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Harper1234's avatar

Do you believe the more money spent on a wedding the more chance of divorce?

Asked by Harper1234 (829points) May 10th, 2019

I know a handful of couples that spent bundles on their wedding and they are not together anymore but I know more that went to the justice of peace and married and are still together. What do you think?

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20 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Till debt do us part. Starting a relationship with fiscal prudence is a good step to a happy marriage. Blowing a large wad of cash, and going into debt, is a bad start to a marriage.

jca2's avatar

I don’t know if a study has ever been done on this topic but my guess would be there is no correlation between money spent on the wedding and the length of the marriage. There are too many other variables that go into marriage and divorce.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Astute thinking @ReddeerGuy. It’s hard to predict.

Inspired_2write's avatar

I agree with @RedDeerGuy1

I would think if years later the couple are still paying off there extravagant wedding may be a strain on the marriage and thus some do Divorce because of that financial stress..

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Yeah, I do think so. Lavish weddings are a clue that someone in the relationship has selfish priorities, confidence/ego issues or in-laws on one side or the other are too invasive and share those qualities. However you slice it or dress it up, it’s not a good sign for the future of the relationship. The opposite is true as well, courthouse weddings are a bad sign too but for other reasons.

janbb's avatar

I don’t think there’s a correlation. Some people have money and want a large wedding, some just want a small or simple one. i don’t see it as indicative of compatibility or commitment.

elbanditoroso's avatar

It’s an interesting theory, but without some real counts and facts, it’s just guesswork. Anecdotes are not facts.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

It’s a bit more than just guesswork.

mazingerz88's avatar

Cynicism dictates the answer is yes.

Kardamom's avatar

The amount of money spent, is not the likely predictive factor. If a couple is rich, it is likely that they would spend more than a couple with less money.

The intentions of the couple (greed as opposed to giving their guests a joyful time) and the ideals of the couple (are they similar) and the backgrounds of the couple (are they similar, extremely different, or at odds with each other) and ultimate life goals (are they in harmony, or completely different) are more predictive of the couple staying together, or drifting apart.

Another good predictive factor is if one or both parties in a couple has cheated on their partners before. Cheaters tend to cheat more than once, no matter how much money they have, or don’t have.

filmfann's avatar

Since money is the most common topic married couples argue about, having a small wedding shows good financial sense, which would result in fewer arguments.

JLeslie's avatar

I doubt there is a correlation. Sounds like something people say to influence a couple not to spend a lot on a wedding, or to not feel badly that they didn’t have a lot to spend on a wedding. Kind of like it’s food luck if it rains on your wedding day. Make the bride feel a little better her outdoor wedding got screwed up, or that people had to come out for a party in the rain.

I don’t know how expensive is expensive?

Traditionally, the parents are paying for the wedding, so it seems like it wouldn’t have anything to do with the couples happiness. I have a cousin who had a really nice wedding, and they’ve been married over 30 years. I think the most expensive wedding I went to she left him on the wedding night. Went down to her parents room at the hotel and never went back. They had already been living together 6 months. Maybe if it had not been such an expensive event she would have cancelled it before, I don’t know. Everything was in motion. The second most expensive they have been together for 30 years. They were probably $50k and $30k respectively.

A woman I worked with told her daughter a few days before the wedding not to worry about the deposits already spent, if she wanted to cancel the marriage it was fine with them (both parents of the bride). I don’t think it was wildly expensive, but I’m sure it must have been several thousand. They divorced after a few years.

jca2's avatar

Many people who have expensive weddings can’t afford them, but many people who have expensive weddings can afford them and it’s expected in their social circle that they will have an extravagant one. A rich politician, someone who is “old money,” or someone like Donald Trump, they’re not going to have 100 guests at a country club for $100 a plate. They’re having the best of the best and they can afford it.

JLeslie's avatar

I find it interesting so many answers have to do with the couple paying. I wonder how many couples pay for their own wedding the last 20 years? Also, I’m pretty sure second marriages are more likely to fail, and those tend to be less expensive weddings, so if there are stats on money spent on weddings and divorce rates, I’d be interested in separating out first marriages and all marriages go see the differences.

Kardamom's avatar

@JLeslie, I can’t think of any couples that I know, in the last 20 years or so, who didn’t pay for their own weddings. Most of the people I know who got married in that time period, had been living together for awhile, and were independent of their parents. It wouldn’t make sense to have anyone but the couple pay for their own wedding these days.

Darth_Algar's avatar

It isn’t necessarily a matter of debt or lacking financial sense, but an expensive, extravagant wedding is often an indicator that the couple (or at least one of them) values materialism and/or projecting a certain image.

One couple I know: big, extravagant destination wedding held down in Mexico. I don’t know exactly how much it coast them, but it was in the tens of thousands of dollars. Marriage was over within two years.

Another couple I know: got married in a friend’s living room by a Justice of the Peace. Marriage lasted 40 years until one of them passed.

ucme's avatar

Just another of those bullshit theories spewed from the mouths of pseudo intellects.

JLeslie's avatar

@Kardamom It might have to do with where you live. Your state probably has an older average marrying age than states in the middle of the country. I think the older the couple the more likely they pay for some of the wedding. I’m just hypothesizing. I paid for part of mine; I think maybe that happens a lot also.

I think it’s more practical to help adult kids get started in their first apartment/house than to wait for them to get married. That used to happen all at once, but it’s different now. I think there should be house warming showers, even more important than wedding showers.

Harper1234's avatar

My 26 year old son is getting married Sept 21 and he and his fiance have saved up $4,000 for their wedding. They are going to have it at our farm so the venue didn’t cost but doing so much of the decorating themselves. I am proud of them. Hubbie and I got married 33 years ago in the pastor’s office then met our friends at our favorite Italian restaurant. My mom had us a small wedding cake and champagne when we got home and I have about 12 4×6 pics of it all in a little book. I remember how excited we were going to the mall to get our wedding bands. The diamonds came later on.

JLeslie's avatar

@Harper1234 Are you and your husband contributing to the cost of the wedding also?

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