Your son or daughter away at college is dismissed for violating covid-19 policies. Do you let them come home? or what do you do?

The school has announced that it will test each of the kids involved, and quarantine anyone positive. In addition, each kid has the right to appeal his or her dismissal. As parent of one of the 11, the matter of Jr. returning home is clearly out of my hands until after testing, and possibly after the quarantine period. My guess is that there will be some rather frantic string pulling, particularly in view of the stated policy of no refund of tuition or fees, which I would bet are considerable. Odds are that I would be good and pissed at the entire prospect, but there’s no telling what I would do about it minus the detailed specifics of the kid’s involvement.

I think I would talk to my kid and see where their mind is at. If they regret it and are upset that they are being expelled I would try to help my kid fight it in the most humble way possible, basically throwing ourselves on the mercy of the court. If the university won’t bend, I’d ask for a compromise of temporary banishment and return for the Spring semester.

When I say talk to my child, mind you I’m pissed my kid showed disregard for the rules.

It sucks for young adults right now. When I looked at universities to go to one of the things I cared about was that it had a dance club/bar to go to at night. I went out dancing almost every other weekend during my teens and early 20’s. In college, in the dorms, we were together constantly with each other on the floor. It says 11 students, I wonder what the limit is? Can 5 students be together?

If my kid is kicked out I’d let him/her come back home, What are you going to do? They know they screwed up, they hopefully learned their lesson.

I wonder if any of the parents are no-maskers and think covid is conspiracy and a hoax.

I’d definitely appeal it. It’s worth a try.

In the meantime, of course I’d let the kid come home. I’m not going to make her homeless.

I saw on the news, some college student was saying “college kids are just going to party. That’s what we’re going to do.” Ok, so they’re probably violating Covid guidelines all over the country, feeling entitled. It is sad that this is their college time but hopefully it will be over by the end of 2021.

Yes, but they are sent to a 2 week quarantine in the cellar.

I tell them “Good Luck!” ’(Life is a bitch and then you’re on your own!)

Of course they can come home.

How curious that these responses are mostly legalistic. Is that the main thing here, challenging and responding to the dismissal? What I’m wondering is Do you welcome home your child who has been identified as a likely candidate for covid-19, considering your own household situation, and—then what? literally?

I read an article that said if a family member gets the virus, give them a private room and, preferably, a private bathroom, and take all precautions when interacting.

First, how many of us just have so many available rooms with extra bathrooms that we can give a family member private accommodations? And, what, sterilize their dishes every day and clean their room, clothes, and linens without touching them yourself?

Second, how can anyone without full medical PPE and protocol maintain a contact-free environment? Unless the habits are ingrained, are you really going to remember which goes on first, the mask or the gloves?

Third, if my child is gasping, coughing, struggling to breathe, and burning up with a fever, I am not going to leave him lying alone in a room. But will I try to care for him, putting myself and other family members at risk, or will I deliver him to a hospital, knowing he might never come out?

I don’t know. I think about it, but I don’t know. Do you?

This is why we need covid hotels. Dade County, Florida was working on doing just that, I am not sure if they accomplished it. People can check themselves in to keep family members safe. I wrote my governor about doing it here where I live back in March, because China had that wort of thing. I don’t know if other states have started doing it. All over Florida we have regional covid nursing homes for nursing home patients with covid who do not need hospital care to be moved to, but that does not help with the situation you describe.

If I had a very large house I would maybe have them banished to their room, but I would rather have them stay out of my house for a week and then get a test after a week. By 7 days they should test positive if they were exposed. Mind you, if anyone comes to my house sick with anything they are asked to stay out of the kitchen and keep a distance for 3–4 days. I don’t want to get sick.

Edit: I saw an interview with a university, I don’t know if it was the dean, where they said that if we send the covid positive students home we send the virus out into the community, so it might be better to keep them on campus. I know my school, Michigan State University, originally had the plan for in-person education, and an entire dorm was set aside for covid positive to quarantine. They changed their mind at the last second and it is remote learning this semester for most students.

I’d sure try bargaining, or appealing. I assume you have paid for this education.

I’m asking about your relationship with the student, not your relationship with the school.

 
@Dutchess_III,
> Of course they can come home.

But what are the terms? How do you manage that? Are there any special arrangements, or do we just not worry about Granny with diabetes and Grandpa with COPD? How about Mom with her hands full? Not what do the article and commentators say, but what do you actually do?

There are a lot of analogous situations not involving a university that might call for the same considerations. Your daughter has just traveled abroad, your son has just got out of jail, whatever. What do you think you would do practically?

Probably insist that they be tested before coming home and/or quarantining them in a room in the house or somewhere else for two weeks before letting them out amongst family members. I know two similar situations. A friend was in Italy right at the being of the pandemic and when he came home, his housemates made him quarantine in his room for two weeks. And another friend whose daughter is living with them because of depression will soon return to her home in another state. My friend has said if her daughter needs to return to their house, she will have to quarantine where she is living for two weeks.

I would take necessary precautions which would include not visiting Gramma and Grandpa.
I will always be there for my kids, no matter what.

I have two bedrooms and one bathroom. I’d try to sanitize the bathroom after she used it and I’d deliver her meals to her room while wearing a mask and gloves.

If I were in that situation, I would probably try to rent an AirBnB somewhere close. The kid could isolate themselves there, I would deliver groceries and anything else necessary. After two weeks, I’d have them take a test and proceed from there. If they got dangerously sick, I assume I would take care of them or arrange for them to be admitted.