Collecting homegrown sniglets.

I see that brownlemur posted a few questions long ago that called upon the collective to come up with a term for certain phenomena. Now I call upon the collective to give me their home-coined words along with a definition. I need a good laugh.

A few of mine?
Mitochondriac: Someone who’s afraid that they might have this or they might have that.

Entemannologist: The study of Cheese Danishes.

Ginetics: The unfortunate traits expressed when the mother drinks too much.