General Question

wiscoblond's avatar

Why would one get pleasure in arguing and toying with others?

Asked by wiscoblond (1608points) 3 weeks ago from iPhone

Just something I’m curious about. There are many people like this on the internet and in real life.

What do they get out of it? Are they lacking something in their life?

(I’ll be away from the internet most of the day. I’ll look at your answers later.)

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27 Answers

kritiper's avatar

A superiority complex thing, to show their better than you, and/or they are naturally confrontational.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Entertainment mainly. Boredom is a huge factor. Also they can derive a sense of power from it. Needing that signals a lack of satisfaction with life off the web. Also signals immaturity.
Some people are just sociopathic and trigger it intentionally because they can’t help themselves.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I second boredom and immaturity, combined with the anonymity of the internet.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

It’s a form of validation simply reminding them they are alive. They most likely lack validation for their existence, or they were neglected as children and didn’t receive a lot of validation from their parents.

rebbel's avatar

Of course it is hard to prove that someone is doing just that (online, that is, especially); toying with others (for the sake of toying).
And arguing doesn’t, in itself, have to be bad, or done for ‘toying sake’.
After all, one is arguing with a someone if arguments are used doing so, I think.

As for people who do indeed toy with others (knowingly get the other’s person’s panties in a twist): typical bully behavior, I would think.
Maybe they come from an environment where this behavior was a standard.
Maybe they haven’t learned to treat their neighbors as their selfs (selves?)
Or maybe, in some cases, they know exactly how normal discourse should go, but they get a kick out of it.
I must say I recognize the urge sometimes, especially with someone I don’t agree with, or someone I dislike, but I refrain from it (as much and as good as possible).

Dutchess_III's avatar

Another reason is they aren’t all that smart, but they’re desperate to convince people that they are.

kritiper's avatar

(OOPS! I incorrectly spelled “they’re” in my last post.)

JLeslie's avatar

Don’t care about the golden rule.

Lack of empathy.

They saw their parents do it and think it’s normal.

Feel very little control over their own lives.

Makes them feel clever.

Mean spirited. (Some people seem to get a thrill out of hurting others, they constantly convive to do new things).

Mental illness. Not that the average person with mental illness is likely to toy with people, only that it can be a reason someone does it, like being a sociopath or narcissist for example

Sometimes I think people can feel toyed with when the other person wasn’t trying to toy with them. Sometimes we don’t know or understand how things sound or the perspective of the other person and we unknowingly hurt another.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I second Makes them feel clever..

janbb's avatar

I think many people enjoy the catharsis of venting on the internet and think it does no harm. Actually the whole tone of society is lowered by the nastiness.

Lightlyseared's avatar

I’m assuming you have not met ‘people’ before?

MrGrimm888's avatar

I wouldn’t say, that I like arguing. But I am an admitted cage rattler. I want people to be passionate, and genuine, when engaging them. So. Many times, I’ll be a little offensive, to get someone to show some personality…

flo's avatar

@wiscoblond Some people like to hear about only one side, i.e theirs, (and if that includes me, ours) that’s it. Do you have an example what you’re referring as ’‘toying’’?
How do you want people to verbalize it if you happen to be wrong about something, other than argue/debate?

Dutchess_III's avatar

People who deliberately say things to annoy and upset others is toying with them.

flo's avatar

Whether it’s annoying or not, whether the argument is presented for the purposes of ’‘toying’’ or not, might be subjective. One person may find a statement too challenging so is annoyed by it. Another not so much.

flo's avatar

..For example I can’t call any person ’‘they’’, because that’s not a name, everyone has a name.
If it’s about referring to a person, it’s still the name of the person, and if the speaker forgets the name of the person, there is the title of the person, (’‘the manager’’, ’‘my colleague’’, if there is only 2 staff members.) There is no need to confuse people (fake news) by saying, for example, ’‘They’’ (2 or more people) just left.’’ Only one person left.

rebbel's avatar

@flo You are toying with us now, right?~

flo's avatar

How about if someone suggests to call him/her by the color of her/his hair or eyes, or size of his/her feet etc.?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I guess I’m 7 to you @flo. But so are a lot of other people, so calling them by the size of their feet isn’t a very good idea.

janbb's avatar

^^ Anyone else having trouble following the turns this convo has taken?

rebbel's avatar

@strawberryblondsize6 Mwah…

flo's avatar

So, I guess it only calling and referring to someone by size her/his feet, that is not a good idea. referring to him/her by the colour of hair, eyes, favorite food, incorrect pronoun, good idea.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Then I’m Blue Eyed Brown Haired Crab Legs He now.

flo's avatar

…even correct pronoun, never mind incorrect.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Blue Eyed Brown Haired Crab Legs She?

flo's avatar

Announcement “I got nothing.”

Response moderated (Spam)

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