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Dutchess_III's avatar

Have any of you women encountered posts that basically tell us to get over our "fear" of being attacked in certain situations, like it's all in our imaginations?

Asked by Dutchess_III (41813points) June 24th, 2019

I subscribe to a couple of camping pages, and one gal posted that we women need to get over our groundless fear of camping alone….WTH? You all know my stories of being attacked. How the hell does she figure those fears are “groundless”? They may not apply so much any more, but when I was young and hot, no way in hell would I go camping alone!

It also upsets me because there are someone women who are easily manipulated and they’ll just do it to rise to the bait..and they could get in trouble.

Each to their own. There were lots of women who do camp alone, but always in a populated camp ground. But I don’t think any one else has the right to label my concerns and fears “groundless,” especially when they’re based on experience.

Has any one else experienced this, and what are your thoughts?

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19 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

More than once on fluther it has happened.

In real life most people I know are similar to me. We try not to walk alone, we lock our doors.

As far as camping alone in a tent, I don’t think I’d do it. I’ll travel alone, but then I’m cautious about being out late when it’s dark. If I can I’d have a time to check in with a friend or my husband.

jca2's avatar

I’d try not to get upset about one person’s post or opinion. Maybe they’re deliberately trying to stir the pot by saying something opposite of what’s posted. Maybe they’re crazy. Maybe they’re clueless. I try to counter arguments with facts. I’d post a link if I had one, showing stats about crime and women being solo or something, or maybe I’d just not bother because this person with their outlying opinion is not worth my time.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Depending on where a solitary female is camping, other humans are only one of multiple animals that could harm them…

Cupcake's avatar

I have honesty never encountered that, but most all people in my life know that I was raped as a young teenager and got pregnant as a result, causing PTSD that I still occasionally deal with.

When camping with my family, I wake my husband up to walk me to the bathroom at night. Part of me feels silly, but I would feel way worse if I didn’t do that and something happened. An ounce of prevention…

Dutchess_III's avatar

@MrGrimm888 being raped by a reasonably intelligent human male vs mauled by a bear are two completely different categories of harm. Rape would do more harm psychologically than being mauled by a bear who is just doing the shit that bears do.

janbb's avatar

@Dutchess_III Is there an Option C? I don’t like either of the first two!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t like them either! But being attacked by a bear is the only thing that, to me, would be comparable.

Yellowdog's avatar

I tell people to NEVER underestimate the depravity of some criminal minds.

Not many people are bad, and even bad folks tend to leave people alone if they are not previously involved in some capacity.

But just to think what it takes for someone to violate or injure or kill another person, merely for the pleasure of doing so, or to take a few monetary goods, or for sexual assault and control, is beyond me. And though there are few of them out there, they are EVERYWHERE.

When I was last shot in a robbery there was no counseling my attackers, ‘welcome back kotter’ style. In their eyes there was nothing there. It was like a goat. They had no soul. They were automated killing machines in human bodies, Most people cannot even fathom harming or injuring another person. Think what kind of mind it takes to actually do this, These are dangerous folks.

Women have a right to be as attractive, as hot, as they want to be. Men do not have a right to ogle them. And no one has a right to force anything on them. Our society would be so much better off if we did not have these types of people walking free.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well….ogle away as long as you keep the ogle to yourselves.

Dutchess_III's avatar

The thing about male attackers, @Yellowdog, is they don’t really even have to be that far outside of what is considered normal. Somewhere they get the idea that women are only their for their pleasure. They don’t really deserve any respect or consideration. I mean, what the hell else was going through the neighbor’s mind when he attacked me when I was 13, after I got done babysitting his children, who weren’t that much younger than me? AND it was premeditated.

At least with a bear you can excuse it.

Yellowdog's avatar

When I was a teenager, I loved hanging out at shopping malls because the girls always looked their best there. Surely they wanted to be seen. I really didn’t know how to approach them or make the first move. But I could tell that they were creeped out when they knew they were being watched or stared at so I had to be discreet.

I am very sorry to hear that happened to you. I won’t ask for details. But you are not alone. This type of act is far from rare, I suspect it starts with guys just watching. Then maybe getting obsessed. But I cannot imagine what is going on in a person’s mind who fantasizes about it or actually contemplates doing it. And carries it out.

Bears can be driven off with loud noise or bright lights. I cannot imagine what goes on in their minds, either—what makes bears think they can maul us and kill out of anger just because we don’t have any food, or don’t want to hand our own supper over to them. But it is the same element that shot me in a robbery.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Of course we want to look nice…and the guys do too. I bet you spent some time on your hair and clothes before you went to the mall. That is just part of any society….looking nice in that society. It’s not an invitation of any kind except maybe to respectfully introduce yourself.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Just read in the news that a guy fired 3 shots into a car when this woman declined his advances. Hit her 10 month old in the head. Child should recover tho.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Dutch. I was just saying that being afraid to camp alone, as a female, was not an irrational fear. For more reasons than just being raped…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Thanks. I think so too.

MrGrimm888's avatar

When I camp alone, I have a pistol, multiple knives, and shotgun close… We worry about wild boar, alligators, snakes, and plenty of insects, camping around my area.

I know we technically have black bears here, by I’ve never seen tracks, or any signs of them.

I’m not sure if I’d even sleep somewhere, where there were like mountain lions, bigger bear species, tigers, lions, hippos etc…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Exactly @MrGrimm888. And it would piss you off if people called you a wimp for not camping ALONE in places where there are mountain lions and grizzly bears! It’s, duh, common sense.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Fuck yeah Dutch. Let those bad asses go spend the night with just a tent, and a positive attitude….

Dutchess_III's avatar

And some pepper spray….don’t forget the pepper spray.

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