Is the situation with the pandemic ruining my relationship?

Hello. I haven’t been on Fluther for a while but my current situation prompted me to reach out to you friendly jellies. I’m not entirely sure how to start with this one, but as tradition dictates I might start at the beginning.

I met my girlfriend at a work event back in London (what? no dating apps??). We got on swimmingly and I was bold enough to ask her out for more drinks the same evening. In any case, I was smitten. We started seeing each other regularly. One thing led to another quickly as I knew that her job in London was coming to an end and she’d be moving back to her country.

Now I was already in the process of getting ready to leave London. In an act of spontaneity, we decided to move to Berlin together. I’d always wanted to live there, and as luck would have it, there was a flat available through a connection of hers.

My mom had already planned a trip to Berlin as a bday present for me, so we took this opportunity to check the flat out together. And I obviously got to introduce my mom to my new girlfriend. Things were going really well, but obviously there was this nagging feeling that maybe we’re doing something completely crazy to move in with each other so soon. She even asked me if I was sure, and I wasn’t using her as an excuse to finally move here. Indecisive as I am, I simply wasn’t sure. But I knew I was into her, and I knew I wanted to be in Berlin.

Anyway, corona happened and we had to wait another couple months before seeing each other in Berlin. Needless to say I was incredibly excited. Now that almost two months have passed and I am still without a job, only getting the odd freelance gigs, frustration is setting in. She’s already got a job, and while I’m very happy for her, I feel disappointed in myself. I know everyone is having a tough time at the moment, but I’m starting to think this might not have been the best choice.

What makes me most distressed is that ‘honeymoon period’ is certainly over. I consider myself a romantic person but the situation right now just feels like routine. I’m not sure if it’s just my anxiety and frustration over the situation here, or if I’m simply not into her anymore. Obviously, we barely knew each other so it was a bit of a gamble to begin with. We’re also incredibly alike in some ways, stubborn and introverted, and have a hard time talking emotions, so that doesn’t help either.

Another thing to note is that we chose to sign a 6-month lease (just in case). Now in hindsight, that might have been a wise choice.

I’m just not sure how to approach the discussion. She wants to take a trip abroad with me later this month but I feel like I need to bring this up first because it’s eating me up. Would love to hear your thoughts :)