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RedDeerGuy1's avatar

What to say as a child when an adult says, "why do you deserve a chocolate bar?"?

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (17501points) 1 month ago

What would you say to get the chocolate bar?

Humor welcome.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

25 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

“Why do you deserve to live?”

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I used to get a Hersey’s Almond bar when we went fishing in Ensenada, Baja California Mexico. All had to do was go up to the flying bridge and steer the 40 foot “head boat” back to the harbor. Some days it was an hour and a half run back to the breakwater. The boat captain pay me because all the crew got cash tips for filleting and breaking down the fish that were caught. He wanted tips too. I was 10 when I started that candy bar run.

Darth_Algar's avatar

“Because I said so.”

Adults feel they do not owe the child an explanation. Therefore the child does not own the adult an explanation.

Jeruba's avatar

How about “I deserve nothing. I beseech you in your beneficent magnanimity to bestow it upon me like the grace of God, that I may honor your supreme munificence by receiving it in gratitude.”?

Zaku's avatar

I was fortunate enough not to have shame-based parents who might say such a thing, except possibly as a joke, to which I’d respond with a similar joke.

janbb's avatar

Can’t even imagine it. Treats were treats but not rewards that needed earning.

snowberry's avatar

Because chocolate is a supplement! I need it for my health! (I’ll need two today, thank you!!

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@all. Thanks. I was thinking around the lines of offering to do chores. Like sweeping and mopping the store, but your answers are just as good.

rebbel's avatar

“Cause I’m worth it.”
“Biatch…”

si3tech's avatar

Very sad if not said in jest. Child probably speechless. what could a child say?

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@si3tech My boss was trying to teach personal finance to his kids. I belive that It was not said in jest. Sort of a Republican right wing indoctrination.

Jeruba's avatar

What a wrong-headed notion. If I were his kid, I’d give up chocolate on the spot. I’d also figure that made me exempt from having to do chores. Stupid man.

kritiper's avatar

“Because I’m a good little boy who always brushes and flosses his teeth and I believe in truth, justice, and the American way.”

YARNLADY's avatar

Uuuuummmm Because I said please?

cookieman's avatar

because if u don’t give it to me i’ll follow you home and wait patiently until you nod off in front of your sad little television in your sad little apartment and quietly break in and smOtHER YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP!!

SergeantQueen's avatar

I will use my Ouija board to contact b̵̨̢̡̧̙̪̬̪̳̦̮̗̩̩̭̜̱̬̫̪̤͂́̂̋̐̒̇ḙ̶̼͚̅̃̈́̍͌͝ḙ̴͉͎̞̋͊̑̉͑̂̄̍͗̔̀̓͐͗̿̈̆̄̊́̊̚͘͝͝l̵̞̪̝͔̭͔̙̙̯̑͊̽͋͐̕ż̷̧̢̛̘͚̗͚͖̹͎̥̺̳̗̲͍̙͙͓͔̠̘̼́̈͌͐̀̊̄̒̇͌͂̊͒͌̎̉͘͠͠͝ę̸̡̢̢̛̲̘͓̘̬̩̻̫͓͉̄̀̔̑̇̊̓͛͒̾̊͐̊̔͛̓̇́̍͑͜͠͝͠b̴̧̨̢̯͕͉̓̒́̍͛͊̽͑̇̒̋̿̏̇̅́̇͘͠ͅų̷̨̢̤̹͉̩̭̯̥̖͇͉͚̟̻͍͖̦̝̭̽̄̔̈̂͒b̶̡̘̩̭̗̬̮̠̩̭͈̘͙̟̜̞̺̹̙̼̞̘͇̆̚͜ and have his almighty being smite you in your sleep

LostInParadise's avatar

Because I know you are not so petty as to make having a chocolate bar contingent upon any special behavior on my part.

gorillapaws's avatar

Sinister child: “If you don’t give it to me, I swear that I will do something horrible to you at an unspecified future time and place—could be a day or it could be years from now. Do you really want to live with the daily anxiety of not knowing what and when that could be? or would you rather just give me the chocolate?”

Good child: “Because generosity is an important human attribute. Humans evolved altruism through kin selection and by giving me that chocolate, you’ll receive a wonderful feeling of generosity for I will be truly grateful for your kindness.”

Darth_Algar's avatar

Why people always wanna give left-handers a bad name?

Love_my_doggie's avatar

“I want to eat it at your funeral.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Darth_Algar “Adults feel they do not owe the child an explanation.” I always gave my child an explanation. Not until they wore me out trying to take it to all these different levels did I resort to “Because I said so!!
My question is, why would a child need to earn a chocolate bar or any other candy, any more than they’d need to earn breakfast, lunch or dinner?

filmfann's avatar

Controlling much?

Inspired_2write's avatar

Because I deserve a break.

bizarrefish26's avatar

Because I have been a good boy mommy.

LogicHead's avatar

“because you love me”

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