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ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Have you ever known someone who regularly borrowed your personality?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (25475points) 1 week ago

I think it’s pretty normal to mimic or copy people that we like to some degree, we learn from others and are social animals and so everyone does this a little bit. But have you ever known people who seem to take entire parts of your personality or copy things you like to a degree that it feels invasive? What about your problems? Have you ever had someone who feels the need to always have the same problems as you even when they dont? Of course they say that imitation is flattery, but can it feel violating to have someone copy you too much? Has it ever happened to you and how did it feel?

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14 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It can feel very strange when that kind of thing happens.
I’ve ignored it, hoping they will take that exact trait on.
The weirdest I have seen yet is my husband’s friend.
He copied everything about my husband from haircut to clothing.
He even bought his car and boat. I used to tease my hub about it but his friend’s wife did not like that her spouse couldn’t think for himself.

Darth_Algar's avatar

No, I can’t really say that I have. And I can’t imagine why anyone would want to act like me because, frankly, I’m kind of an asshole.

cookieman's avatar

^^ That, but replace “asshole” with “goober”.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Is there any chance they are trying to show empathy and understanding, but are doing so in a clumsy manner?

Inspired_2write's avatar

Not my personality but an others they copied, only to be accepted by that person.

It all backfired when the person she copied ( hairstyle,clothes, material things etc) when that person no longer was in need of her information. ( re Court Battle for Guardianship)

The odd part in all of this was that we were twins and she hated it and tried to look different only to replicate an older female that had money?

( I think that she was trying to cozy up to that relative ..for an inheritance, but looks like acceptance was what she was after.

She had many emotional problems throughout her life and I suppose still does, but I had cut off all contact with her due to the problems that STILL abound in chaos.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I had a friend who would call me up about new symptoms she is experiencing, a week or two after I have told her that I was going through that.
She would say, you don’t know what it’s like, going through this. I would say, yeah, actually, I do.
I wasn’t the only one she did it to.
I finally had to quit taking her calls.
When I got a FB account she tried to contact me that way.
For me it was not so much creepy, as a nuisance. I was going through a lot of pain, and getting progressively worse, and she was making me feel like she was using me as her tool to get people to pity her.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I kind of had that experience, but she was more wanting to live in my skin, or live my life. It was very odd, she asked a lot of questions, always extremely interested in every detail of anything I said or did. It got weird quick so I told her we couldn’t be friends, I was too busy. Cop out I know, but she was freaking me out.

Not only did it happen via my job, but also in local politics. People glob onto you in odd ways.

Jonsblond's avatar

I’m an empath. I hate confrontation. I don’t know why anyone would want to borrow me.

Nuggetmunch's avatar

Some autistics tend to mimic. I’m high functioning and I’ve mimicked my friends all my life because that’s how I feel I’ll be accepted. I didn’t know it can come across as invasive. I feel horrible.

Patty_Melt's avatar

My personality? Somebody want it?

Patty_Melt's avatar

@Nuggetmunch, don’t feel so bad. I have an autistic son. I love him deeply. I understand how his clock ticks a little different from some of the others. He does a lot of apologizing for those differences. There is no need to, but he is accustomed to apologizing. Every time he does or says something which is uniquely him, he feels guilty. I think in some degree even his talents make him feel apologetic.
Some people have a talent for mimicry. Maybe you are one of those people. Maybe from you, it comes as a welcome endearment. After all, that was your intent.
You are welcome to mimic me, if we should meet.

Nuggetmunch's avatar

@Patty_Melt that is such a kind response it made me smile WIDE. Thank you for understanding!!

Patty_Melt's avatar

@Nuggetmunch, this guy shows that if you are really good at it, people love to see you mimic them.
I loved seeing him when I was a kid, and in 1999 I finally got to see him doing his show in person on my birthday. He was better than ever.
When it is a friend, I don’t think people mind. Maybe some do. When someone you know, but not really a friend does it, then it can make people uncomfortable. I think maybe because they suddenly realize this person has studied them.

In a different way I made people uncomfortable without knowing I did it. My eyes were bad for years before my parents figured out I needed glasses. Until then, I used to stare at people. I didn’t know everyone else could see better than me.
When I was told by a friend, I felt like I should go immediately and apologize to everyone I ever looked at.

You have to just realize that sometimes we each commits some blunder that makes us embarrassed later. We can’t let that define us. We cannot fix yesterday. The very best anyone can do is resolve today, and prepare for tomorrow.
If you have a friend you trust, you might ask them if they think anyone is bothered. I bet they will be quick to ease your mind.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Nuggetmunch -I agree, it’s one of the nicest responses I’ve ever seen here.:)

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