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emorris24's avatar

Tips for a first date?

Asked by emorris24 (101points) 3 weeks ago

I am going out in a 1st date with a extremely gorgeous woman tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice or tips that could help me not fuck up a relationship for once?

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12 Answers

MrGrimm888's avatar

Be yourself. Don’t bring up any negative aspects of your life… Yet. Unless asked specifically. Dishonesty, is no way to start any relationship.

Good luck.

filmfann's avatar

Keep it simple. Small quiet restaurant, ice cream after (many women feel safer with guys who eat ice cream), maybe bowling or a zoo.

flutherother's avatar

Arrive on time and take it easy. Describing her as “extremely gorgeous” suggests you may be a little intimidated by her. Remember what a beautiful woman once said: “Isn’t it the other that gives me this beauty?” Perhaps you can find something you both enjoy doing and suggest going together.

Darth_Algar's avatar

This is confusing. You’re going on a date? From your other post it sounds like you’re in some kind of medical or psychiatric care facility, perhaps involuntarily.

emorris24's avatar

@darth_algar I am indeed in a psychiatric home called an LTSR which stands for Long Term Structured Residential but I’m not here for psychiatric reasons and I’m allowed to go on day passes which means I’m allowed to leave everyday from 9am – 9pm as long as I go with someone and not just take off by myself, although unfortunately I’ve been in and out of these kind of places since I was 12 years old due to a 12 year abuse period. @flutherother ur right because of being molested for 12 years and I’m 11 days from turning 25,I’m intimidated by any women until I get to know her much less one that is exactly everything i look for in a potential female romantic partner. When I met my deceased fiance I was so scared I was used to girls like her using me for a laughing stock of more than 1,000 students but right from the start she cared and she’s and my paternal grandmother are the sole reason I ever got away from the abuse. If u guys ever get a chance check out my book that’s going to be published in the year that tells the story of when we met all the way to the after effects of her and our daughter deaths I think it is called the love ballad of Eric Morris. But the reason I’m in here is like I said previously in other posts the I was recently given a violation of probation for shit I didn’t do, I’m just unfortunate enough to have a mental health team who all get paid $17/hr + pay for when they are on call for crisis’s and all have at least masters degrees in the mental health field but don’t know that just because someone who is on meds that make their other clients sleep until sunrise everyday don’t mean someone who is taking the same medicine and takes it every day but 1 day is upset and stressed and can’t sleep and calls crisis at 5:30am didn’t take their medicine the previous evening. I have 4 years of proffesional experience in the mental health field but no degree and never took any psychology or social work classes and I know that like I said just because I’m up at 5:30am don’t mean I didn’t take my meds, so I’m here because I have no place to go and won’t until probation clears me to leave and because I’ve lived in 2 apartments for a combined 27 days. I had no living skills upon admission, I was lucky to get 1 shower every couple weeks because I just couldn’t stand to be in the water enough to get clean because I kept having flashbacks, I have no idea how to budget money like my payee recently gave me $700 to make some room in my account and I was down to pocket change in a few days, I had no clue how to do laundry because I was so used to it being done for me and I was never taught how to use laundry equipment. Now after being here close to 7 months I maintain a clean room, I shower at least every other day without flashbacks sometimes I have gone close to a week with showering daily and washing Everytime, which is a huge improvement compared to coming out of jail February 7th, I do my laundry at least 3 times a week and I’ve made improvement in budgeting by buying the cheap brand of whatever I’m buying and I don’t blow $25 multiple times in a week by spending money on items like countless games, movies, CDs, etc.

anniereborn's avatar

If this woman doesn’t already know the type of facility you are in, you should tell her before the first date. Otherwise it’s gonna bite you in the ass later. If she is also in the same facility as you, I would suggest taking a “mental vacation”. Meaning when you are out talk about things not related to your situations. Talk about interests and things like that.

ucme's avatar

If she makes a grab for your gentleman sausage, enjoy but act shocked & flustered.

emorris24's avatar

This girl is a straight from high school college graduate who worked at the same company directly in constant contact with me the that I worked for. A position in the mental health field that doesn’t require a degree it only lasted for about 4 and a half years until the company closed down state wide. It was a Pennsylvania runned program that I believe is not known outside Pennsylvania state limits. Anyway we worked together for the duration of the program that lasted in my county we both knew we liked the other and that they knew it but due to company policy if we wanted to date one of us had to give up our job and when we had the talk about it I told her from the beginning that I wasn’t going to ruin her career over us and that I would quit and she made it clear and wouldn’t budge an inch that I wasn’t going to quit just to be able to make her feel like a queen (that’s what I do with my women, lol) so we ultimately decided to keep a proffesional relationship then when the company closed we lost contact and she recently spotted me on Facebook and wasn’t really sure it was me becsuse I was in good enough shape to be a good enough linebacker to earn myself a full ride to the University of Pittsburgh but she said something inside her told her to make contact anyway and we’ve been texting all day every day practically and in the last few days started video chatting which could cause a lot of trouble between us due to the facility I’m in and I made it clear from day one that I was in a psychiatric home and I tried to explain why and she stopped me instantly and told me she didn’t give a fuck what the reason was she knows my background better than most if not all of my therapists and that she didn’t need to know and that we would discuss everything that happened, because I told her I’m not the person I was half a decade ago and that I technically should be in prison for involuntary manslaughter and attempted sexual assault again she said we’d get to that when the time is right and that she understands (NOT EXCUSES) why I would’ve attempted to force a woman to have sex with me and she knows that just by how hateful I am towards myself that I’m remorseful and acknowledge it was wrong that I’m not that person anymore which if u ask me I’m closer to being that person that she feels I am.

anniereborn's avatar

I don’t think any of us have the wherewithal to give you advice on this. It’s waaaaay beyond our scope of experience and knowledge. Good luck though.

kritiper's avatar

“Instead of looking for something hasn’t done before, ask her what she wants to do. Find out what you have in common.
Don’t go someplace just to please her.
Do not take a first date to a party full of your friends. Your date may not be ready for your friends. She doesn’t even know if she’s ready for you.
Try harder than the generic dinner and a movie. She may take your lack of creativity as an indication of what you think about her.
Dinner: Who pays.
Some women are impressed when a guy offers to pay. Others are offended, figuring this may translate into some kind of coercion for a kiss (or more) later on.
It is permissible to offer to pay the bill. If she doesn’t argue, fine. If she snatches the check out of your hand and throws a $20 bill at you, you’re going home alone. Be thankful you have pets.
If you are splitting the check, do not whip out a calculator and figure what she owes you to the penny. Do not start negotiations by saying, “Since I only had a sandwich….”
If you’re paying, pay Don’t hint at how expensive it was. She knows how expensive it was.
Pay attention to your date and notice the food. ... Converse throughout the meal but don’t ask her a question right after she’s taken a big bite of something.
Dress for success.
Men worry too much about their clothes.
If you arrange to meet a woman directly after work, don’t confuse her by changing out of your work clothes.
For casual dates, know your style.
Date stoppers.
Do not fill in lulls in the conversation with a blow-by-blow account of what you did at work that day.
If you have serious knowledge of computers, keep it a secret.
Learn to tell an anecdote that takes less than 10 minutes, that isn’t about sports and that has a beginning, a middle and an end.”
– these excerpts copied with some insignificant editing from the article “The Rules of Dating” by Tracey Pepper, PLAYBOY magazine, July 1994

This should help on that first date.

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