General Question

honeybun35's avatar

How do you know when a man is testing you?

Asked by honeybun35 (230points) 2 weeks ago

Just want reasons and why. Some say that men say and do things to females to make her react but not exactly sure if that is a test or not.

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18 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sure, narcissists do it all the time, it’s called manipulation and the more feels you have for them, the easier you are to manipulate into doing exactly what THEY want you to do.

Don’t you think you deserve better than that? Someone who showers love and affection on you, treats you kindly, cares about YOUR needs?

You don’t have to pass any tests to be worthy of love.

rebbel's avatar

Yeah, they do(n’t).

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stanleybmanly's avatar

Rather than “testing”, I believe you mean “toying” with you, as in a cat with string. In fact the metaphor is so perfect in your case, that you should change your tag here to “strung out”. The object of your obsession probably finds it remarkable that ANYONE would tolerate their heart being slapped around by a loser such as himself. Why do some cats play with their victims? Frankly, you shouldn’t care WHY. Curiosity or honing his hunting skills, it’s your heart he dangles from that string. It’s disrespectful, and worse, it’s unnecessary cruelty. I’m not sure you’re doing us any favors in asking us to watch.

honeybun35's avatar

So this is a cat and mouse game. You gathered that from my threads? He is a long time friend though and we just happened to have sex. He thought I was sleeping with someone else when he didn’t hear from me. I know we are not a couple but why play cat and mouse for what?

stanleybmanly's avatar

Ask the cat. Better yet, ask yourself, “would we be longtime friends without the sex? Be honest with yourself, then proceed accordingly.

kritiper's avatar

Women test men but men don’t test women. You give us men what we want or we don’t come around…

KNOWITALL's avatar

@kritiper keeping it real lol

kritiper's avatar

I can’t help myself…

Inspired_2write's avatar

“Women test men but men don’t test women.
You give us men what we want or we don’t come around…”

Good for that too!
It helps to narrow down the undesirables.
Keep going as there are always another bus load of better men arriving.

kritiper's avatar

“Keep going as there are always another bus load of better men arriving.”
Those busses are very small and they don’t come around all that often.
We men are what we are, like it or not, take it or leave it.
Sorry. More honesty…

Inspired_2write's avatar

@kritiper
Leave those players in the dust.
Yeah well women who know there value work on “their goals” and in that process find better mature minded men in the process, we can wait for the others to grow up.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Inspired_2write I think he’s just trying to be honest to answer the Q, no need to bust his balls just for saying it. Frankly he’s not wrong. You wait on the perfect man and you’ll wait a long time, maybe forever.

stanleybmanly's avatar

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. All I see in the honeybun saga is the age old question of “why isn’t he as madly in love with me as I am with him?” To which the answer is unknowable as well as irrelevant. If honeybun is looking for more than a friend with benefits, she clearly needs a new friend. After 18 years, the expectation of her current friend changing his ways sounds problematic to say the least. The reason her current friend suspects that she might be having sex elsewhere is because in his mind she would be crazy not to be doing exactly that.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Yes but he saw her on a date and was a bit of a brat. Sounds like jealousy. Who knows, we only know her side. Overall the recommendation to have an honest convo is most logical.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Of course she should lay it on the line instead of singin the blues here.

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