General Question

ASC0826's avatar

Would you date someone who previously rejected you based off your looks?

Asked by ASC0826 (129points) January 4th, 2021

It’s someone you went to school with, who you liked for a really time, but they never reciprocated it because of your physical appearance (overweight, crooked teeth, bad skin, etc.). Years later, you two meet up again, and whatever was physically “wrong” with you in the past has been fixed, so the person is willing to date you now.
Would you go for it?

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33 Answers

SergeantQueen's avatar

No. Everyone has preferences but in this scenario it seems they are only focused on looks and not personality as well. Both are important to people but to just focus on looks exclusively is dumb. I think personality and appearances are both important.

janbb's avatar

I wouldn’t judge someone on something from years ago unless it was something evil. We all make shallow judgments at times, especially when young. But even for older people, physical attraction can be important.

If you liked him then and now and he is interested in you now, years later, I would give it a chance.

Zaku's avatar

In theory, I would not rule it out because of that, no.

JLoon's avatar

I’ve only had bad break ups with male partners a few times, and only twice over my looks (“damn girl, will you get a haircut?!”). I know there’s more to everyone than appearances, but I admit I have my vanities and I felt disrespected. My hair at least is something more like an accessory, but for others where the issue is about permanent features they can’t change I can see that kind of judgment would be much more hurtful.

The problem for all of us is that we react to visual impressions first, and body image is part of self image. When expectations don’t match I usually move on and forget, and expect them to do the same. But if someone who actually mattered to me were to want to make a fresh start with a new attitude I’d keep an open mind.

chyna's avatar

You know, kids are jerks but then hopefully they grow up and change.
If you are interested, give him a chance.

zenvelo's avatar

It’s almost a cliche that awkward, clumsy, misshapen teenagers blossom into beautiful adults that wow everybody at the high school reunion, when the inner beauty finally reaches the surface.

One of my most meaningful relationships is with a woman that became enthralled with me (and I with her) at our 30th reunion. I don’t think I ever spoke to Miriam until we were both in our fifties. She has a special place in my heart.

JLoon's avatar

@zenvelo – Aww, from duckling to swan. Lucky guy :)

Blazin_'s avatar

I won’t. The person who dumps people based on looks shows that he/she does not care about what people’s hearts look like. All they care about are outside looks.

Patty_Melt's avatar

It never happened to me. I have been dumped, then begged to come back. They got a big fat no.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Don’t know never got rejected that way. I never rejected a woman I was with over shit like that either..usually only because they were to pushy about getting serious. Things got to heavy sometimes and I was traveling lite. Oh well.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m inclined to say no, but I will leave a little room for possibly it would be ok if it was young teen years where people can be idiots.

If it was weight, or something like a nose job I would not date them. A nose job will still show up on your children if you married the person. Weight, well as you get older it’s likely to gain some weight back. In fact, maybe not so old, because weight is very difficult to keep off statistically.

If it was hair style or a mole your parents wouldn’t let you remove then I might just chalk it up to stupid youth. The guy would have to be really great now though. He would have to not be so superficial anymore. If he was a hardbody work out 3 hours a day I would run the other way.

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kritiper's avatar

What does she look like?

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Jaxk's avatar

Back to the question. I’d say yes if they looked like Halle Berry, No if she looked like Moms Mably.

Pandora's avatar

No, only because I never liked dating shallow people. I remember I had a crush on a guy in the 8th grade. He treated me well enough till he found out I liked him. Then he made fun of my braces and without any need (I did not tell him I liked him) he did it in front of everyone and said I was dreaming to think he could ever be interested in someone like me. He was quite popular with the girls until he did that. The girls that he liked were turned off and it cured me of ever liking him or any guy who was shallow. So no. I wouldn’t have given him the time of day after that.

JkrbyPlylsts's avatar

No. Means they have an ulterior motive or are settling. Have some pride and tell them to f**k off.

raum's avatar

Being shallow is such a turn-off.
Hard pass.

janbb's avatar

@raum But he didn’t want to date her when they were teens and this is years later. Hard pass, still?

raum's avatar

If it were solely based on her looks, yes.

seekerbe53's avatar

Hi All,
No I would not date someone who has prior disregarded me. Because I have fixed my apparent “problems” you now want to date me. If I wasn’t good enough then, according to their standards, I shouldn’t now be considered worthy because I have fixed myself up. I am still the same person. The reality is that they were and still are shallow and can not see past the fact that a person is more than just their physical looks. There is a mind that thinks AND a feeling heart within that person that matters too. A person like this should be ever mindful to do unto others as they would have others do to them. If they really tapped into how they would feel if the were treated this way, I am sure they would think twice before treating others like this.

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