Social Question

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Are you often successful in your attempts to persuade others to see things your way?

Asked by lucillelucillelucille (34325points) June 16th, 2020

Are you charming?
Are you?? XD

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

28 Answers

Inspired_2write's avatar

Charm isn’t the needed requirement, but rather insight into the others argument is.
Try and see it from their standpoint.

Then ask questions as to the why they think that way and a good honest discussion will transform each other to understand another’s viewpoint.

Most Debates operate on this same principle.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Inspired_2write -Do you see this on Fluther very often? XD

Inspired_2write's avatar

See What?
Incidents…yes quite a few in my lifetime.
Plus read a lot on “How to Negotiate” and was in debate groups.
Collective Bargaining College Course, for Union vs Management as well.
Talked with RCMP and discussed how they calmed situations “before” they escalated etc.

Was the first contact for Emergencies ( before 911 was developed) we operators took those calls and were responsible for calming and getting emergency assistance.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Inspired_2write -Do you often see disagreements handled this way:“insight into the others argument is.
Try and see it from their standpoint.

Then ask questions as to the why they think that way and a good honest discussion will transform each other to understand another’s viewpoint.” here on Fluther, specifically.

Inspired_2write's avatar


I read “all” comments / opinions and form a response after narrowing the actual problem and then discuss with others. I give a well thought out informed response most of the time.

I try to help others understand and then leave it up to them to take it or leave it to decide what is the right thing to do for themselves.

I always try to convey understanding in a helpful way when possible.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Inspired_2write- That’s all good.
Do you see this way of handling things on Fluther very often?

Inspired_2write's avatar


Not as much as I would like to see, but I do recognize some as changing there stance and been more polite now rather than “aggressive” means.

Not long ago some on Fluther were outright rude and derogatory towards each other and I see either they are gone or they have changed to a more civilized discussion.

Emotional maturity or immaturity shows up in some discussions where “swearing” is NOT needed and just shuts down the discussion and takes on an entirely different tone.

Thankful that there is less of that now and more respect is shown .

In short “agree to disagree” and respect each others views.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Inspired_2write-I joined in ‘09 then was gone for some years.
Since I have come back, I haven’t seen too much change in the way people handle disagreements but I have noticed far fewer active members.

Inspired_2write's avatar


Fewer members because of pandemic now and people concentrating on home life.

Plus with all this chaos in the world and Politics not many wish to get involved in discussions on Fluther.

I think Fluther is an escape from that chaos and a place to air whats on there minds at this time.

Its good that we have fun tings to remind us that not all life is Politics,chaos, destruction, Racism , although important, but not helpful to appease the pain of going through a tough time right now.

In short time we will increase our numbers of participants I assume, when things get back to normal, but the new normal.

Its a nice to communicate with others on this site and to share brevity in the form of favorite music,videos, pastimes,jokes as well.

One tires of TV news of disruption. destruction, anger..lately I stopped watching the News channels because of this.

Inspired_2write's avatar


Well it was nice talking with you. I must go now I have some things to attend to at the moment.

Have a Great Day, enjoy the fresh air, and all of what this Planet offers freely to enjoy while it lasts.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Inspired_2write -You make some good points.
I did however, notice the lack of members from before the pandemic as well as word from acquaintances who remained here after I left.
It was nice talking with you and have a great day as well!

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I wouldn’t say that I’m charming necessarily, though I guess I can be since I present myself well socially. But I think the thing that makes me “good” at this is that I’m empathetic and I genuinely try to listen and connect with people and listen to their full perspective with an open mind, even if what they believe is abhorrent to me. I also choose my battles and I’m patient, some people I have no desire to get to listen to me because there’s not any real motive to put that kind of effort in and they’re usually already combative (who isn’t, these days?), but when there is I’m in for the long game because in my experience it works.

Much of the time, like most people, I just want to share my opinion and I don’t really give a shit who agrees or disagrees. If I want to actually change someone’s mind, an open mind, open heart and listening ear go a long way toward making progress despite popular belief otherwise.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf -Yep!
Do you have a good poker face?

ucme's avatar

Oh yes, I can be quite adamant when it suits me.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille not at all. But, I think that’s probably a good thing, because I am (or at least I try to be) genuine, I think that’s necessary otherwise it’s just manipulative.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf -Even if they tell you something abhorrent?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille sure, I mean, I don’t pretend to agree with people that I don’t agree with. I just listen and try to hear them out. It’s about actually trying to understand how they come to the conclusions they’ve drawn without making my own assumptions and then creating a dialogue around that which brings us to some kind of common ground. So, I don’t fake thinking everything is great, I just come at it with genuine curiosity and an open mind.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf That is a fine approach.
There are times though when a poker face is a very good idea.
My sister was once in a plane being flown by her date when he mentioned that he had a dossier on her.
Wth that meant was anyone’s guess but after they landed, she sprinted to her car.
I told her that she could’ve jumped but then there’d be no sprinting to the car. Lol

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille oh yeah agreed, a poker face comes in handy but I am not good at that, lol!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf -I try but those who know me can read me like a book.
Maybe I am too tired to try.

ucme's avatar

To actually answer the question, I have always been very persuasive & although my opinions on some things may be flawed, I still end up getting people to concede I had a point…kinda.

Disarming, likeable rogue that I am :D

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ucme – Charm goes a long way when one is wrong. Wrong like a ding dong!

raum's avatar

My batting average has gone up over the years. Not because I’ve gotten much better at it. But more that I try to gauge the probability of success before investing the time and effort.

This should not be mistaken with disagreeing with people on the internet. Disagreeing with someone isn’t necessarily about trying to persuade someone.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I can make people do the opposite of what I request. Some times I say “please do not do something”, that is opposite to what I want and win that way. Its worked out twice for me. Like a reverse Jedi mind trick.

seawulf575's avatar

No. My wife has made sure I understand I’m never 100% right and is never 100% wrong…

Demosthenes's avatar

I can be very persuasive. bats eyelashes

Patty_Melt's avatar

I haven’t been charming for a long time.

That is one point I expect will get my most ever GAs.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther