General Question

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

How often do you expect affection?

Asked by ItalianPrincess1217 (11979points) December 1st, 2019

Are some people just needier than others? Is it generally women who want affection and physical connection more than men? When your days are being spent together, how often during the day are you desiring that from your loved one?

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28 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I don’t expect affection, but am grateful for a hug.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I am not lacking for affection.
I give affection freely as well.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I really never expect affection, except from my kids and grandkids.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

@Dutchess_III Have you always felt that way? Or did your needs decrease over years?

janbb's avatar

I wanted it/needed it more than I ever got it. Just plain old affection, not particularly meaning sex.

anniereborn's avatar

I’d like a lot more affection. But, at least I get hugs every day :)

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I just know it’s not going to happen, so I’ve learned not to expect anything.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I don’t believe that!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Like @janbb, to me, sex and affection are two different things. He never gave me any affection unless he wanted sex.

ucme's avatar

Oh I don’t expect affection, I demand it!
Only joking, It’s good for morale you know.
Affection is not something that should be expected, that would make it boring & stale.
It comes naturally, sometimes out of nowhere, that’s what makes it special & meaningful.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I hear stories like this, but at heart do not really believe them. A minimum mush relationship by no means implies an absence of care or affection.

anniereborn's avatar

I could go my whole life without sex and not miss it if I got enough affection. I don’t see the as two different things but different degrees of one thing. Surely you wouldn’t have sex with a relative, but there could be plenty of affection there.

LadyMarissa's avatar

In my mind affection & sex are 2 completely different things!!! I married a man who was blessed with Erectile Dysfunction. We NEVER had conventional sex; however, we were VERY affectionate. He NEVER left me that he didn’t tell me that he loved me & he gave me some of the BEST hugs ever!!! His last words to me before he died were I love you Sweetheart. Over the years, I didn’t miss having sex as our hugs & snuggles completed ANY need that I had. I feel sorry for those who think that they need to count their orgasms as there is soooo MUCH MORE to love than orgasms!!!

johnpowell's avatar

I lived with my sisters oldest son and his G.F. for a few years. He is short but has broad shoulders. G.F. was skinny and had bout four inches on him.

But I made a Twitter account that was just pictures of him being the little spoon. On the couch, he was the little spoon, they would fall asleep on their bed with the door open, he was the little spoon. On the floor, I would take a picture of him being the little spoon.

Hundreds of pictures. He eventually found out and was not thrilled. So I nuked the account. It was the only thing I ever used Twitter for.

Vignette's avatar

Affection is the oxygen for any committed intimate relationship. It is all good when you breathe freely and expect the unexpected.

anniereborn's avatar

@johnpowell He was “not thrilled”? That is creepy as can be. You are lucky he didn’t file charges.

zenvelo's avatar

When the affection ended, I realized it was only time before my marriage ended. It’s part of the reinforcement of everyday connection.

stanleybmanly's avatar

It’s woven into our lives. The sneak smooch when your hands are full and thus defenseless. I spoil my wife silly. I can’t sit down before her feet are in my lap for a massage or her bottom is plopped there for me to work on her shoulders and back. She’s always sore somewhere. She’ll
summon me to the tub to scrub her back, complain about how cold it is outside the bed, and how the “big strong man” should get up and fetch the tea.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I hated how asking for a back rub, because my back hurt always, always turned sexual. I finally quit asking for them.

tinyfaery's avatar

I actually don’t like a lot of physical affection, probably because I just generally do not like to be touched. I kiss and hug my wife at least twice a day, and she puts her head on my lap when we watch TV, but aside form that, touching is not really my thing. I do, however, like to have a lot of sex.

Jonsblond's avatar

I don’t think it’s generally women who want affection. I don’t require it as much as my husband does. I know this is anecdotal but I know many couples like this where men want more affection.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I think it depends on what you mean by affection. I’m nobody’s mushpot, but I just love the feel and (even) the aroma of my wife. I have no reasonable explanation for it. I’m so irrational about her, that her mere appearance can set me to giggling, to which she used to narrow her eyes in suspicion that I might be laughing at some defect, but by now, she recognizes the trait as MY defect in giggling with delight. She now just rolls her big blue eyes with fake annoyance, particularly if there are confused witnesses:

Forever_Free's avatar

I don’t expect it. I however am a giver freely of affection so it usually is reciprocated.
Hugs, kisses, touches, spontaneous dancing, holding hands, Full body massages, etc

Dutchess_III's avatar

I have to ask you @Forever_Free, do you give the affection with an end result in mind.

Forever_Free's avatar

@Dutchess_III never. That would be wrong and if people do things with an expectation it eventually works against the intent.

RabidWolf's avatar

I don’t expect it, nor is it given.

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