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RabidWolf's avatar

How do you win a heart?

Asked by RabidWolf (837points) 1 month ago

Even the woman who is so beautiful she’s probably out of your league. Wine and dine her, soft romantic music with candlelight.

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18 Answers

chyna's avatar

Just be yourself. If you wine and dine someone to win their heart, and that isn’t really the way you are or the things that you like to do, you have been deceptive and she hasn’t fallen for the real you after all.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I won my husband’s heart by singing him a song while performing the Dance of the Seven Veils.
He wanted to marry the hell out of me after that. XD
Chyna’s right

LadyMarissa's avatar

BE YOURSELF & forget EVERYTHING that you listed above!!! Love is blind & has NO boundaries!!! Any fool can take you out for a nice dinner…it does NOT equate to love…so be yourself & IF it’s supposed to be, it will come. Also, STOP looking for love & it will sneak up on you. Trying to “make” someone love you is the WRONG way to get there…either they love you naturally or they don’t!!! When your Ms Right comes along, it WILL be WORTH the wait!!!

LadyMarissa's avatar

I was just reminded. I don’t know who said it, but it is so true…

Love doesn’t have to come from somebody else. The best love comes from inside when you learn to love yourself!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Wine and dine her, soft romantic music with candlelight”….Can you make your true intentions any more obvious? When I was in college one guy invited me up to his dorm. I accepted. As soon as we got through the door he put on a Barry White album. REALLY?!

I dated a guy for 2 years in college. The first night we went back to his place he put on Gino Vannelli. It didn’t work. I didn’t have sex with him that night, but eventually I did, and I never heard Gino Vannelli again.
PS. When I decided to have sex with him, I made the decision a week before we did it. Had nothing to do with Gino Vannelli or Barry White, or candles or moonlight.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I’m confused. Are you asking, or telling?

RabidWolf's avatar

I haven’t dated in over 30 years, but back then you tried to set a surrounding where she knew you went to a lot of effort. That was just the start. You had a fine meal cooked, wine chilling in the ice bucket. Soft music playing. Now in truth, the woman was my then-wife. I was trying to show her that I would never unlove her ever. That she was the only woman for me. And yes, at one point after the meal, you put out your hand and you and she dance. You hold her like you’ll never ever let go and you whisper in her ear just how much you love her. The reason behind my question is does this still work. I’m a writer an actual author, and I wanted to find out if this is what grabs a woman’s heart here in the 21st century.

chyna's avatar

Not on the first date or even the first several dates. That scenario would be if you were getting ready to propose. This is my opinion only. But I’m old, so I what do I know?

LadyMarissa's avatar

I agree with @chyna. Another old woman here, so I can’t tell you what the young people do except stay confused over what they think will get them what they want. Wining & dining NEVER impressed me. I can say I enjoyed the meal & the company, but it NEVER won my heart & it surely didn’t get me into bed!!! My first husband, who was 10 years older than me, made me feel like a woman even though he knew I was still a young girl who he could manipulate which was what HE needed. My last husband loved me for the woman that I had become. We loved each other & we had mutual RESPECT for each other. We had both been through similar experiences in our lives & our love seemed to lessen the pain that we both had endured. He didn’t wine me & dine me because we had met online & I lived on the east coast with him living on the west coast. He was an excellent cook which was an added benefit to the love that we felt!!! I loved him for over a year before I tasted his cooking!!! He NEVER tried to make me his “property” & appreciated me for my independence. He NEVER tried to turn me into the woman he wanted me to be as he loved me exactly like I was!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Never impressed me either. I have a feeling that romantic stuff is more of a guy thing, thinking that’s what (all) women want.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Now is partly the Jetsons, partly the sixties.
On the one hand, you have internet, everything right now, catfish and video chat.
At the same time you have soldiers off to war, conflicts citizens want their soldiers out of, and eco concerns.
Youth are battling gender confusion openly. Trees are our friends again.
To win a heart there has to be knowledge of the other person. Effort is still a winner, but in new ways. There are many couples who don’t care for dancing.
There are more ethnic restaurants out there, so it isn’t just surf and turf by candlelight anymore. The asker needs to know enough about the asker to decide whether asker would rather an evening of dinner at a Thai restaurant and dancing at a club would be wonderful, or if asker would prefer to order out maybe pizza maybe Chinese, and sketch or paint asker while they eat, with a CD of electronic violins plays.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Aw geez! I just realized my stupid spell checker changed askee so there are only asker, talking to his/her own self.
Sorry for the mess.

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

How the would I know? A ladies man I ain’t. I don’t even known what my wife sees in me. But I will cheerfully admit that I’m a comedy legend. (In my own mind).

.

RabidWolf's avatar

Lots of interesting answers and replies and I thank you all for them. Okay, with that said. Here is my way of thinking. Some think it’s the woman’s job to cook. If it’s a date and the man’s idea for a home-cooked meal he needs to do the cooking. I never did the candlelight thing for a date. I did it for those I lived with, to keep things interesting. For them to wonder what I had done this time. When I was dating I did take my date to nice restaurants, never fast food. Yeah, places where the lights were low and there were sometimes candles on the table. Usually went to a steakhouse but some of those places had the lights down. Some of those dates went south when they saw I ate my steak medium-rare. I was told long ago if you can make a lady laugh, you have her attention. Be a gentleman at all times. You ask if you can kiss her, never assume you can. But you have to have and show romance. Hence the reason I’d do the special dinners.

raum's avatar

Some of those dates went south when they saw I ate my steak medium-rare.

How else are you supposed to eat your steak?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I head south if he orders a steak well done. I assume he’s just a clod hopper with no taste.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Everytime some one talks about lights down low and candles I think of that scene in Bringing Down the House where Steve Martin thinks he’s hooking up with a fellow lawyer who he met online. He turns the lights down, lights candles, and answers the door holding two glasses of champagne….and the person he’s meeting turns out to be an ex con, Queen Latifa who pretended to be a “skinny white broad” lawyer! He’s speechless. She blows right past him and walks into the house, looks around at the candles and says, “Somebody was planning on gettin’ some boom boom tonight!” and slaps her own ass.
Steve Martin breaks his neck blowing out candles!

I can’t speak for other women, but I, personally, find it extremely annoying when a man makes his real intentions so blatantly obvious.

NoMoreY_Aagain's avatar

@Lucille Dance of the Seven Veils? Your name Salome by chance? Hope John doesn’t lose his head over you. So to speak

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