General Question

Darknymph's avatar

Okay ladies, Did you ever try to exact revenge on your boyfriend or lover, but it back-fired on you?

Asked by Darknymph (189points) September 7th, 2008

I tried to do serious damage to him, but it didn’t go as planned, people joined sides, and the only thing I remember was waking up in a clinic with a broken ankle, along with other unfortunates of the brawl. ***oops***

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28 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

And that helped you how in future love relationships?

trudacia's avatar

It’s called karma…

Darknymph's avatar

Well Gail, now that you asked, I do try to find someone my type..heheh…and I did.

Darknymph's avatar

Karma? oh yeah do your dharma get good karma.

augustlan's avatar

As a teenager, I once made a point of kissing a new boyfriend in front of an old boyfriend. The hurt in the old boyfriend’s eyes was painful to see. I’d done a mean and spiteful thing, and felt terrible afterwards. Lesson learned.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

Oh interesting.

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Darknymph's avatar

oh and aug, if your boyfriend did something bad, maybe he deserved it.

augustlan's avatar

He didn’t…I broke up with him, and just wanted him to see how “happy” I was without him. Even if he had done something “bad”, I still would have regretted causing him pain.

Darknymph's avatar

so it did backfire in a way.

Darknymph's avatar

okay male members can join now.

AstroChuck's avatar

I told an ex once, “I’ve upped my standards. Now, up yours!”.
She didn’t take that well and I felt pretty bad afterwards. That’s about the worst I’ve said to someone I once cared about. Sometimes the things we say to hurt others eventually end up hurting the ones saying it.

susanc's avatar

All the times I hurt my husband, who was the best thing in my life (though extremely
annoying too) are coming back and biting me right now.

We did learn about repair behavior ten years ago and spent a lot of time practicing it -
both confession and forgiveness. But you never are glad you messed with someone’s head. Not because they get back at you, but because you know you were horrible.

Bri_L's avatar

I look back now on the things I did that hurt my ex girlfriends and learn from them.

I never did them on purpose. I had a ton of them do things to me on purpose. That stinks.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

well remember the golden rule.

MissAnthrope's avatar

The thing about revenge is.. you have to be smart about it. Take it from your resident Scorpio, who could be super-scary devious girl if I wasn’t such a nice person. :)

You have to plan, plan, plan. Look at it from every angle. Figure out how you could get caught. How it could backfire. What the potential consequences are. Just be really smart about it.

When I exact revenge, I do it in subtle ways, so I can sit back and watch and the person is none the wiser. So, no, I can’t say it’s ever backfired… though I do have something in the works that could potentially bite me in the ass if it doesn’t go the way I want. Ahem.

cyndyh's avatar

No. Revenge isn’t a good thing. It’s not satisfying at all and only serves to make a person feel worse about themselves. Don’t go down that road. It’s not worth it.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

For me it was…....

MissAnthrope's avatar

Everyone will probably like me less for admitting this, but I find revenge (especially the really good plans I’ve come up with) to be incredibly satisfying.

I know it’s bad, though, so I generally try to keep my revenge fantasies in my head instead of acting them out.

Sloane2024's avatar

Lurve for cyndyh! You put it bluntly and directly. In no circumstance will revenge ever prevail as the best long term solution. It provides temporary satisfaction, but inevitably proves you the lesser in the end. You reap what you sow.

Bri_L's avatar

@ AlenaD – Hats off to you. It takes a lot to post your opinion when you know it wont be popular. As predicted, I don’t agree with it.

I will admit to coming up with some great ones in my head as well. (you and I have a lot in common). I would never act on them though and none of them involve death or anything.

@ cyndyh – I agree. Don’t do the revenge thing. You will feel just as bad afterword and also guilty.

cyndyh's avatar

Thank you both, for saying so. Now I have thought about a lot of things that I would never ever do.

scamp's avatar

I am similar to AlenaD because I can think of some really bad things to do to people who have hurt either me or a loved one. The difference is that I never act on what I think up. I get my satisfaction by knowing I could make my enemy really miserable if I wanted, and knowing I am the better person for not acting on it.

Then I just sit back and let karma do it’s job. You might have to wait a long time, but evil people usually fall, and if you’re patient, you will get to see it.

gailcalled's avatar

We’re all entitled to nasty fantasies about “pay-back;” in fact, I bet that they rise, unprovoked and unpreventable, from all our Ids. Acting on them hurts only the perpetrator -probably more seriously psychologically than just a broken ankle. I am having one, now but just having it is enjoyable.

Write it down, spew it to your cat or to the wind or therapist, and then tear up the letter.

Poser's avatar

I’m currently living out the ultimate revenge fantasy—only it brings me amazing satisfaction and happiness every day. The added bonus is that I can see in her eyes that she is jealous of the wonderful life that I’m currently living. Oh well, her loss, not mine.

That’s all the revenge I care to dole out.

MissAnthrope's avatar

99% of the time, the revenge fantasy stays in my head, and it’s never about death or anything like that. I’m actually a pretty nice, easygoing person. I am also more patient and forgiving than average. Someone has to do something egregious before I’m spurred to act against them. Considering the amount of crap and abuse I’ve had to endure to get to that point, it’s usually quite satisfying. :P

augustlan's avatar

@AlenaD Good to see you again! We’d been missing you.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Aww, thanks. That’s sweet of you to say. :) I was visiting my family over the holidays and didn’t have much time to Fluther.

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