How do you move past a terrible past?

Like I’ve said before in previous posts, I have done a lot of things in my past that I’m not proud of but the two things that haunt me the most are the things I have specifically pointed out in other posts which are that I attempted to rape someone who was trying to help me, little did she know I just took someone’s death on the unit the previous day and used it to buy my way into her office so the door could be closed and I kept just bouncing around the subject trying to build up how of the what, when, and where I was going to do it, and then with in 7 days I tackled a tech because she was running her mouth about my family and hit a soft spot and talked shit on my grandmother, who was the woman who raised my deceased fiance and I after she(my fiance) got me away from my horrific childhood and who also was on her death bed at the time. So I snapped and when she turned away and walked out of my room, I charged her full speed and drilled her face into the lenoleum floor, I was a 4 year starting LOLB in highschool who might be playing in the NFL if it wasn’t for a career ending blow to the knee the championship game my senior year, of course I really didn’t have much intention of accepting the scholarship because I had more intention on continuing my family history and be the 5th generation on my pops side to join the military so you get what I mean. Unfortunately that woman died from the injuries I caused about a year later. You know not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could trade places with her and what haunts me the most is that the only consequences of both of those actions was 22 days in the freaking daycare that is Greene County Prison. My question is how do I forgive myself and move on now that I am obviously remorseful. I’ve been remorseful since I seen that heartwrenching, terrified look on the social workers face after she was safely out of the office and I only got as far as touching her breasts but that look just broke me into a trillion pieces. Thank you.