General Question

dollfacee's avatar

Do you think it is cheating if?

Asked by dollfacee (143points) September 8th, 2008

a girl is dating a guy and kisses another girl?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

JackAdams's avatar


Cheating can only occur in a comitted relationship.

I know this for a fact, because I was committed for several years.

simone54's avatar

Yes it is cheating.

Why the fuck wouldn’t it be?

augustlan's avatar

If you are in a monogamous relationship, then yes. Unless the guy says you can, then no. If you’re just dating, then no.

allengreen's avatar

I would not be jealous or think it is cheating in absence of a relationship. A long wet kiss, not cheating. A hidden relationship=cheating.

Monogamy is overrated anyway.

JackAdams's avatar

A monotgamus relationship is when you do the same person, over and over and over and over…

robmandu's avatar

Does the guy get to watch?

JackAdams's avatar

Damn! I was gonna ask that!

marinelife's avatar

When you say dating, do you mean the two of you have agreed not to date others? Then it is cheating.

If you are asking if the sex of who the person kissed was makes it not cheating, then the answer is it doesn’t matter what sex the person was if the intent of the kiss was romantic and sexual.

scamp's avatar

It’s cheating.

Bri_L's avatar

@ robmandu – you kill me. hehe.

yup cheating.

dollfacee's avatar

well i mean of course if they are dating, they are pretty much agreeing to not date other people.

Snoopy's avatar

Unless they had previously agreed that they they could date others, then yes, it is cheating….

jasonjackson's avatar

@dollfacee: IMHO, whether it’s cheating or not does depend on whether the agreement to not date other people was assumed (“pretty much”), or explicit.

Marina said it perfectly: it’s cheating if the guy & girl who are dating agreed not to date others. If the girl (guy?) who kissed another girl didn’t commit to exclusivity, though, then I wouldn’t call it cheating.

This is just another reason why communication in relationships is important, even in the early stages. Everyone should know where they stand.

dalepetrie's avatar

I’d say it also depends on the purpose of the kiss. Was there any sexual/romantic element to it? Or was it like maybe just a dare, she has no particular aversion to kissing another girl and figures why not? That’s not really cheating. Now if you have this underlying current of curiousity and are really turned on by the idea (or the act), that’s another thing altogether.

But bottom line, really the only thing that matters is if he thinks its cheating. Rule of thumb if you’re dating, no matter what YOU think the status of your relationship might be, and no matter what YOU think constitutes cheating or not cheating, you have to get on the same page about it BEFORE you do anything that could be a gray area. You could think you’re just dating someone and he could think you’re in a relationship, and if you kiss someone else, then even if you think “I never said we were exclusive”, he’ll be hurt by it…you can be right and still do someone wrong.

For example, I was once out at a club with my wife and there was a drunken bachelorette party going on, this one girl with a dildo in one hand, wearing a suck for a buck T-shirt with life savers all over it asked if she could “grab my junk” because of a bet. I had no particular desire to have my “junk” grabbed by a drunken slutty stranger, so had I allowed the transaction to occur, I would have derived no particular stimulus from it, so I would have not felt like I was cheating if I’d done so, just like I was doing someone a favor.

But I felt, my wife really should have some input on this. I told the young woman to talk to my wife, my wife told her to grab someone else’s junk, end of story. I don’t know that my wife would have thought of it as “cheating” per se, but regardless of what label she’d have put on it, it wouldn’t have been kosher. Conversely however, I know her well enough to know that she has zero sexual interest in other women, but if she were to kiss another woman to say win a bar bet or something, I’d have no problem with it.

Bottom line, know your boundaries, know your partners boundaries, and if in doubt, don’t do it unless you ask first.

Knotmyday's avatar

Ask the guy what he thinks, and if his opinion is important to you, go with it. Standards vary.
His opinion should matter to you more than ours, anyway.

dollfacee's avatar

oh btw i’m not either of the two girls. just a question.

dalepetrie's avatar

Damn, I was going to ask for the video.

Bri_L's avatar

what dalepetrie said. hehe

dollfacee's avatar

haha, sorry.

stephen's avatar

never tell me that again!!!!!!!!!!!

ben4444's avatar

I believe it is actually cheating

Knotmyday's avatar

I wish I spoke Hebrew…

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther