General Question

Charm's avatar

Why do some people like to intimidate others?

Asked by Charm (16points) 1 month ago

I have a work colleague who always tries to intimidate me & others with her domineering bossy approach,& I don’t understand why?

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16 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

Do you have an example of that behavior for context?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Because all people like to have some sense of control in their lives and a lot of people get that sense of control by controlling or overpowering others.

Patty_Melt's avatar

There is a lot of learned behavior picked up from family. Often people don’t know how their behavior is being viewed by others.
Or, she considers her workmates lazy and/or disorganized, and is trying to whip them into shape.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

It’s a feeling of power, and some people are not happy unless they are making others miserable.

Zaku's avatar

There are a number of popular cultural conversations (in various cultures) that exalt that sort of behavior in some ways.

It might be interesting (and/or entertaining) to ask her calmly and directly.

CelestialIncognito's avatar

Blurry boundaries, employee and/or employer boundaries, perhaps? I feel for you and yours. The bullied and the bully relationship may even have mental health experts scratching their heads on the “why”. Could more compassion and education for the bullied, the bully and those on the sidelines be needed to ensure a safe work environment? Really good question!

kritiper's avatar

It’s a control thing. People like that want to keep you down in a place lower than they are so they can feel better about themselves.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Ego. Power. Ultimately insecurity,

zenvelo's avatar

People who internally feel inferior to others can often only feel superior by being harsh and bullying.

Jeruba's avatar

All those answers above could be right.

There’s another possibility, though. She could, for whatever reason, be a hypervigilant person who somehow feels it’s up to her to see that everything is done right. She may not mean to be domineering and may not realize she’s intimidating.

She could, for example, come from a family so dysfunctional that it was or is up to the kids to take care of the grownups, in which case she learned to feel responsible for everything while growing up. That kind of behavior is really hard to unlearn.

I wonder if a gentle word to her to suggest that she needs to let others take on their share would be helpful. Could it do any harm?

SEKA's avatar

It makes her feel powerful. Since it bothers you, why do you allow her to intimidate you? Just because she’s dishing it out, it doesn’t mean tat you have to accept it

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I imagine she does it because it works.

Inspired_2write's avatar

They like a challenge.

They don’t like opposition to there ideas.

Trained at home by a controlling parent.

( or from being subjected to it for so long adopted the fight or lose mentality).

They are afraid of losing since being taught that is the only aim in ones life.(wrong).

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PaisleyFaye's avatar

I suppose people who cant seem to ditch the insecurities they developed growing up, have a tendency to hide behind a complex shield that makes them feel superior and or Holier than thou, its sad when people have a way of intimidating others for the sake of uplifting themselves, its also a bully tactic, but I’m sure each and every one of them has a story yet to be told, which would then give us a chance to understand and help them to soften their mean ways, if they choose to do so…

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