Social Question

suzany094's avatar

If a guy likes a girl would he make her do something she hates?

Asked by suzany094 (27points) 2 months ago

Would he ask someone else to help him do it so he won’t bother her

OR

Would he ask her to do it anyway so he will have a chance to talk to her?

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37 Answers

Inspired_2write's avatar

Generally no.
The ..” make her do..” Is bothersome..sounds like abuse to me.
On the other hand “IF” she doesn’t like it then she won’t do it , plus leave that person as well.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m going to say yes. He can’t really make her, she can say no, but I think men sometimes don’t care she doesn’t want to do it, don’t believe her that she doesn’t want to do it, or don’t understand how uncomfortable she is doing whatever it is.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Well of course, most people are innately selfish and self-centered. If he likes it, he wants you to like it.

kritiper's avatar

Some will, some won’t.

jca2's avatar

I think it’s hard to say, because it depends on what it is and how he “makes” her.

Does he want her to see a superhero movie and she hates superhero movies?

Is it something sexual?

Is it something like visiting a relative of his who she dislikes?

Does he talk her into it? Is there force involved?

mazingerz88's avatar

Most likely yes and it’s also most likely the same as well if the situation is in reverse.

suzany094's avatar

@jca2 She hates translating but good at it, he knows she hates it so he asked someone else to help him translate. When he was asked why he didn’t ask her to help him he said he don’t want to bother her or make her tired. Does it mean he actually cares about her?

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Zaku's avatar

* No one should “make you” do anything. If and when they try, it’s important to call that out and shut it down.

* Guys (especially, young guys) tend to not be nearly as sensitive as girls about all sorts of interpersonal details and communication skills.

* Guys (especially, young guys) tend to be jacked up on puberty hormones and sexual objectification ideas from media and peers.

* Guys won’t know what hate unless you tell them, and they were listening and paying attention, and they remember.

* Girls (especially young girls, and girls without brothers) tend not to get how clueless and insensitive guys are.

* Different people are often very different in how they think about, act, and communicate in relationships.

* Many/most people (especially insensitive people (e.g. many guys), and young people who have little/no relationship experience) do not realize how others are different, are in denial about others having different relationship styles, think their way is the only way, the right way, or that others’ ideas of relationships are weird and/or wrong, etc. Many people assume that others think like they do, want what they want, etc.

* “Liking” someone can mean so many different things, that you can’t form any conclusion from it, at all.

* Young people in particular (and anyone who hasn’t developed good relationship skills, which tends to include most adults, too) tend to think and behave very weirdly and/or crazily around relationships. One of the most important parts of relating to someone is learning about how they are in relationships, which often takes years even for skilled adults, and which changes over time.

* “Would he ask someone else to help him do it so he won’t bother her”? From the above, it should be clear that anyone might or might not do anything. You’ll need to learn about the specific person and the specific situation in each case.

* “Would he ask her to do it anyway so he will have a chance to talk to her?” Again, everyone’s different, and people do all sorts of things, ranging from great to OMG WTF. Even people you think have been great for years may well pull some OMG WTF at some point. It’s up to everyone to learn what everyone they get into relationships are like in that relationship, and choose what to do about that.

* But ya, personally, I’d say “liking” someone means nothing. If I were a girl and a guy tried to “make me” do anything, he’d immediately get severe lessons in not to do that, which if he didn’t learn immediately, I’d have nothing to do with him.

snowberry's avatar

@suzany094 There’s no way any of us can know if he likes her, but we can assume from his actions that he is certainly considerate. That’s a plus any way you look at it!

stanleybmanly's avatar

How sadistic is the guy? How dumb is the girl?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I have to address this part of your detail: “Would he ask her to do it anyway so he will have a chance to talk to her?” Well, if he asks her to do something he KNOWS she doesn’t want to do, just as an excuse to talk to her, he’s going to crash and burn right off the top.

Kardamom's avatar

In general, a guy should not try to get a girl to do something she doesn’t like, but I’m not really sure of the specific situation to which you are referring, because it does matter. Maybe you can give us more information.

First of all, are you the girl, or the guy?

A guy should never try to force anyone to do anything. Especially when is comes to sex. He should also never try to make a girl feel ashamed, or stupid, or bad, or disloyal, or anything else, if she is not interested in having sex, or feels like she isn’t ready to have sex, or thinks she is too young to have sex, or believes that only committed couples should engage in sex, or believes that only married couples should engage in sex. No one should ever be forced, or cajoled into having sex, nor should they be made to feel bad because they don’t want to have sex.

But if a guy knew a girl wasn’t particularly interested in sports, but he asked her to go to a game with him (and offered to treat her) so that he would have a chance to hang out with her and get to know her a little better, that would be OK, and maybe the girl would end up enjoying the game more than she thought she would.

It would be OK for a guy to ask a girl to go see a superhero movie too, even if he knew that wasn’t really her thing (and offered to pay) and then said that next time she could pick the movie, and not balk if it was something that he wasn’t particularly into.

So it really does depend upon the specific people involved, and the activity in question.

MrGrimm888's avatar

If a girl likes a guy, will she make him move her furniture, even if he doesn’t want to? Yes. Will she care if he doesn’t want to, no…

Not everyone cares, if people want to do what they want. Male, or female….

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think the first thought that went through the women’s heads here was that he was going to pressure her into doing something sexual that she didn’t want to do.

MrGrimm888's avatar

My head, also went straight there. Some may see a difference, but I feel both genders are asked/expected to do things they hate. And both genders may suffer physically, and/or mentally from what the other is asking of them.

The only difference, to me, between taboo sexual behavior and manual labor is that some may (possibly) actually get some form of pleasure from the sexual stuff (not necessarily,) while moving a refrigerator on a hot summer day will NEVER, cannot ever, be remotely enjoyable…

Asking someone to do something that they dislike, in any physical way, is asking for sacrifice. It’s important to remember that sacrifice is usually a two way street, in a relationship. And to have perspective…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I found very hard physical labor (such as getting a washing machine down steep, rickety basement steps all by my self) to be satisfying.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Then you are the sickest jelly in this here pond;)~

Dutchess_III's avatar

Ha ha! And used to be one of the strongest! :D

snowberry's avatar

How many of you guys actually read the OP’s clarifying answer to @jca2? He asked her to translate, but she hates it, so he found someone else.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^My initial response was relevant. Then Dutch, and I went in a slightly different direction.

I also “bothered” to notice that the thread is in Social… And I also felt that the OP was a “ask n dash” jelly. Which, so far, has been the case…

Personally, when I feel the question has been adequately responded to, or if the subject was kind of boring, I will try to tease it off the rails a bit.

If you are unhappy, or upset, by me and Dutch’s responses, please contact the Mods. I thought our brief exchange was more interesting, than what appeared to be just another “does he/she like me” thread…

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

You mean like the dishes? I guess they can switch to paper plates. Or buy a dishwasher.

Dutchess_III's avatar

She reminds me of that one girl…what was her name? where all the men were always staring at her.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I think Sneki asked a question about guys staring at her, once. That was anomalous though. She usually didn’t ask about stuff like that. I haven’t seen her in the pond, in some time…

Dutchess_III's avatar

No, it was a girl who called herself “Heather.” I think she had numbers after her name. She asked about 3 questions and they were all the same question. Just different names and places.

MrGrimm888's avatar

That actually does ring a bell. Not sure though…

MrGrimm888's avatar

^It’s interesting how other cultures are. She clearly isn’t a westerner.
Regardless of the culture, apparently females have similar thought patterns, when it comes to the subject of people liking them.

Kardamom's avatar

@Dutchess_III Good sleuthing! This was the person I was thinking of, but could not recall the name.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I had to sleep on it. It was first thing on my brain this morning! I have no life.

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Gizzy11's avatar

First of all he can’t make her do anything. He can ask her to do it but in the end it’s her choice whether she does it or not. If he is wanting to talk to her he needs to find common ground for the both of them so they can have something to talk about.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Communication, is key.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Gizzy11 I don’t know what world you come from but men force women to do stuff they don’t want to do all the time. Not ALL men do this, but every woman here has in potential rape situations.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Thank god, that women never force men to do things they don’t want to do. Thank god, women don’t use men….~~~

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