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Patty_Melt's avatar

Please, can I get a fluther hug?

Asked by Patty_Melt (16648points) March 3rd, 2020

I know this is a request, not a question, but I’m in shock and pain.
I just learned the VA worker I have been client to for five and a half years passed away over the weekend.
She was a very important part of my life. As such, I developed a strong attachment.
Stories are welcome, or just the one word, sorry. I just need some help facing my grief.

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22 Answers

rebbel's avatar

My condolences.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I’m sorry for your loss.

KNOWITALL's avatar

(Big hug)
I’m sorry honey, life really kicks you in the pants sometimes doesn’t it?
Harder when you can’t prepare.

The lady I’ve worked next door to for two decades, died from cancer and I asked a coworker where she’s been and found out that way. We just talked outside every day, but I heard about her kids for 18 years, her marriage, etc…. I get your shock, and I’m so sorry.

chyna's avatar

{{{huge hug}}}
I’m sorry you are going through this.

ucme's avatar

Arms across the pond squeezing & comforting x

janbb's avatar


I’m so sorry!

snowberry's avatar

Patty, that’s got to be so painful! I’m sorry! I wish I lived nearby. If it hasn’t already happened and if you wanted to go, I would take you to her funeral and then we would go out to a good restaurant.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I wasn’t told funeral details. I don’t know how family would feel about clients being there.
It is very sweet of you to think of that.

@all, thanks. I hadn’t even realized how much a part of my life she had become. When I was told this afternoon, I couldn’t stop bawling.

SavoirFaire's avatar

So sorry to hear this, @Patty_Melt. I’m sure this is a real loss for all of her clients. A friend of mine went through a few case workers before finding one she liked, and I’ve seen how much that connection has helped her out. Best wishes.

Patty_Melt's avatar

She helped me connect with various people, helped me with forms I didn’t understand, transported me to and from medical appointments, and I saw her a lot. When I was in the hospital for multiple biopsies, she came by to see what I needed.
They will assign someone new to me, but they can’t get me a new her.

MrGrimm888's avatar


Feel free to ask, anytime….

Mimishu1995's avatar

Oh God… I saw this a bit too late. I wish I could fly to your house and give you a hug…

LuckyGuy's avatar

Oh Patty. I’m so sorry. That is a terrible loss.
The new person won’t be the same but you know their heart is in the right place.

raum's avatar

Sorry, Patty. :(

jca2's avatar

@Patty_Melt: Hugs to you! This is a loss and I know you are comforted by memories of her.

longgone's avatar

Oh, I’m so sorry. I can imagine how hard that would be. If you depended on her, hard times like this one would be exactly when you need her most. Bear hugs!

Patty_Melt's avatar

I found the online page with her obituary, and option to write messages of memories and condolences.
I wrote briefly my thoughts.
Another of her clients posted there. I could tell by what he said, that he was crying when he wrote it.
At first, I felt that an obligation to meet with her every month would be intrusive and unpleasant. It didn’t take long for me to see she really cares about her clients. She would get so upset when someone would mess up and be eliminated from the program.
She knew I am a Trump supporter, but she was caring and helpful anyway.
Sometimes she actually laughed at my jokes.
The human race devalued slightly with her passing.

janbb's avatar

@Patty_Melt That is very sad.

cookieman's avatar

I know I’m late, but still…

I’m really sorry @Patty_Melt. I hope you’re doing okay.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Thanks. The initial shock is over. It will be difficult getting used to a new worker.
She texted me just two days before, to confirm my ride to the doctor.

I really appreciate all the kind comments. It truly did help me.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^We got you Patty. Nuther (hug.)

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