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chyna's avatar

The Dayton, Ohio shooter and his sister had their obituaries in the paper today. Was it ever established that the sister was transgender?

Asked by chyna (43263points) 1 week ago from iPhone

The parents listed the sister as a female, yet some people came out immediately after the shooting to profess her as transgendering to a male. I have not heard if that was true or not. I ask only because I was smacked in another thread for people saying this before the parents were aware of it, if true.

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13 Answers

wiscoblond's avatar

I only know that his close friends outed him to the media because they didn’t want him to be dead named in the press. Dead naming is horrible for transgender people.

It was reported he did have accounts on sites with his chosen name. Apparently his family didn’t know and it sounds like for good reason. This is why they used his birth name in the obituary.

canidmajor's avatar

It’s not dead naming if the person isn’t officially out, especially not to family.

wiscoblond's avatar

Read the article. Yes it is.

A representative from the National Center of Transgender Equality, Gillian Branstetter, spoke with Teen Vogue about how this kind of media coverage surrounding trans people is actively harmful toward the community. “Using the right name and gender of a transgender person is crucial in life or in death,” she said. “Doing otherwise not only negates a personal and crucial aspect of their identity but can effectively erase their existence as a transgender person.”

wiscoblond's avatar

@canidmajor I know you want to be an ally but you aren’t being one here. This is about Jordan and his true identity. It is not about his parents.

canidmajor's avatar

After this came out a few days ago, I talked to my friend about this very thing. She runs a an outreach center in a nearby city for teens and young adults in various stages of transition, and has for about ten years, now. If someone is officially out and not named correctly (we discussed this issue specifically) it is, indeed, “dead naming”. If not, then it is a very gray area, as the person may not want to distress loved ones even further than they are by the death itself. Maybe the immediate family wasn’t, or wouldn’t be, receptive, but extended family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles etc) might be much loved by the deceased, who would have no wish to make their suffering greater by the press’ oft prurient handling of such news.

And yes, this friend is, herself, a trans woman, who recognized that her life was in danger and had thought a great deal about this exact subject, and counsels her groups about it.

LadyMarissa's avatar

This is what was reported by the Washington Examier as reported by a close friend. I always feel sorry for the parents of the shooter as they find out everything when we find out everything…plus they are living with the terrible things that are being said about the person they loved.

chyna's avatar

I have to say I see @canidmajor‘s answer as being in line with how transgenders that are not out would feel about their families if they died before coming out.

wiscoblond's avatar

I’ve spent over two years in the community listening to stories from transgender people about dead naming. I visit the group daily. There may be a few who wouldn’t want to be outed after death but the overwhelming majority would want it. I asked my group that consists of over 9000 parents and guardians of transgender children, many of whom are transgender themselves, and only a few disagreed with the outing of Jordan.

wiscoblond's avatar

A few other things. They are transgender. Not transgenders. Transgendering is also incorrect. Transition would be the appropriate word.

chyna's avatar

@wiscoblond Thank you. I wasn’t sure I was using the correct terminology.

kritiper's avatar

Is it really important? If so, maybe all transgender (and others) be listed in the papers and media so that everyone may know who they are.

JLeslie's avatar

@wiscoblond So, the plural of transgender is transgender? No s?

I’d it preferable to say transgender people, rather than just transgender?

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