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BackinBlack's avatar

Why do kids act up most around their mom?

Asked by BackinBlack (1195points) 1 month ago

My nephew and niece are the calmest, sweetest, well behaved kids when I watch them with my husband. They listen, they have low energy and laugh and are just delightful lol UNTIL their mom shows up. Anytime they are around their mom or their grandma they become monsters.

Last night my nephews energy changed immediately once she arrived and he was screaming and running around hitting stuff and not listening. He picked up my necklace on the table and said ‘cool aunties necklace’ and pulled it so hard on purpose it snapped and broke. He would have never done that if it was just us!!!!

My niece is only 2 but she turns into a mean baby with her mom and wont let anyone even look at her or she’ll scream bloody murder and cry.

Their mom does have high energy and talks incredibly loud over everyone else and overall just has intense energy. Same goes for their grandma, who they also act up around.

What the heck is going on here? Why do they change so drastically?

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14 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

My sibs and I occasionally pushed the limits with our mom. Attention maybe?
We could not do this with my dad as he had low BS tolerance.So mom got tested. :)

ucme's avatar

When kids are very young & left with family members other than their parents, they automatically feel slightly vulnerable.
It’s the sense that they’re unsure of boundaries, with which are clearly set at home & so act within themselves so to speak.

Soon as mum & or dad rocks up, this pent up energy pops, coz hey, my folks are nurturing & cool & stuff :D

canidmajor's avatar

They feel secure, sure that they won’t be abandoned. Kids that are perfect around their parents all the time are a red flag.

ragingloli's avatar

Because they have learnt that they can get away with it.
Children are all psychopaths that are constantly probing the boundaries of what mischief they can perpetrate without repercussions.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I noticed the same thing in my daycare.

You nailed it with the fact that Mom and grandma seem tense. The kids are picking up and emulating that. The exact same thing happens when the mother of 4 of my grandkids shows up. Instant tears and tension.
I used to baby sit two of them while mom worked. Zoey was 18 months old and her brother, Jay, was 6 or 7. Jay had come up with a sucker that I told him he had to share or he couldn’t eat it. So they sat quietly on the couch and shared this sucker.
Mom showed up to pick them up and within 10 seconds everyone was crying and upset.
First little Zoey walked across the table to greet mom. Then she struggled to get down to finish the sucker with bro…and mom would not put her down. So Zoey started crying. My DIL started trying to “tease” her out of her sudden bad mood by kissing on her neck and tickling her, which enraged Zoey even more.
Then she decided Jay was to blame for Zoey’s crying and said, “Oh, Bubba wouldn’t share his sucker with you??”
I said, “They were sharing just fine.”
Then my DIL got pissed off and went over and ripped the sucker out of Jay’s hand and gave it to Zoey.
I said, “It was Jayden’s sucker to begin with.”
So she ripped the sucker out of Zoey’s hand and gave it back to Jayden.
It was absolute bedlam over absolutely nothing.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I always thought that the way they behaved in social situations, be it school or whatever, was much more telling about the children’s behavior than the way they act around their parents. My kids were wonderful. They were pretty wonderful around me too, but they were especially wonderful around other people.

Patty_Melt's avatar

If you get pissed off, you are less likely to beat the hell out of them in front of good old mom.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What? You don’t beat the hell out of kids at any time.

Patty_Melt's avatar

In a child’s mind, duh.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Still makes no sense.

longgone's avatar

Sometimes it’s that they feel safe. In other cases, it might be that they frequently clash with a parent.

jca2's avatar

I think it’s because they know nobody else will put up with their sh*t, whereas their mom will.

Dutchess_III's avatar

This mom wouldn’t! I don’t put up with shit from my grandkids, either.

ragingloli's avatar

They get shipped off directly to Carl the Llama if they do.

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