I’ll just talk to my mother, which seems like a better suggestion.

@stanleybmanly Lol, here he goes again!

Dutchess_III's avatar

They keep track of the things I said better than I do!

You’ve already talked to your mother. Nothing changed. Why would talking to her again be any different?
You haven’t said what keeps you from moving out?

dopeguru's avatar

@LostInParadise I’m sorry my life and posts aren’t in perfect continuity. For example, I had to update you with threads on why my marriage ended, so I earn your trust. Sorry I didn’t do that. But you shall remember that this is a Q&A website, not an effin blog.

dopeguru's avatar

@Dutchess_III What keeps me from moving out… I’m moving out of the country in 2 months. I’m also in love with my parents, even though we have arguments every once a while. They’re both like my best friends, and we don’t bother each other. Yes they caused me some trauma. But what am I gonna do about that? Hate on them forever? Also, I see them like once or twice throughout the day. I’m mostly working all day in my room. I don’t know why I posted this question. After two days I solved the question I asked initially – I’ll just try to handle it until I move away and as someone here said, put my cat in my room when I’m outside.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s kind of a cross between a Q&A and an effin blog.

Who’s going to take care of the cat when you leave?

dopeguru's avatar

@Dutchess_III My sis who initially found her.

flo's avatar

So, not yelling is rude, @dopeguru?

LostInParadise's avatar

@dopeguru, This is not a blog, but it is a community. We expect to learn something about the other people here to better ask and answer questions.

You’re leaving the country in two months? Do you think you should have mentioned that in your question? That changes the picture considerably. Maybe you are just playing us.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I think @dopeguru is going to go to Mars or . . or . . . the Sun, just saying.

She’s TROLLING ! ! !

Kardamom's avatar

Read ALL of her Q’s.

JLeslie's avatar

Did the car come back?

This Q got so long, and jellies were so busy piling on the OP (I’m not exactly sure why jellies were so harsh) and maybe somewhere in the thread it mentions the status of the cat, but I wasn’t inclined to search for the one sentence among all these paragraphs of criticism.

janbb's avatar

@JLeslie Yes – it did.

JLeslie's avatar

Thanks. Typo cat not car.

Stache's avatar

We are better than this, aren’t we? Even if she is trolling many of you decided to spend your time playing along. Honestly, I’m quite disappointed. Who cares if she’s trolling. What harm is there? We all have a choice of how to respond, if at all.

If she is trolling many of you gave her what she wanted, if she isn’t trolling then many of you were just being mean. I don’t blame the OP for getting hostile.

Patty_Melt's avatar

some of us apologized

Kardamom's avatar

This is just one of her Q’s that show how this girl changes her mind (and her story) with the wind. Read ALL of her Q’s. She’s playing us all.

https://www.fluther.com/212555/should-i-study-sociology-or-philosophy/

stanleybmanly's avatar

Think about what would more or less force you to live with your parents.

Kardamom's avatar

Being disabled.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Or your parents are disabled. How badly disabled would you have to be?

stanleybmanly's avatar

You come home to find your 30 year old feeding stray cats?

stanleybmanly's avatar

What if it isn’t just the cat that you have to worry about going outside?

Stache's avatar

@Kardamom who the f*ck cares? If you are so concerned why not take it up with the mods instead of derailing a question with your Nancy Drew instincts? Answer the question asked, flag it or move the f*ck along. Good grief. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

Kardamom's avatar

^^ As you can do too Stache.

Stache's avatar

I’m not not the derailing. You are off topic with your conspiracies.

flo's avatar

Is the cat’s freedom to come and go whenever, or “run away”, relevant?

Patty_Melt's avatar

I think OP is on time out from the computer again.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Stache I don’t think @Kardamom‘s points are a “conspiracy.” Look at her past questions.

BTW, How long have you had the cat @dopeguru?

Stache's avatar

^Past questions are irrelevant. I’ve seen Kardamom do this before as well. She derails threads by calling users out as trolls.

jca2's avatar

I just asked a q about it in Meta.

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