What to do when your partner doesn’t know their drinking limit?

Asked by chelle21689 (7907) January 5th, 2020 from iPhone

My fiance and I have been together for several years, we finally set a date to be married next year.

I love him, he will be a great husband. He treats me well, we are like the best of friends, we are partners and a team, but there’s one thing. He enjoys his whiskey and beer a bit too much. He doesn’t drink every single day but it is too often where it’s almost every day where he will have a glass to unwind. It’s when he’s social drinking or with friends is when he seems to not know his limit. He will assure me he is fine and then the next thing you know it, he’s throwing up in the car with a horrible hangover the next day.

It doesn’t happen every weekend but enough times in a year for me to lose count. Maybe every other month. Tonight really upset me because he broke my trust. He had me believe he has it under control because I was so concerned with meeting our officiant tomorrow. He ended up very drunk. This is not a very good way to meet someone who will marry us.

I was too angry to sleep next to him so I’m in the guest bedroom crying and unable to sleep…it’s now 6 am…I’m thinking maybe we should cancel seeing the officiant because he will be hungover (not sure if we will even make it) and I’m so tired because I have not had a second of sleep.

How can I approach fiancé about not knowing his limit and having him limit drinking? How do I let him know how this really affects us seriously? It makes me want to pull away and I recoil when he’s a sloppy drunk that’s brought it upon himself. We are adults!! The last time I threw up from alcohol was several years ago, and I know how to enjoy a couple glasses without getting crap faced. He’s limited it before with friends where he would avoid drinks but sometimes I think he doesn’t realize how much he’s had. Also, I don’t think his body reacts well to alcohol as time goes on because even with a little bit to drink he starts to get nauseous now even when he’s not buzzed.