General Question

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

Do you need proof that someone is harassing you, before getting a restraining order against someone?

Asked by Anonymousgirl88 (164points) 1 week ago from iPhone

So I have a few questions and need everyones opinion…

1. Do you need proof of harassment, to get a restraining order against someone?
(My mom said, witnesses are good enough- I don’t think so).

2. Can you keep the restraining order private from the other person?

Honestly, I don’t want the restraining order, my mom wants it
(against my ex- the guy I talked about a lot in previous questions- I said he was my friends ex, but he’s mine).
And I have a feeling everything is gonna be my decision ult, but i’m frustrated because my mom’s making it her decision. Were trying to break a lease and the landlord said that was how to break it.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

90 Answers

MrGrimm888's avatar

If he’s a problem, document every instance. It will build a history, that could help get a restraining order.

He’ll have to be aware of it. How else could he comply? If you were living together, that will complicate things. File police reports, on everything you.find threatening. Build your case.

If he hasn’t lived with you, you can potentially get a Trespass Notice placed on him, next time you call the cops. Then, at least he couldn’t show up at your dwelling.

If you’re genuinely being threatened, it’s time to start getting the police involved. Seriously.

jca2's avatar

The laws are probably different in different states.

Also, I know the laws are different depending on the circumstances. If you live with him (domestic) vs. if you don’t live with him. You can always call the police or DA and ask for advice. Also, your local court system (like Family Court) might have free legal advice. In the County I work in, they have a local university law school that has a Justice Center where they give free advice and help people get Orders of Protection (aka OoP or ToP – Temporary Order of Protection). I used to take moms there who had problems with the dads.

chyna's avatar

If there is really no reason to get a restraining order other than to get out of a lease, do not do this. Do not involve the police or courts. It’s not fair to the guy and it’s not fair to waste the courts time when they need it for real cases.
If, in fact, he is harassing you, he does need to know about a restraining order in order to honor it.

jca2's avatar

I live in NY so NY laws are the first thing that comes up when I google:

http://www.nycourts.gov/faq/orderofprotection.shtml

Darth_Algar's avatar

If you’re attempting to use a restraining order just to get out of a lease then that’s abusing the system, and damaging the credibility of it for those who have a real, legitimate need for it. Plus it’s a tremendously shitty thing to do to the guy and could have serious repercussions for his future.

jca2's avatar

You probably will be perjuring yourself in court if you get an OoP and you don’t really need one. It’s not a chance I’d take. The landlord sounds like an idiot if he is telling you this is what you should do to get out of a lease.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I needed proof in Missouri. Ended up calling cops without him knowing so they caight him on my property. Jailed the sob three times before he got the drift.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^That’s what you have to do. Make law enforcement aware of a person like this. Too many people don’t go to the cops, until it’s an uncontrollable problem.

The more you report them, the more weight of your argument. Document, EVERY single problem.

seawulf575's avatar

I’d talk to he cops or the DA to find out the rules in your area. I suspect that yes, you do need some semblance of proof. Witnesses are probably enough. That may not be true in all cases and you might be able to get a restraining order just on say-so, such as in the case of an ugly divorce. And no, you cannot keep it secret from the person you want to get the restraining order on. When you get a restraining order on someone, you are taking an action that will impact that person’s life and rights. This is not done for no reason. And that person needs to know the new rules if (s)he is expected to abide by them. You don’t have to let that person know you are taking the action of seeking a restraining order, but they will be served with the order if it is issued. The police typically do this notification.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Correct. Put his behavior on spot light. If the law gets involved, he will have no choice but to obey their restrictions on him.

dabbler's avatar

What would be the point of this?:
“2. Can you keep the restraining order private from the other person?”
The whole point of a restraining order is to put the person on notice that they cannot approach you according to the terms of the order.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Correct. A person on Trespass Notice, or other restrictions, MUST be aware, of their restrictions. Otherwise, they cannot comply.

jca2's avatar

But guarantee it will come out in court that this is under false pretenses.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

This is about the guy who use to rely on me for money that everyone was warning me about protection with, but had the son. Everyone- please read my previous questions, to get a better understanding of the situation.
Basically, it’s gotten as far as to him manipulating me and another girl to sign his lease with-out knowing till after, he barely let me in, even though my name was on the lease. And the other girl never lived there. My income wasn’t enough for the apartment for me and him. The other girl doesn’t talk to him anymore, blocked his number. Then we talked a few times after, then he got a 5 day notice because he was paying rent by himself, so the landlord said they would evict just him, but not me and the other girl, IF he doesn’t leave the apartment, but he DID leave. My parents hate the guy as well as all my friends, I mentioned that in the previous question.
And basically, my parents think he has more power over me then the other girl, so he use to mildly harass me for money (sometimes) and sex or a sexual activity he liked during for-play, he’s the guy my friends described as rapy, but I can see it now. And he lies a lot and is a manipulator, so I can’t tell, if he was being serious or not, but he told me many times this past week that I was harassing him, and he was going to go to the cops and file a restraining order. He doesn’t have the money for it and 2, I would know about it. I must admit, I did message him a lot after, but that’s because I was lashing out. I have a feeling, but i’m not sure, that he is mentioning me harassing, to get proof, so if he asks for money or does anything, he doesn’t get in-trouble. People also do desperate things in desperate situations and he will be in a desperate situation soon because of his track record, plus he doesn’t have his own place now, my mom said she heard his job MIGHT let him go as well.
What do you guys have a feeling his next move is??

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@seawulf575 – I know you gave good advice about him before and tried to get me to get the picture by saying, everything is centered around what HE wants and that’s why I needed to get the picture about what my friends think about him.

seawulf575's avatar

Time to just get rid of this guy. That time was actually long ago. Take him as one of those painful life lessons. He’s poison. You have an apartment now you have to deal with since your name is on the lease. Likely, the landlord will let you out of the lease, but he is under no obligation to do so. But as you said, the guy’s name is not on it. He can be evicted and tossed out on the street. He will likely blame you, but in the end, who cares what he thinks. If he harasses you, do as the other girl did and block his number. And somewhere along the line, apologize to your parents and friends for causing them so much worry.

jca2's avatar

If he continues to harass you, go to the police and let t hem know.

chyna's avatar

Get out of the lease and stop talking to him. Why are you still talking to him? Every one has told you to stop. Your parents, friends, people on Fluther. If none of our voices are being heard by you, then we can’t help you. Good luck because you are going to need it.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88

Simple question(s): do you have a legitimate need for a restraining order? If “yes” then file for one. If “no” than don’t.

Do you just want a restraining order in an attempt to break your lease? If “yes” then don’t do it. That particular suggestion by your landlord is an extremely bad idea and he’s an idiot for suggesting it.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

What is he trying to achieve when he mentions restraining orders?

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

My gut feeling- he’s trying to blame me and make me look at fault and trying to make me look like i’m harassing him, so he doesn’t get in-trouble and when he is in a desperate situation, he doesn’t get in-trouble for asking for money. I’ve been told by my mom and friend, he probably will lay low for right now but people do disparate things in disparate situations. Does my judgement on what he may be doing sound about right?

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 “What is he trying to achieve when he mentions restraining orders?”

What is who trying to achieve?

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

The guy I use to be with. I just explained the whole situation.

jca2's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88: This is what you wrote: “I have a feeling, but i’m not sure, that he is mentioning me harassing, to get proof, so if he asks for money or does anything, he doesn’t get in-trouble.”

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

Meaning- I have a feeling, he’s trying to make it look like i’m harassing him, so the next time he tries to harass me for money, he doesn’t get in-trouble. And that could be why he mentioned getting a restraining order.
Does that sound about right?

chyna's avatar

It sounds like you need to get as far away from him as you can.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 “The guy I use to be with. I just explained the whole situation.”

Yes, however, there are multiple figures mentioned in your tale here, more than one of whom mentioned restraining orders. It is helpful to specify which particular person you are referring to with a given statement.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@chyna what do you think he’s gonna do?

chyna's avatar

It sounds like if he doesn’t get his way, with you giving him money, attention, etc., he can possibly make your life miserable. The other girl had the right idea to stay away and to block him. Don’t play games with him or your life.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 “My ex”

Yes, we get that. My previous post was more of a “for future reference…” kind of thing.

You never addressed my previous questions though. Perhaps you overlooked them, so I’ll restate them here:

Do you have a legitimate need for a restraining order? If “yes” then file for one. If “no” then don’t.

Do you just want a restraining order in an attempt to break your lease? If “yes” then don’t do it.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@chyna – So ult, what your saying IS, he IS playing games
(when he mentioned getting a restraining order).
Do you think he’s gonna eventually try to ask for money again?

jca2's avatar

If he tries to get a restraining order against you, it will ultimately hurt him because he won’t be allowed to come near you to ask for money or harass you.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 “Yes and no”

So you were not being honest in your original post?

MrGrimm888's avatar

I’m more concerned about the OP’s wellness, than this financial stuff. Cut him completely oout of your life, and hope he moves on. If he shows up somewhere, call the cops, immediately. Don’t open the door for him, and consider his EVERY word I ploy, or a lie. He sounds potentially dangerous…

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@jca2 – I agree that a restraining order will hurt him. But why would he mention it? I’m just looking for good advice based off what everyone knows of him.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@MrGrimm888 – I also have to point out he’s a sociopath. He said he’s gonna change his email and block me from his phone tonight and I won’t ever be able to get through to him. How can you tell he’s dangerous? And based off what you know, are you sure I shouldn’t trust him, when he says he’s gonna block me? I’m looking for good advice. And I appreciate everyones advice so far.

MrGrimm888's avatar

He sounds like someone who does not know what they’re talking about. That doesn’t change the fact, that he could simply kill you. Law enforcement, is a reactionary team. That’s why you should build a case against him. Carrying out advanced measures against him, could only strengthen your case. I don’t care WHAT he’s told you. It’s probably wrong, and you need to start building a case, against him. But you have to have the strength, to build that case. Especially legally. If he’s had prior problems, with the law, there is more reason for him to leave you alone. You may even save, a future victim. Get as far away from him as possible. Make law enforcement aware of his craziness. Save yourself, and others. He may need to be incarcerated, or worse. Try to get him out of society. Like I said, he seems dangerous, to me.
Even getting him on probation, may benefit you, and others. FUCK him. Separate yourself from him. You owe it to yourself, and others. If he needs to rot in prison, then that is HIS problem. He sounds like trouble. Protect yourself, and maybe he’ll get the treatment he needs. But, it does not sound like he needs to be roaming the streets. My guess, is he ha deeper problems. Not YOU’RE responsibility, to keep him under control. Not YOU’RE responsibility, to keep him off of the streets. These are HIS issues. Let HIM take responsibility. Sounds like he will just find more victims. Let the law, do it’s job… Do you really want to be dead, because of a crazy man? He’s had his chances. Time to let more qualified people, decide, if he should be free. FUCK THIS LOSER…. It’s your decision though. Let him him potentially hurt people, or be in prison, where it sounds like he belongs. The life you save, could be your own. It’s not your fault he’s fucked up….

jca2's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88: If he got an restraining order against you, he wouldn’t have to mention anything because you would definitely know. As said above by several people, the person who the restraining order is against has to know so they could stay away. There is court involved, and all parties involved know what the rules are.

If he is harassing you but somehow got a restraining order against you (like if he lies in court and says that you’re the harasser), then the court tells you to stay away from him and also tells him to stay away from you. If one violates the order, the police can be called and one can be arrested, which involves more court and explaining why the order was violated.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@MrGrimm888 – I know he says he blocked me, last week he did and the message came up as,
“Were sorry, but your unable to reach your call,”
then he unblocked me and his phone kept ringing twice then went straight to voicemail, then this morning I tested it to see if he was lying, his phone still rang twice and went straight to voicemail, so the message didn’t come up as,
“Were sorry, but your unable to reach your call,”
but I can tell you, he deaf did block me last week, then did something different on his settings for sure.
I know he acts like he blocked me, but what do you believe his next move is??

jca2's avatar

If I were you, I wouldn’t be calling him or testing him or trying to figure out what he’s doing. Move on. Put your thoughts elsewhere. Too much drama. He’s garbage, you should be done with him.

jca2's avatar

And why did you lie in your post about the landlord recommending the Order of Protection?

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 “but what do you believe his next move is??”

It is pointless for those of us who don’t know the man to speculate about him.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

The landlord DID recommend an order of protection.

jca2's avatar

So you’re all looking to falsely pursue Orders of Protection against each other. Makes no sense. So much energy

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

It’s not false because he harassed me for money and it’s still a dangerous situation now.

chyna's avatar

But you keep calling him. You will appear to be the one who is harassing him. Leave him alone!

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

So let him get to me?

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@chyna – It goes both ways. When HE wants something, he harasses me. So what your saying is, if I keep calling him, I get myself into what ever situation happens next?

chyna's avatar

At this point I am thinking you must be a troll. No one is this dense.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

How is it coming across as dense?

Darth_Algar's avatar

There’s no way you’re ever going to get a restraining order if you keep contacting him.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Just seems, to me, the op still.wants to be with this guy.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

Sometimes, it’s harder for a girl to disconnect. I try to do the right thing, but we don’t live in a perfect world. I know everyone says to stop before something bad happens and it will, if you don’t stop. All I can say is some girls get stuck. Stuck is when you want to end the relationship/disconnect, but you don’t for some reason.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

I just hope i’m able to cut him off and not let him in/try again. It’s dangerous now, like you said.

jca2's avatar

Block his number, @Anonymousgirl88. Easy peasy.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@jca2 – What do you mean by, easy peasy?

Gizzy11's avatar

Yes I would think you would need some kind of proof even if it’s just a witness.No you will not be able to keep it from him, why would you. Also he will be served by someone on law enforcement.

jca2's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 You wrote above that he harassed you for money and it “is a very dangerous situation now.” If you block his number, he can’t contact you. If he came to your house looking for money, you could call the police. Easy solution. If he tried to get a restraining order, there would be no phone calls from you to him on his phone to show the police.

snowberry's avatar

@Anonomousgirl88 A year ago I was trying to help a friend. Her ex was clearly unstable, and possibly dangerous. They were in the middle of a divorce. He left, leaving much of his things behind, and that made her living situation uncomfortable. She couldn’t throw it out because she had to wait for the court people to go through their process, and tell him to remove his things from the apartment.

We went over and helped her box up his stuff. We stacked it to the ceiling behind the living room furniture. It made the living room pretty crowded, but it was temporary, and we encouraged her to stay busy and work around the problem.

Somewhere during the divorce, he got a restraining order against her. She seemed puzzled by why he’d do that, and we were too.

Then we learned that she saw him in his car in a parking lot, and started tapping on the window, telling him to get his stuff. Right then she violated the restraining order against her!

When we demanded to know why she violated the restraining order, she didn’t seem to understand: “All i was doing was trying to get him to get his stuff out of my apartment!”

You remind me of her. You can’t seem to let things alone. From what I can see, you’re hurting your case by obsessing over details (calling /texting to see if he’s blocked your number, etc).

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88

Hard or not you can forget about the restraining order until you do break off all contact.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

My mom made me go to therapy today and the therapist told me,
“You don’t have to do this, but I have a homework assignment for you. I want you to block his number and delete it, so your not temped to reach out to him and he can’t get through to you when he does. Because he’s gonna try to real you back in.”

snowberry's avatar

^^ Excellent advice! Do it!

MrGrimm888's avatar

Sometimes, you can change a person’s contact ID, to something like ASSHOLE. It may he you realize that you have a preconceived/correct notion of the person. And therefore, reduce the chances of contact.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@MrGrimm888 – what do you mean? I’m not understanding.

MrGrimm888's avatar

If what you are saying is true. You don’t understand why this man should be held accountable. OR. YOU, are still enchanted by him. Those are the only two conclusions, that I can infer…

You’ve been calling him. My bet is, you’ve been checking his social media stuff too. Just a guess… You are playing a role in this game too… To a degree, I understand that.
But, you are clearly not wanting this relationship, to just end…. IMO…
And THAT is why, it will not end well. According to your accounts, it’s ALREADY OVER. Move on, or continue to be his latest victim, or worse.

You’re asking for advice, well…. There it is….

jca2's avatar

If you’re in a volatile relationship, threatening each other, fighting with each other, making up, stalking each other, harassing each other, at some point someone is going to cross a line and then you’ll have involvement from the police or courts, even if that’s not your plan.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@MrGrimm888 – What do you mean by, his latest victim or worse? Victim of what?

MrGrimm888's avatar

I will explain no further. I hope you don’t ever understand what I mean. But if you keep it up, you’ll know what I meant.

Advice has been given. Now it’s up to you….

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

Advice that he’s dangerous and to stay away from him.

JLeslie's avatar

I’ll just be another voice to say stay away from him. Block his number, and then if he tries to contact you in some other way, then get the restraining order. He most likely will just move on after he is not getting any response from you. Hopefully, that is what he does.

I don’t fully understand the lease part. Were you living there? You moved out? Just he lives there? I must have missed some detail when I skimmed the thread. If you owe money on the lease and are not planning to pay, the landlord can come after you for the money. He might not bother if he can rent the place right away and has a security deposit. If this guy you were dating is still living there, then maybe he will get a roommate.

Do you work? Are you in school? Can you leave town for a month, and get a change of scenery. Visit an aunt or a friend?

You have to stop engaging with him. It will be very hard for you to emotionally separate if you keep engaging.

He is a bad guy. He is pressuring you to sign things, have sex, give you money, just imagine if a friend of yours told you all of this? You would tell her to get away from him. I know how hard it is, but you have to do it.

If you get an order against him he will know, because he has to be told so he knows to stay away from you. If he breaks the order he can be arrested.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

I lived there for 2 weeks in April, but he was mostly the only one living there. He moved out to avoid eviction. But the landlord broke the lease. I work full-time. He has my number “blocked,” but my therapist even suggested for me to block him and she said he’s gonna try to real me in.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

My mom once said to me, “You have no idea of the situation you are about to enter with this guy and how bad it’ll be.”

jca2's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88: Whoever signed the lease, if they left before the lease ended, they are the one who broke the lease. If your boyfriend signed the lease and left early, he broke the lease, not the landlord. If you signed the lease, and left early, you broke the lease, not the landlord. In your original details you said the landlord is advising you that a restraining order is how you get out of a lease. It sounds like you are the one with the lease, therefore, you will be breaking it.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88

Is your name on the lease or not?

JLeslie's avatar

If I understand everything correctly, and I don’t think I do, the landlord is saying he’s going to sue for what he is owed, and if you can prove you had to leave the apartment for your safety, then he can probably go after your ex for the whole amount, otherwise you are implicated in the suit and will owe money too. No matter what you are implicated if you signed the lease.

Has your ex actually threatened you? Are you going to say he raped you? It sounds like he manipulated you for sex? If you do that you start a whole host of things. If you accuse him of something like that the state takes over, he will be arrested, and you don’t get to decide to move forward or not, it is the state that presses charges against him. I’m not telling you not to do it or to do it, I’m just making sure you know that if you go to the police and you are reporting a crime, they can choose to pick him up and arrest him.

Never sign ANYTHING unless you are willing to pay. Don’t co-sign for parents, children, boyfriends, friends, NOBODY. This experience may have saved you from a much bigger mistake in the future. I have a friend now in her 50’s who put half a house in her boyfriend’s name, and he has left her for another girl. His name is on the deed of the house! They didn’t live there full time, it was a vacation home. I know that will never happen to you, because of what you are going through now.

Did the Landlord rent out the apartment again? If he did, and only lost one or two months rent, you might be able to work out a deal with him and pay something reasonable and get him to sign a document accepting the money and waving his right to sue you. You have to get a WRITTEN DOCUMENT and must be SIGNED by him, if you do a deal like this. But, maybe he will never sue you in the first place.

This is a Judge Judy case if I ever saw one.

When you left the apartment you hadn’t gone to the police about your boyfriend, so going to the police now might be considered after the fact. Plus, you said he blocked you. So, are you the one contacting him? I think your case is very shaky. Abused women often still engage, but if you are going to want an order against him you have to show that you don’t want any contact with him at all.

By any chance were you under 18 when you signed the lease? How much rent is owed, and what is the limit in small claims court in your state?

It was inevitable this guy you were seeing was going to cost you time and money and heart ache. I’m sorry you are going through this. Try to fave it head on and get it over with. Be strong. Listen to your therapist and mom. They both care about your well being, and they have seen things like this many times. They know the pattern.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

My name is off the lease. The landlord found someone to rent the apartment. He was never violent or threatened me, except for threatening the end of the relationship several times (emotional abuse). He never actually raped, but he did manipulate me for sex, yes. I’m above 18.
@JLeslie – I do plan on listening to my mom and therapist. Is my therapist right to say he will try realing me back in?

JLeslie's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 He will if he thinks he can get something out of you, or if his current girl gets boring or leaves him. Or, he might do it just to feel powerful. Unless, he thinks being near you puts him at financial risk, which it sounds like he might be thinking that.

He will always protect himself over everything. He can always find another girl, he has no loyalty to you. Sorry to be so harsh. I’m sure he liked you, but he likes a lot of girls. I know the type all too well. They just move on to the next.

By contrast, there are plenty of men with real integrity, who would never want to take advantage of you. You just have to make honesty and patience a priority for you.

If you had been under 18 when you signed the lease you wouldn’t be legally liable, so I was just curious.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 “My name is off the lease.”

Then there is no lease for you to break. Regardless of whether or how long you lived there, the only parties responsible are those who signed the lease.

JLeslie's avatar

Wait, your name isn’t on the lease?

I’m so confused.

I think this Q might be a hoax of sorts.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@JLeslie – My name was on the lease, now it’s off. The lease was broken. My mom asked her lawyer what to write the landlord and after she emailed the landlord what her lawyer told her to write, the landlord said he found someone to rent out the apartment.
There was another girl on the lease, but she now wants nothing to do with him, so he already lost 2 girls from his life. Me and the other girl communicate from time to time about the situation and she keeps saying, “I hope you heal from this. I’m not looking back or going back to him. I hope you don’t either.”
My mom said, “When people are in a desperate situation, they do desperate things,”
meaning, she thinks when he is in trouble and loses his job, needs money, exedra- he’ll try to reach me.
Is my mom right to think that?
I feel like he thinks he can get away with blocking me, then he thinks i’ll come crawling back to help him when he needs something, if that’s true, he is about to learn very quickly that’s not going to be the case and that I have my limits.

JLeslie's avatar

If a new lease was drawn up and you are not on that lease then you don’t have any responsibility for the lease, unless I guess the landlord can try to say your lease was still in force. You have no proof your lease was terminated I guess.

How long ago did your ex stop paying the landlord? Is it actually the landlord you spoke to? Or, is it a property manager?

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88

If you name is off the lease then why is the landlord telling you how to break it? If your name is off then there is no longer any lease to break.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

He stoped paying last month. And I spoke with the property manager. And he finally stoped telling us how to break it.
I think my mom has an in-stink that the relationship will end badly too.
My mom said to me a few months ago,
“You have no idea of the situation your getting yourself into with this guy.”
And mom have special in-stinks.
Although, me and him are not on good speaking terms, so idk what kind of situation that is.

chyna's avatar

I think my mom has an in-stink that the relationship will end badly too.
It’s obvious that it has already ended. You need to move on.

JLeslie's avatar

Ok, so not the actual owner, and they rented out the place.

The owner might not come after any money, he didn’t lose much.

Just focus on other things. Work, school, friends, take a vacation. Block him on your Facebook, block his number. You have to get over him, which might not be easy at first, but in time your new normal will be without him.

Your mom’s instinct might actually be experience.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

I agree. I can’t see it getting any worse then it already has.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@chyna – What did you mean when you said, good luck and that i’ll need it?

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

My friend said- I’m giving him power, if I reach out to him and that it’s like a drug addict talking to a drug dealer.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther